Tue, Nov 22nd - 9:31PM

In common

What do King David, Issiah and Timothy H Ray have in common?

Before I answer the question let me say it is a gift from God the Holy One.

King David said "Then I acknowledged my sin to you
       and did not cover up my iniquity.
       I said, "I will confess
       my transgressions to the LORD "—
       and you forgave
       the guilt of my sin. 
       Psalms 32:5

Isaiah stated it like this "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."    Isiah 5:5

I also see the darkness of my sins that have brought me to this valley in my life. although I am a born again Christian I became tangled up in what I want and how I was going to get it.

David wanted Bathsheba murdered her husband so he could get what he wanted.Isiah lived with a nation of people of unclean lips and he fell in to what how they lived. I was selfish wanted my wife to give up what she wanted so I could get what I wanted.

King David goes on in Psalms "Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you
       while you may be found;
       surely when the mighty waters rise,
       they will not reach him.

Like David God has revieled to me in order for me to survive (and you also I might add) I need God and his word to guide my path to keep me out of trouble in he future. Does this mean I will have no more trouble? now way. But it will keep me out of a lot of trouble I creat for myself.

God tells us in the end of the 32nd chapter of Psalms.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
       I will counsel you and watch over you.

 ⁹ Do not be like the horse or the mule,
       which have no understanding
       but must be controlled by bit and bridle
       or they will not come to you.

Let God direct our path.

Thu, Nov 17th - 9:00PM

Mirror

Today reading in the book "It's not about Me" by Max Lacado I was reading the chapter on God's self promotion. Max tells if God had a staff meeting in the morning he would ask his associates How can I show my glory today? That is all God wants to do is show his glory.

I hear people say God is egotistical for wanting to be worshiped and show off his glory. Max Lacado gives this analogy If your boat was sinking would want the captain to yell out and say "look at me follow me I am know what is best I know where the life boats are and how to use them" or would you want him to shut up and let you drowned in peace.

Personaly I want a God that cares for me enough to show his glory to call me in from drowning. I thank God for calling out in my life at this time to rescue me because I can life without my wife but I can not live without God.

I NEED HIM EVERY HOUR

Tue, Nov 15th - 9:06AM

Man of God vs. saving marriage

Let me say first of all the true desire of my heart is to become the man of God I need to be for the glory of God and God alone. I now know after years of fighting under my own strength to be a man of God I need to trust God to do a work in and for me that only he can do.

For many years I was (and would never have saw it in myself) a legalist. I tried to please God because I did not drink, smoke, I was against abortion, I was for one man one woman marriage all the rilght things I thought was enough. I could have told you that it was grace alone and could have preached a sermon to prove it. This kind of life lead to a inner turmoil that ate me up inside made me angry because Christianity did not work. This lead me to think God was not all powerfull. God was playing a crule joke on me.

This whole crash in my life is God loving wake up call. I feel stupid that it took a tidal wave to wash over my life for me to wake up but im am not alone in that boat. All I have ever wanted to do is please my God but I tried to do it in the wrong way. All I had to do is give him the only thing he did not own "MY HEART".

Now that he had woke me up and opened my eyes I am returning to my first love, God not my marriage, not my religion but God, he is my all in all. If my marriage is the price I have to pay for returning to my first love then okay. All I want is for God to be glorified. If my marriage is restored great, others will see God. If I go thru this divorce with dignity and in a godly manner better for my wife children, and others will see God at work. Either way God gets the glory.

"To God be the Glory Great things he has  done."

Mon, Nov 14th - 9:18AM

prayer

While I was reading in the book of Luke I read the account of when Jesus was praying in the garden and ask "let this cup pass me"(cup meaning his upcoming tourture on he cross) but he went on to pray "your will [father] not mine be done".

I have not counted all the versus in the Bible but It seems too me Jesus spent more time parying than healing or preaching (maybe not preaching) but his life which we as Christians should emulate contained a lot of alone time with God in prayer.

I think if we would use this one two punch our prayer life would be dynamic. The one two punch being: spending quality time every day alone with God just like Christ did and praying his will not our own.

In James 4:3 he tells us aour prayers are not answered because we ask out of our own wants and lusts. We have the wrong attitude and our heart is far from him it is full of pride and selfishness just like Adam and Eve in the garden.

That is where I have been for the last six months. I have wanted my marriage to be saved for me not for God or my family. Yes this sounds bad but I was bad. I now truly feel I could let my marriage go if that what it take for me to be the man of God I need to be.

I WANT GOD TO BE GLORIFIED IN EVERYTHING I DO.

Sat, Nov 12th - 7:36PM

What is worth more

What is worth more my marriage or my relationship with Christ. I now know God Says "YOU ARE" Just me that is what Christ came to earth and lived and died for.

I want everyone to know I love my wife and I am sorry for how stupid I was. I was one of those christians you read about talk about and know, the ones who say with their mouth I love God but their heart is far from him. Like King David I was after God but did not want to go very far until his baby died then he saw his sins. I pray and seek every day for God to "create in me a clean heart" In the past I prayed for a clean heart but I was not willing to seek and obtain what God wanted to give me.

Please pray for me to keep on keeping on. To continue to walk the walk and let my walk due most of the tlking.

Thu, Nov 3rd - 8:49PM

The love chapter

In the past year people have told me to read the love chapter First corinthians 13 I said to myself I know what it says. My wife and I have a picture of it on our wall. Well last night I sat down and read it.

⁴Love never gives up.

    Love cares more for others than for self.

    Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

    Love doesn't strut,

    Doesn't have a swelled head,

    ⁵Doesn't force itself on others,

    Isn't always "me first,"

    Doesn't fly off the handle,

    Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

    ⁶Doesn't revel when others grovel,

    Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

    ⁷Puts up with anything,

    Trusts God always,

    Always looks for the best,

    Never looks back,

    But keeps going to the end.

   I have lived very little of that in my marriage. I do not blame my wife for seeking a divorce. But I know God can change me and help me on the road back to what I once was. God has shown me in the past month what a jerk I was to my wife. I was a complete fake. I WILL CHANGE WITH GOD'S HELP

Wed, Nov 2nd - 10:39AM

comments

Thanks for the comments on my last post. Marsha thanks for the prayers. Ross I found a new church that has a recovery group for anger and other problems. I talked to the pastor and I will be hooking up with a man who will help me stay on track.

Lee, I am glad you got a smile. You know in the past week I have been treating my wife the way I should and she got to smile also. We even had a laugh together. Even if we never get back together I still want to see her laugh and have the best possible life she can. Because that is what God's wants for her and if I can help God's plan then that is a good thing.

Keeo me in your prayers I need to became the man of God I need to be and I have a ways to go.