Fri, May 11th - 8:44PM
should preists/ministers/etc marry?
I've heard many opinions of those who believe that priests, etc. should marry as well as those who oppose it, and I understand both sides. I know that most of the ministers, etc. are allowed to marry, except for the priests of the Catholic church (not sure if there are other denominations) that can not marry.
Personally, I believe that priests, ministers, etc. should be allowed to marry. What is so wrong with it? I believe that marriage is something very beautiful and sacred! I know that priests don't marry so that they can serve God better, and because they believe it's impossible to serve "two" masters, but why view the wife/marriage as a master? There's only one true Master, and there are plenty of people who do marry, and are able to continue to follow God. I believe it's an issue where the priest, etc. should be careful of who he would choose to marry...make sure he's marrying a woman that holds deep and serious religious beliefs, and is very moral, etc. If the priest does that, I don't really see what the problem would be, especially if the wife would be understanding about the priest's calling/purpose and doesn't try to tear him away from that. At the same time, anything is possible in a marriage...the man or woman someone marries may not be the same person he or she married, lets say, 25 years ago...the spouse may have grown away from the church and certain morals he or she married in the beginning of the marriage may not exist anymore, putting the priest in a very compromising position.
But I think that a married priest/minister, etc. is something really beautiful, and pure. Priests, etc. serve as examples/role models to the congregation and others, and what could be more beautiful and pure than a priest/minister that is devoted to God, and also has a strong, supportive, and believing family with him? I think that image is a very powerfully positive one, and it would be a great example for others to follow of what a marriage is. Many couples nowadays don't go to church, forget, go sporadically, and/or gradually fall away from the church for many different reasons including things involving the children, etc., but priests/ministers with a family would be an excellent example to others, showing how balancing faith and family IS possible, and essential for the entire family.
I also have a hard time believing that priests are "perfectly fine" with not marrying. As they get older and perform many marriages, etc., some must look back or examine how they feel being alone...sure, they have God, but priests are also human, of the flesh, and they aren't perfect either. There are MANY reports of priests in many Catholic churches being child molesters...which would you consider to be more pure...a priest being a child molester, or having a family of his own? I know this is a confusing issue, even for me, and many will say that the reason that Catholic priests molest children isn't because they can't marry. I don't know what to believe when this specific point is reached, but then another question raises in my mind...okay, if not being able to marry "doesn't" cause a priest to molest children, or put him at a higher risk to do so, why is it that all of the religious leaders I have heard in the news, on tv, read in the papers, etc., are "Catholic" priests...I haven't heard of any cases of molesters from any religion where the minister/etc. IS allowed to marry. How about ex-priests? I'm sure there are many priests in the past who decided to leave their priesthood to marry...how many of those priests went on to become child molesters? I haven't heard of any. Should Catholic priests be allowed to marry? Should they remain single for life? Should they only be allowed to be a priest for a certain number of years, then made to leave their priesthood? Although I'm not Catholic, I really feel bad for the sex scandal issues in the Catholic church because it causes some, perhaps many, of its followers to quit, question their faith, find another religion, etc. I believe that people should join the religion they find they most agree with (beliefs, standings on social issues, etc.), and I think it's absolutely terrible for them to have their faith shaken as a result of sex scandals in the Catholic church...especially if the person/people were devoted members. I feel like there should be a study/test with priests...for five years, allow priests to marry, and see if the number of priests molesting children goes down. That's the only way we'll know if priests molesting children and not being able to marry is related.
Why do I bring this issue up? It has been on my mind for quite some time. My fiance joined a Catholic church in the beginning of the year, and when I was looking for the address and web page of it in a search engine, an alarming past news article came up in the results. A priest that used to do sermons in the church my fiance joined, was arrested for molesting children in 2003. The priest wasn't conducting services, or affiliated with the same church when he was caught...he was affiliated with the church back in the late 1970's. Apparently, he was "re-assigned" to another church in south Florida, and the article went on to say he was "re-assigned" to other churches three or four other times before finally being arrested in 2003. I feel really strange going into my fiance's church because of that, but I am careful not to believe that EVERY priest is a child molester. . .I'm only aware that it's more prevalent in the Catholic church. Another problem is that I have a lot of sexual abuse in my own past history as I grew up, and that makes it feel even stranger going into a Catholic church, especially one that I know is connected to a priest caught for those crimes. I had to agree to raise my child Catholic when Leo and I went to our wedding preps...and in the back of my mind, I was thinking "sure, but he won't be an alter boy, etc.". I feel terrible for thinking that, but at the same time I would have to protect my child. My fiance and I are getting married in a Catholic church (for his family) and even the church we're getting married in (we live in Florida, but marrying in Delaware), I found out had a priest a number of years ago that was caught molesting children as well...he's not with that church anymore. It's really terrible that there are actually "bad" priests like that, and I think, of all people, having a "priest gone bad" is the worst in society because it's associated with the MOST important area in the lives of so many people...religion, God, faith, etc. I'd rather have, or hear about, 100 bad police officers than 1 bad priest. It's just too important of an area of a person's life, and I think this issue has helped to give Christianity a bad name in society. What I mean by that is that it seems like religion, in today's society in the usa, is almost taboo to even mention. Everything seems to be becoming more and more anti-religious, and I feel like bad priests are a part of that reason that people get these negative ideas of religion in their head.
I have a lot of respect for a married minister. I look up to someone like that (not as an idol) because he is able to keep his life in order and maintain a wonderful family as well as his faith/duty in the church. Also, for those who go to the same church for years and years, they can watch that priest and his family grow, and they can see the priest put the same religious and life values into his own children. To me, that's absolutely beautiful, and I don't think it's something that God would look down on. Of course, I wouldn't want the priest/minister to be pulled away from his religion, so I believe that if a priest/minister is to marry, the woman he would marry should be of the same religious denomination (it is stressful otherwise), and they should have to "court" for a number of years before marriage so that the woman, or man (considering women can be ministers) will fully understand the life they will live, what the responsibilities of the minister/priest are, and what is expected of them as a husband or wife. I was watching "Little House on the Prairie" today on the Hallmark channel, and one of the episodes that was airing was where the story focused on the minister of their town, Walnut Grove, decided to get married. He was single for many years, and it was going to be his first time getting married (and he was elderly). Of course it was just TV, but it raised questions in my head of why shouldn't priests be allowed to marry, as long as they're very careful? Two masters? Who? There's only one master, and that will always be God. EVERYONE, priest or not, minister or not, married or not, has only ONE master, and that's God. I am fully aware, and Leo is fully aware that the number one on my list is God, then Leo...and he's okay with it. After all, it is because of God that my fiance and I are together. That doesn't mean I'll be any less of a wife to Leo, and it doesn't mean he'll be any less of a husband. Needless to say, the minister in the episode of the show had the same problem, someone in the town was VERY against him having a relationship or getting married, and she tried to cause a scandal, even writing to the next head of the church (I don't know what they're called). He came to the town and warned the minister that he may be forced to choose between the church and the marriage if that citizen making the accusations didn't withdrawl them. It was sad because the minister was alone his entire life, but very virtuous, etc., and it was sad to see him going through that during the episode. In the end, of course, the citizen that made those false claims gave in, and the minister was able to marry and keep his church. It was a really good episode, and I ended up crying a few times through it, including at the end when he got married, lol!
That episode made me think even more about whether priests and ministers should get married, and I still believe that they should be allowed to. I understand that the Catholic church doesn't believe in priests marrying because of not being able to satisfy two masters, etc., and it could lead to the priest being lead away from the church, etc. if he were allowed to marry, but even priests are human. Which is better...a priest marrying and having a family, or hearing a dozen more cases in the news a year about priests molesting children? Okay, a priest is married to God, but if he molests a child, doesn't he commit adultery on God, as well as a couple of other sins/crimes?
I don't know...I have so much in my head, and I don't know if it's all coming out correctly or not. I'm really sorry if I sound out of line...I'm not trying to attack religion, but only discuss a certain issue in the politics of the Catholic church, and any other that forbids their priest/minister/etc. to marry. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, and if anyone is upset or offended, or thinks this post is a bit out of line and would like me to delete it, just let me know. This is just an issue that I had some sensitive feelings on. Thank you, and take care!
Comment (4)
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Fri, May 4th - 5:03PM
About my last post
I wrote a couple of concerns in my last post about a couple of things I read in the Bible about rich people, and those who use God's name in vain, swear by it, curse it, etc. My concern about the latter was that I read that that anyone who commited that sin would not be forgiven.
The comment that someone had left me said that it would have been more helpful if I had the numbers of the specific verses, etc., where I read about my concerns are:
Matt 12:30 - Matt 12:32
Matt 19:21 - Matt 19:24
Matt 23:16 - Matt 23:22
So far, I've only read the book of Matthew thoroughly, and half of Mark. I didn't list any from Mark yet because I want to re-read what I've read again. Today, I read Matthew over again and wrote down all of the verses that I thought were the reason for my concerns, or my misinterpretations, etc. Thanks again, and God bless you!
Comment (8)
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Fri, May 4th - 12:12AM
Two things I'm afraid of
I've been reading and thinking more about what I've read in the Bible so far, and I've noticed plenty of things that are stressed over and over again, but two are really scaring me.
First, I keep reading that God will not forgive anyone who uses His name in vain, curses it, swears by it, etc. Thats pretty scary to think that you can live a very moral life, try to live to please God, but any slips with the use of His name, and you're condemned. There's no hope for salvation in that case? Does that mean that a person that has used His name in vain should just give up trying to live morally and follow God when he or she makes that mistake? Seriously...who hasn't used His name in vain "ever" nowadays at some point, even by a mistake? I know, and admit, unfortunately, that I have used God's name in vain in the past, but I never meant any of it, and I have asked for forgiveness, and kept trying to live to please God...but will I always remain unforgiven and be thrown into hell? Maybe there's something I'm misunderstanding, or I'm reading everything too literally, I don't know. Can someone explain this to me? I've read the whole book of Matthew, and I'm a little more than half way through Mark...is there a place in the Bible that explains this better to me? Of course I continue to live my life the best I can, and to follow God, because I would think that He would not approve of someone that gives up so easily, and I would think that He would be happier with the person if he or she continued to live the best they could, determined to make God happy by not giving up when met with a problem or challenge. If the person just gave up, that would be satan taking over, but if the person continued to try and try and try, and lived a very moral life, etc., and kept accepting God, and rejecting satan, wouldn't that mean anything? I can't speak for God, I know, but I just have these few confusions, and I'm trying to work through it the best way I think would make God happy.
The other thing I keep reading that scares me is about rich people and how it sounds like it's almost impossible for them to get into heaven. Not exactly impossible, but VERY difficult. I'm not rich, and I didn't grow up rich, but at the same time I see that the life of my fiance and I will be much better off in the future, and we will more than likely make a good amount of money, which is scaring me now after what I've been reading. The only thing I can guess what was meant by the verses I read was that it's so difficult for rich people to go to heaven because many lose themselves in their material possessions instead of remaining humble, loving, accepting, empathetic, and caring towards others. It's very hard for them to keep the same level of caring towards people, and the same attitude they had before they got rich...many take advantage of the little guy, step on him, etc. They also seem to lose the idea and purpose of what life is, etc. Is this what the Bible meant by it being harder for a rich person to get into heaven? I'm not saying every rich person has those characteristics, but if I had to guess about what was meant, I would say that it was the negative characteristics that some display.
I'm just confused about these two things I've been reading, and any help and/or clarification is definitely appreciated! Sorry if my writing is a bit confusing and all over the place, lol! I'll clarify anything that I think has been taken the wrong way if I think I see it happening! Thank you very much, take care, and God bless!
Comment (1)
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Wed, May 2nd - 1:41PM
A little nervous
This may sound rather silly, but I feel a bit nervous. I'm trying to find the right church for me to go to in my area (Miami), and I've narrowed it down to two Lutheran churches that are close to where I live. After reading about what the Lutherans believe, and where they stand on many social/political issues, I'm 99% sure that the Lutheran church is exactly where I fit in.
The only thing is that I don't know which of the two churches to go to, and I'm very nervous about going...almost like the first day of school! I've gone to church plenty of times this past year, but I was attending church with my fiance, who is a Catholic, and it isn't "my" faith. I respect Leo for having his beliefs, and I understand that our beliefs differ in this area, but we still love each other VERY much. As long as he believes in God, and follows his faith, that's what matters to me. I'm happy to see people put their trust in God, and their lives in His hands. Leo believes in God, but he doesn't follow the Catholic faith completely in areas...as if he isn't as serious as he should be. He sees this, and he listens to my concerns, and he's definitely trying more. I told him that I refuse to have children with him in the future until we both attend church regularly and until we are very serious about God. Why bring a child into the world when he or she wouldn't get the direction he or she needs to become a good person and believer in God? I have noticed plenty of differences in children and adults who believe in God, and follow Him versus those who do not, or consider themselves to be athiest. I told Leo I want the best for our child(ren), and if we plan on having them, we need to make sure that we seriously focus on our religion.
I think part of my nervousness also comes down to the fact that the church I plan to go to is MY choice of religion, not just being taken TO church by my mother, a friend from a religious family, etc. I'm glad I went with others before and that I had the chance to be exposed to other denominations though, but there comes a point in time when a person needs to stop and really think about what he or she truly believes, and then evaluate whether they're in the religion that fits their beliefs the best. I'm really afraid to live a lie, especially under God. I was baptized presbyterian and attended that church for a while, then I attended a methodist church with my family, then a catholic one with my fiance, and one set of my grandparents are episcopalian, but they are looking for a new church because of the division of beliefs in social issues that are dividing that church.
I'm also nervous about the registration process, etc. of the church, but I don't believe I should be. Most of these concerns are ridiculous really, and I know that I'm going to jump in and just do what I have to do. It's okay to be nervous, as long as I DO what I need to do. I don't even understand why I am so nervous really...why should I be afraid of going to church? I don't have anything to really be afraid of...I'm more afraid of being driven towards evil and not having God in my life. *sigh*, I feel like I'm answering myself, lol! I have two distinct choices, God or satan, and this is one of the few issues where there isn't any gray in between because responsibilities and consequences follow each...although I don't see any bad consequences associated with God.
Okay, this entry is turning way to much into a nervous rambling, loll! I'm going to stop here, and when I write another entry(-y +ies), it will probably be about my interpretation of some passages I've read. I'm always thinking about them and what they mean!
Comment (5)
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Tue, May 1st - 8:31PM
Not sure how to reply to comments left by people who are currently offline!
I just wanted to thank everyone that has commented on my blog entries! All of you have been VERY helpful and welcoming to me, and I greatly appreciate it! Unfortunately, I don't know how to reply back to some of you (I'm still new)! I was able to reply to one person, but that was because I was able to find her under the "who's online" area. It seems I can't reply to people that aren't online, or I just haven't figured out how to yet, lol!
Mary Lou and Marsha: I wasn't able to reply to the two of you, so if you read this, I wanted to let you know that I thank you very much for the welcome, and Mary Lou, you were a lot of help as well with the advice you gave me! As for denomination, I'm pretty sure (99%) sure that I am Lutheran (I seem to agree with nearly everything they believe), but I don't call myself a Lutheran yet because I'm not a member of their church as of yet, but I have been searching around the area I live for a Lutheran church that I am interested in attending. I've only found two that are very close to me...I'm surprised because I live in Miami, and it's mostly Catholic here, lol!
I just registered on this site today, and I feel that it is already one of my favorite sites, if not my very favorite. I feel like the community here is very friendly, accepting, kind, helpful, and so much more...there's definitely a very positive feeling this site gives. I've read some blog entries from other people, and I notice that many quote verses from the Bible, and I really like that. I was wondering how I give proper credit to each verse...I notice there is a number, then a colon, then a number, then a colon, but I'm not sure which is which, lol! Before I quoted anything, I just wanted to make sure I knew how to properly give credit. As I've been reading the Bible, I have been finding many verses that really touch me and are powerful, and I don't want to forget them, or where they're located. I would like to start writing them down so that I can easily find them in the future.
Thanks again to everyone that has given me advice as well as welcomed me to this site, and God bless you all!
Comment (6)
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Tue, May 1st - 4:59PM
The Bible
The past couple of days I have really applied myself to starting to read the Bible all the way through. It's not the first time I saw a Bible, or read any of it. I've only read parts of the Bible before, etc. I started a bit on Sunday, but I ended up not reading as long as I wanted to, however, yesterday, I was able to read almost the entire book of Matthew (I had started reading it the day before). My mother always told me to start with the New Testament, and then read the Old Testament...I don't know how good that advice is considering that I usually start at the beginning of a book when I read, but at least I'm reading! Even though the book of Matthew is the only book of the Bible I've read in it's entirety so far, I found it VERY powerful, thorough, and it really touched me. I found myself having so many emotions while reading it, even crying during some parts. I just started reading the book of Mark today, but I'm a little confused already. Some of it seems to be repetative, and when I looked ahead, even the names if the stories and chapters were very similar to Matthew. I thought that Jesus was crucified at the end of the book of Matthew, but then I noticed that it looks like Jesus was crucified at the end of Mark...which one was it, or is one only a refection of the other, etc.? I'll definitely keep reading, and my question will more than likely be answered. Another problem could probably be the version of Bible that I'm reading. See, I got one of those really easy to understand Bibles that's in plain English....the title of it is "Seek FIND: The Bible for All People" the contemporary English version, published by Putnam Praise. Is it the wrong one? I've found that I agree with the Lutheran denomination's beliefs, etc. almost completely...what version do they read? There are so many different versions of the Bible out there that it confuses me...is there really much of a difference between the different versions? Someone has recommended the King James versoin to me...is that an easy version to understand? More than anything, the biggest thing I want is to be able to "understand" everything that I read, otherwise, I'm afraid I can interpret it wrongly. If anyone can explain these questions/confusions that I have, I would really appreciate it! Thank you, and God bless! :)
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Tue, May 1st - 3:04PM
Society nowadays and God.
Is it me, or does believing in religion, talking about it, etc. seem like it's becoming more and more of a taboo nowadays? It seems like everyone is trying to squash anything to do with religion out of existence anymore, and personally, it worries me as well as saddens me. Religion is not meant to be something hateful or cruel, despite the violence that people consistently like to declare it is...and what does that matter to those people anyway when it seems like more and more people are caught up and addicted to violence nowadays? I believe a lot of religion scares people...because they aren't in control, can't stand a higher power than themselves, believe they're condemned anyway, and they don't believe in what they can't see. I really thing that religion is mostly misinterpreted, and if people really researched religions and read some of the books, such as the Bible, they would see that it's nowhere near as bad as they had condemned it to be.
Sure, death, pain, torture, destruction, etc. are mentioned, but not necessarily in a destructive way if you're able to really get what the message is behind the words. Most of the time there is a mentioning of being forgiveness, warning, guidance, example, etc. if the person keeps reading. But of course, in order to go to heaven, etc. it takes a lot of work, living to certain morals, forgiving of others, living to help others and be a good person, resisting temptation, etc...seems like too much work for many people. Why? Are they afraid to be good, moral people? Then the same people complain about how much more violent it seems nowadays (people, events, etc.), but that's not because of God...it's their own doing. God doesn't just pop out of the clouds and tell people to stop what they're doing because it's wrong, or answer every single prayer within the time frame the one praying wishes, etc...He expects us to have a mind of our own and choose the right path. Life has many ups and downs, and people have to realize that God isn't there to just hand us everything we want. We have to take action and do things for ourselves also...and many of us simply "use" God only when we want something, and then abandon Him. Don't you hate it when you're in a store, and a three year old child starts to throw a huge temper tantrum, screaming, kicking and crying when he or she doesn't get a candy bar or a toy he or she wants? That's how many people are about God I think, only they turn away from Him when they don't get what they want.
God doesn't create violence, and he isn't oppressive...He gave us free will...which makes me believe that He believes in freedom (in a good way), and He will judge us on how we choose to live our lives, if we choose to follow Him or not, how we treat others, if we obey His word and commandments, etc. We have nothing to lose by believing in God, or a religion, but everything to lose without one. Violence and hatred exists because of Satan and what people "choose" to do with their free will.
I believe the world has grown increasingly violent since religion has been increasingly shunned. Believers are made fun of, even labeled some names that are supposed to make them seem freakish etc., and the believers are the ones that are blamed for the increasing violence. I don't understand why it's cool and popular to watch a movie about someone being hacked to death with an ax, or a chainsaw, or shot, or tortured, etc., or someone committing adultery, etc., listen to music associated with cussing, violence, killing, unnecessary suffering, stupidity, etc. I don't understand why it's considered "uncool" to watch a "family" movie, or at least something that doesn't have unnecessary violent content, or much of it, and listen to music where the person is relaying a good message, etc. Why is doing good so unpopular, and being violent encouraged? Why is it cool to hurt others, make fun of others, bully others, put others down, etc., but it's uncool to accept a person for who he or she is (geeky or not), or to encourage others, help others, etc.? Then people wonder why others snap and commit horrible crimes such as the school shootings that seems to be becoming increasingly popular nowadays because those kids are pushed to the brink, and/or their parents didn't teach them a constructive way to deal with stress, and they feel because they are bullied, that gives them the right to kill as many people as they can before they kill themself. I was bullied terribly when I was younger, but it made me stronger, and it has a great deal to do with who I am today. I don't treat others better or worse depending on how he or she looks, dresses, or interests (computers, bugs, etc.). I never thought about killing many people because of how I was treated, maybe myself at times (not solely because of the bullying though), but I had a dog and God that kept me alive at the time...God gave me hope, and I hung on longer, and it's because of that that I'm here today to see how my life got better.
Sure, there has always been a level of violence in history, but that's man's doing...not God's. God and Jesus always advised to forgive others, treat others as you would yourself, live morally, and a lot of the things in the Bible that can be thought of as violent can be seen mostly as metaphors...not meant "literally". I'm only 25 years old, but I do a lot more reading, listen to the stories of my grandparents and other elderly people, and I have seen for myself the past several (about 10-15 years) an increase in violence. I don't ever remember hearing about so many school shootings when I was younger, except learning about that one at the University of Texas that was in the 60's...nowadays, school shootings and bomb threats are commonplace. Religion is increasingly shunned, anything with God's name in it, or anything referring to religion is being changed...I'm really surprised the USA currency hasn't been changed yet ("In God We Trust"), but I believe it will be within the next 10 years if things keep going the way they are. I've really noticed a further shunning of religion the past five years, even the idea of there being a God being considered ridiculous by many nowadays. What is wrong with believing in God? What is wrong with having something good in our lives?
Even prayer in school has been taken out, although that was quite a while ago, and I believe that is ridiculous as well. Okay, I understand that the "reason" was so one religion wasn't favored and pushed on every child, including those of different faiths. Why not arrange the children in homerooms in the morning by what religion they believe in rather than what the letter of their last name begins with? I understand true muslims are supposed to pray five times per day...are they given that chance? If homerooms were arranged by religions (Catholic, protestant, Islam, Buddhist, Hindu, etc.), than during that first half hour in the morning, other than taking attendance and wasting the rest of the time, each student can practice their faith. There should also be a class in each school about religions, promoting religious tolerance, and teaching what each religion is about so that fear can be eliminated...the common thing that provokes hatred and violence. Bad behavior would greatly reduce, and children would get what religion commonly gives children...conscience, fear of judgment and a higher power, that they are not invincible, goodness, empathy, love, respect, moral values, respect, responsibility, forgiveness, hope, and so many other things that I could keep listing.
With all of this violence in the media and society, we are being desensitized from each other...someone dying is no big deal, or it's "interesting" news when it happens in a gruesome way such as the recent Virginia Tech shootings. It feels like people don't care about each other anymore...they're only interested in social class, money, material possessions, physical appearances, power, etc...and if you don't have any of that, you're screwed...no one cares about you. How is society supposed to survive if it's more interested in destruction....and it's only going to lead to our own destruction.
You know, I have greatly reduced the amount of violence I watch on tv, listen to on the radio, etc. the past two years, and I can definitely tell a difference in myself. I wasn't violent before, but my frame of mind has changed, I'm much more peaceful, relaxed, less anxiety, and my views about life have changed as well. Of course I had good morals and discipline as well as religion before, but once I eliminated the violence from my life, it was like the final touch being completed. I don't need to worry about what other people will do to me, or how to counteract any comments or ways I get treated. Why retaliate for petty things? Why fight when it isn't necessary? Is it really necessary to fight or kill over words or other ridiculous things...when my life or my family's life isn't at risk? People seem to like to treat people badly for a reaction, drama, excitement, and to make them feel better about themselves. If they put a person down, then they only feel that much bigger.
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Name: Meghan Phillips
