Sun, May 14th - 11:45AM

Why Jesus you ask?

I had a friend once tell me a very mind exploring story, if I can use such terms. There was a man, who during the Great Depression, lost his job, his wife, his home, and his fortune. He hung on tightly to the one thing he
did have left - his faith. One day he stopped to watch some men doing stone work on a church. One of the workers was chiselling a triangular piece of stone. He asked the worker, "What are you going to do with that?"
The worker replied, "See that little opening way up there near the spire? Well, I'm shaping this down here, so it will fit up in there." As he walked away, tears filled his eyes, for it seemed that God had spoken
through that worker to explain the ordeal he was going through: "I'm shaping you down here, so you will fit in up there."

Hmmmm....isn't that interesting.  I struggled with this as a very young man.  I was searching
for something.  Something that I was never really quite sure exactly what it was, but it was something.  I had been saved, baptised with water and the Holy Spirit, but something just always seemed out of sorts.  A longing
for answers, yes, perplexed with the problem of never knowing exactly what the question was.  I was lacking understanding.  If it sounds complicated as you read, well, I can tell you from experience it was complicated to
deal with.  I would often find myself in prayer, pondering, wondering, but still, I just couldn't put my finger on it.  But as I have stated in previous posts, I was learning (still am and always will be).  It wasn't until I learned a thing or two about myself that I slowly began to understand, if only just a bit. (I did a bit of "healthy" self
examination..with the help of the Lord of course).

It was the day I brought every thought in my head to the Lord (trust me, if you could get inside of my head it would be as if someone dropped several jigsaw puzzles on the floor and mixed the pieces into one big heap.  Many of you understand this I'm sure).  It was the day I began to be completely honest with Him, not only about the struggles I was facing, about the man that I wanted to be, but also the positives, the thanks and praise to Him for my joys, my happiness, and above all his willingness to be with me, to work with me, to help me grow in Him.  The Lord is good and was listening.  It was my first "real" step in a relationship that wasn't so superficial. A relationship that didn't just "go through the motions." He always knew what I was thinking, what my intentions were, but what could He do with me if I didn't see or worse, if I refused to see?  The word "conversation" is defined as: The spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings.  It doesn't really work if I can't understand that.  Now, the many ways the Lord has conversation with me will be a post that will come a bit later, but it does relate to my understanding and growing.  Jesus, to me, is that friend who always listened, heard my deepest thoughts (no matter how strange at times).  At times he just listened, at times I felt convicted, at times I felt great releaf, but he always listened (and he always had the time to listen) and he always knew how and when to show me the answers to my questions, even if I didn't like the answer (Praise be to God for his Holy Word).  How could I ever ask more then that of anyone?  What I learned most was I can live my life thinking that its purpose is just a path, the everyday rituals (work, school, shopping, eating, talking, relaxing, struggling, enjoyment, ect......) or I can realize that everything that happens is more then everyday life.  The Lord does not punch a time clock to work with us. He refuses to take vacations and refuses to call off sick.  Perhaps that is how my walk with Him should be. Perhaps life is more then just events to fill the hours of the clock. Its purpose for us is more.  One of the things I will remember is that the Lord's plan is to shape us down here so we can fit in up there.  This is something I will continue to ponder......no doubt about it.

Philippians 3:18-21 

Sun, May 7th - 11:13AM

God gave me a garden.

*Thanks for all the wonderful comments and especially the encouragement concerning my last post.  Its greatly appreciated and the fellowship is much welcomed.  Thank you all who posted.*

James 5:7 Be patient, then , brothers, until the Lord's coming.  See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.

I feel a profound existence of God in my life.  I have always felt it from my very first memory.  However, it has taken me twenty-five years of my life to realize that He was talking to me.  When I questioned why I had never noticed, it occurred to me rather quickly that I was never really listening, never really taking the time to listen.   Now that time has come for me at the age of twenty-nine.  His voice is all around me.

Its that time of year again.  Each spring my labor of love begins with de-weeding the garden, turning the soil, adding nutrients and finally mixing it all (by hand mind you) until I have a very nice garden of fresh tilled earth.  Its a long process, but I must confess, I do enjoy the work.  I have spent many mornings with the Lord in that garden, prayer and thoughts in my mind and heart, shovel in my hands, dirt upon my brow.  I noticed recently just how much I cared for that garden, and by rights, I should with the time and work involved.  Each February begins with planting of seeds, giving them plenty of water and sunlight every morning, until they bud into something that resembles a very small plant.  The next several months involves the care taking process, a very delicate time when I often find myself staring at the plants with an eyebrow raised wondering whether I really know what I planted (I often confuse the zucchini and the cucumber), or if the little guy who is looking weak is going to survive until summer.  Finally around Mother's Day, they are ready to go into the ground. With some luck (even though I do not believe in such things) they will be yielding fruit over the few summer months that follow. Yes, its true, it would be just as easy for me to drive to the local market and simply buy the vegetables that I would like to eat.  But for me there is a satisfaction in raising a crop from seed and seeing it all the way through harvest.  It demands hard work.  Hard work, yes, but above all patience, which brings me back to my original point of posting this blog.  God gave me a garden, and through working in this garden I have learned patience (at least to some extent) and have tried to apply this to my life.  There was a seed planted in me, and every morning it was watered and it grew and to this day it continues to grow.  Patience is leading me to understanding.  Perhaps that was it purpose to begin with and although I do like the thought of that, at this point I'm not sure.  I can only comment on how I feel.  These feelings lead to several questions that I find myself asking. Can I look at situations that the Lord presents me with and have the patience to understand them?  (Especially when those situations are trying my patience!) Can I give frustration and confusion the time needed for me to fully understand them?  With all that I have been taught, will I find resolve? Can I take a step back from a situation, pray, and see what its true meaning is?  Do I have the patience to listen! Sometimes I succeed with this, and sometimes I fail.  But I am thankful that I can be honest with myself to see the difference between the two.  I have much work to do regarding this, but I'm thankful that the Lord is willing. His patience with me has been monumental.  Its funny (never thought I would be capable of such things) to see what I'm learning, how the Lord is teaching me, and what He is using to teach me.  Whenever I feel my patience being tried, I just remember that God gave me a garden.

2Peter 3:15