Sat, Jul 22nd - 10:58PM

Wilderness

Hello from the dessert place. The last week has been a up and down. One day I can not get out of bed to do anything before i go to work. Other days I am up at the crack of dawn and out the door. I just thank God I have more up days than down.

Please pray for me. I need to find a good freind at my Church. I feel out of touch I am very out going at the cafe at church I am a social butterfly. I will talk to anyone. Yet it does not happen What is wrong with people or is it me?

I realy want to find someone who wants to grow in the Lord together. I can not be the only one who needs someone during the week. Not just on Sunday in a sterile small group. I mean the group im in is great but no great freindships. I guess that  is not what they need they all have their family. once again Church can be a lonely place for devorced man who wants nothing but to grow in the lord.

This week one of the pastors suggested the singles group I want God not a women.

Thanks for letting me vent and put some of my frustrations in writhing.

Tue, Jul 18th - 9:47PM

I'm alive

Hey, guys I wanted to let you all know I was still alive. I do not get in here very often to post. I am doing okay. Today was bad I was very depressed some days I have a hard time getting out of bed. Just because I miss my family. The days I have my children I am fine but this morning my wife sent the kids to stay at her dads. The kids like it there and it is an okay place. But the kids tell me they never get to stay home anymore. I blame myself for what my children are going thru.

I just keep reminding myself that in the beginning of of our sepparation God assured me he would take care of my kids.

bye

Mon, Jul 3rd - 10:07PM

THE BATTLE RAGES ON

Passage Ephesians 6:12:
¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Every time I take a step towards God I come under attack. I read the Bible studied the word and prayed last week every day. I felt the fire growing in side of my heart. And then Saturday anger came raging back in to my heart. I lost my temper with my children and yeld at them not just "hey you stop that" but It was out of control. I have has this problem in the past. In fact was one of the factors in the divorce.

Please pray for deliverance for me I realy feel under attact. Satan does want to  sift me out he want so distroy me. For the first time in my life I feel truly afraid of loosing it.

My pray is God hold me close.