Fri, Sep 29th - 10:17PM

Hey,

This may only make sense to me. If so please just ignore it.
My problem has been discouragement. Several tough things have happened lately. I just haven't had the strength to come to God, I needed Him to come to me.

I think He was withdrawing a little to help me grow. I have wrestled with some of these frustrations for a while and gotten over my angers, only to have them return again. I thing he didn't want me to just ignore the problem this time. I think he wants me to go deeper and find a solution. Its like a prent finally deciding not to help his child, but to let him open the door himself.

I think the advice that I would give from this ( and I realize that I didn't even try to give enough information here to let anyone help) is to keep tyring to do very small things that please God. I didn't have enough strength to do a study of Philippians, but I did just manage to blog. That told me there were some people here who cared. As soon as I took a small step, God took two or three. Two of the people that I have been dying to see were finally there. One even came by to surprise me.

I haven't "gotten the victory" yet. I still feel frustration just under the surface. I don't feel like I have found any solutions. But I think that I have started finally.

Thu, Sep 28th - 1:03AM

Every place that I turn to for help is blocked. Anyone that it would make me feel better to talk to is missing. The hostile people are still around. I don't have the will power to do all the right things. I've fallen into some bad habits. Things keep going wrong.

This chorus struck me tonite.

Third Day \ Take My Life

How many times have I turned away
The number is the same as the sand on the shore
But every time You've taken me back
And now I pray You do it once more.

Chorus:
Please take from me my life
When I don't have the strength
to give it away to You Jesus

How many times have I turned away
The number is the same as the stars in the sky
But every time You've taken me back
And now I pray You do it tonight.

Thu, Sep 7th - 11:27AM

Hey

I have been, and will be going away for a while to sort some stuff out.

As for the last posts, I can not, should not, and will not be leaving my (short for God's church which I attend) church. It just sounds good sometimes.

Jon

Thanks Lois for missing me.