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  • You are here: Blogs Directory / Personal / Anonymous Confession of a Lunatic Friend Welcome Guest
    Anonymous Confession of a Lunatic Friend
          My blog... not sure what else to say... but I'm sure later I'll think of something profound to put here!

    Fri, May 12th - 6:36PM

    Nothing Spiritual - But a little Fun for Mothers

    Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

    Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

    There is no fast food.

    Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and  pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.  In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

    Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

    Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment . He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for  vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

    Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house,  planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

    The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep
     and all chores are done.

    There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead batteries.

    Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.

    The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.

    Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a
     tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

    Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men  must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their  clothing.

    During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings  but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to  explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the  purse.

    They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

    He will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night
     without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home  with no food on their face or clothes.

    A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will
     be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name.  Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of  labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they  want to be when they grow up.

    They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then
     spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them  hand and foot until they are better.

    They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me".

    The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

    The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate
     with his spouse at a moment's notice.

    If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over
     again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

    After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it!

    Comment (2)

    Thu, May 11th - 12:34AM

    The Service Order

    I think I shared in my profile that I'm the volunteer worship director at my church.  So I try to read a lot about worship and learn as much as I can.  I'm also attempting to read the complete Bible this year.  Tonight I was reading from Neh. 9.  (And to be honest in my 25+ years of being a Christian probably the first time I've read Neh. 9) But I digress...

    1) On October 31[a] the people returned for another observance. This time they fasted and dressed in sackcloth and sprinkled dust on their heads. 2)Those of Israelite descent separated themselves from all foreigners as they confessed their own sins and the sins of their ancestors. 3)The Book of the Law of the LORD their God was read aloud to them for about three hours.[b] Then for three more hours they took turns confessing their sins and worshiping the LORD their God.

    Wow!  For more than 3 hours they took turns confessing their sins and worshipping the Lord and all of this after they read God's Word.  A very challenging section of scripture.  It also makes me look at the format of our worship service, maybe it's like yours as well.  A typical Sunday morning worship service:

    • Everyone wonders in hopefully before the end of the prelude
    • A welcome from the Pastor's Wife along with announcements
    • Prayer
    • Singing worship songs and hymns for the next 15 to 20 minutes
    • Pastoral Prayer
    • Offering
    • Special Music
    • Sermon
    • Closing Song (unless Pastor goes long on his sermon then it's the Doxology)
    • Parting Blessings
    • Fellowship time

    I find the order in Neh. 9 intriguing.  Sometimes I feel like the worship team is the cheerleading squad.  Trying to get people excited about the "game"

    But here, they read the Word, they confessed their sins and worshipped. 


    Comment (2)

    Sun, May 7th - 11:03PM

    This is the Day that the Lord has Made...

    I will rejoice and be glad in it!!  Today was also communion at our church and Pastor talked about communion.  It was a good day.   The Lord blessed...

    I've been reading several of the recently updated blogs and there are some really good reminders out there.  Be sure to check out Bob's Devotion on Faith and Brother Lee's blog on Matt. 6:33 and Seek Ye First... 

    I'm so thankful how God speaks to us through different ways.  The main way is his Word, but He also speaks to us through Pastors and teachers, BLOGS (yes, blogs!) and in ficitional books.

    I use to read a lot when I was in high school but then college came and I spent all my time reading text books then in my job I had to do a lot of reading to learn more about my job, so no time for pleasure reading.  Well, 2 years ago a lady at church gave me a christian fiction book and today I finished the 73rd book since January of 2004.  It's neat how even in a fiction book God can smack you upside the head with the spiritual 2x4. 

    The book I finished today A Man Called Blessed  it was a sequel to a book called Blessed Child, by Ted Dekker and Bill Bright.  In Blessed Child we meet a 10 year old boy who was left as an infant at a montasary in Euthopia where he is raised by monks.  During those first 10 years he understanding nothing but complete intimacy with Christ.  The story A Man Called Blessed you meet Caleb 15 years old.  He is struggling with who he really is.  The thing reminder I got was NOT to forget my first love.  To have that faith that Bob talked about, that helps guide every decision I make.  And in all my prayers I seek first the KINGDOM of God!. 

    God is Good!

    Comment (3)

    Fri, May 5th - 5:11PM

    Where does the time Go!

    It's hard for me to believe that a week ago I was traveling on a bus with 50+ high schoolers from Denver to Colorado Springs with the snow coming down.  Stopping at the Air Force Academy and walking their grounds.  If you ever have the opportunity to visit the Academy go to the chapel.  Just an incredible site... 3 beautiful chapels for Prostantants, Catholics, and Jews.  My son got most excited about the pipe organ that was located in the Prostantants chapel.  The below picture is from the Catholic Chapel... I thought this one was very cool...

    But as I think back over the last week and how quickly everything seems to have gone by I think about eternity.  What will that be like... the word say a day is as a 1,000 years and a 1,000 years are as a day to the Lord.  (Forgive me if that's not an exact quote).   What will it be like for us?  I think about how rushed I am most days, yet in eternity I don't think I will be.  I'll have the opportunity to sit and bask in the glory of my Lord and Savior.  Then I think about the fact that I should be doing that even now.  This life is practice for eternity...  am I basking in the glory of my Lord as I should?  Unfortunately, no...

    Thankfully, God is all forgiving when we ask...  He is faithful and just to forgive us... 

    Next question... how do I slow down?


    Comment (3)

    Tue, May 2nd - 1:05AM

    God's Greatness

    Sorry I've been absent for several days... I spent 4 days in Colorado with my son and his high school band. Such a beautiful state! Flying into Denver... visiting Colorado Springs and Pikes Peak... well... I guess Pikes Peak was beautiful... I was too sick to know or care... but the pictures my son took it was very beautiful! The majesty of God's creations!


    Comment (2)

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    About Me

    Name: Holly Magnuson
    ChristiansUnite ID: hollymag
    Member Since: 2006-04-18
    Location: Covina, California, United States
    Denomination: Wesleyan
    About Me: January 2008 time to update my story! I've been married for almost 20 years now. My oldest is a 17 year old senior and my youngest is almost 9 years old and in third grade. Both great kids the younger is being medicated for ADHD. Which creates ... more

    May 2006
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