Sun, Sep 23rd - 8:42PM
I posted some Rich Mullins lyrics in the last post. Here is another of my favorite songs. It seems that I like him even better now that I hear that he wasn't very popular. I like the idea that there is a place in the Church for us jerks. Not that we should simply be jerks. But maybe if I am a jerk before Jesus I will still be a little one after. Knowing Jesus doesn't perfect us (in this life) it just makes us better than we were. This song shows his attitude a little. He is a little bit of a jerk. Like me Elijah Rich Mullins The Jordan is waiting for me to cross through My heart is aging I can tell So Lord, I'm begging For one last favor from You Here's my heart take it where You will Rich Mullins This life has shown me how we're mended And how we're torn How it's okay to be lonely as long as you're free Sometimes my ground was stoney And sometimes covered up with thorns And only You could make it what it had to be And now that it's done Well, if they dressed me like a pauper Or if they dined me like a prince If they lay me with my fathers Or if my ashes scatter on the wind I don't care But when I leave I want to go out like Elijah With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire And when I look back on the stars Well, It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park And it won't break my heart to say goodbye There's people been friendly But they'd never be your friends Sometimes this has bent me to the ground Now that this is all ending I want to hear some music once again 'Cause it's the finest thing I have ever found But the Jordan is waiting Though I ain't never seen the other side They say you can't take in The things you have here So on the road to salvation I stick out my thumb and He gives me a ride And His music is already falling on my ears There's people been talking They say they're worried about my soul Well, I'm here to tell you I'll keep rocking 'Til I'm sure it's my time to roll And when I do But this one is his true heart. He knows that he is saved only by grace. Hold Me Jesus
Well, sometimes my life Just don't make sense at all When the mountains look so big And my faith just seems so small So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf You have been King of my glory Won't You be my Prince of Peace And I wake up in the night and feel the dark It's so hot inside my soul I swear there must be blisters on my heart Surrender don't come natural to me I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want Than to take what You give that I need And I've beat my head against so many walls Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees And this Salvation Army band Is playing this hymn And Your grace rings out so deep It makes my resistance seem so thin You have been King of my glory Won't You be my Prince of Peace
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Wed, Sep 19th - 11:33PM
Rich Mullins died in an accident 10 years ago. I learned yesterday that he wasn't well liked in the music community. That he was often moody. It made me like him evenmore. He had an obvious passion for God, but (or maybe because) he didn't have all his act together. Rich Mullins If I Stand There's more that rises in the morning Than the sun And more that shines in the night Than just the moon It's more than just this fire here That keeps me warm In a shelter that is larger Than this room And there's a loyalty that's deeper Than mere sentiments And a music higher than the songs That I can sing The stuff of Earth competes For the allegiance I owe only to the giver Of all good things So if I stand let me stand on the promise That you will pull me through And if I can't, let me fall on the grace That first brought me to You And if I sing let me sing for the joy That has born in me these songs And if I weep let it be as a man Who is longing for his home
There's more that dances on the prairies Than the wind More that pulses in the ocean Than the tide There's a love that is fiercer Than the love between friends More gentle than a mother's When her baby's at her side And there's a loyalty that's deeper Than mere sentiments And a music higher than the songs That I can sing The stuff of Earth competes For the allegence I owe only to the Giver Of all good things And if I weep let it be as a man Who is longing for his home
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Wed, Sep 19th - 9:53AM
I didn't remember that James attached such significance to perserverance James 1:2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. 9The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. 10But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business. 12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
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Mon, Sep 17th - 10:31PM
Ok, so I'm an idiot. Today it was finally cool enough to start walking around the golf course on my lunch again. As I started up I remmebered that it had been a long time. These walks are always prayer time for me. I always try to keep a prayerful/conversational attitude. I started thinking about how I used to walk before and pray passionately about our church and that God would help us find His will. And Unity. It suddenly occurred to me that I had asked passionately for those things, and I meant it. Maybe God was giving them to me. If, while I was praying for "my" church more than a year ago, God had said "Sure I'll fix it. But I'll need you to loose a little face and be in a position to start over. From the beginning. So I can use you." What would I have said? I would have said, "Great. Do it. I can take it." And I would have meant it. But since God didn't tell me first what He was doing, I'm ready to quit. He didn't consult with me. Tell me the plan. I'm not saying that I'm ready now to be the hero. I probably would have expected that before my humbling year but not so much now. But maybe this was part of the big plan. Maybe I am just a small trigger that makes someone else act but maybe this was simply a necessary part of the answer to my prayer. Of course all that could be true. Now all I need to figure out is what is my next part in this, if any?
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Sat, Sep 8th - 12:28PM
Hey, After 16 years of service to our present church, we are trying a new church tomorrow. What are the chances that we will find a unified, loving church? "I know several pastors who are seriously struggling deeply with the church and as a result their faith. I know even more people who are just walking away from the whole church and Christian enterprise. Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to inflate a balloon with a huge hole in it. Often I feel like we’re still putting on a poor show, a tragedy. Scratch it all and start over. That’s what I think. I recently received a thoughtful comment from another blogger. I checked out her blog and discovered that she had begun as a devout Christian, but through a series of attempts at running a kind of chat-room for Christians, she decided that she just couldn’t be a part of all that crap and eventually became agnostic and now a kind of universalist. Whatever she is doesn’t matter to me. What matters is how she got there: beaten and wounded by the church and the people in it. I’ve been thinking about the story of the Good Samaritan: in sermons we hear different angles on who represents us in the story. Sometimes we are the different people who pass the wounded man by. Sometimes we represent the inn-keeper who will take care of the wounded man. Sometimes we identify with the wounded man himself. Sometimes we are compared to the Samaritan who actually helps the man. I have an idea: how about we compare ourselves with the people who beat him up and robbed him and left him for dead? I’m seeing it all over the map. Not just strangers, but friends and family of mine. I know more people wounded and damaged by the church than those who have benefited from it. And the people who seem to benefit from it are mostly the brutal beaters." (Quoted by Bill Kinnon. See the link below)
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Thu, Sep 6th - 9:39AM
Hey I have been busy. We dropped C'Anne off at Azusa this weekend and have been helping our two"adopted" kids get moved to Orange. Things seem to be going great for all of them. We will miss them. A lot. Thank God Joel is around still for us to parent. We also took a couple of days off and relaxed. I was a little discouraged with the writing stuff here so I am just reading for a while. The very minor critiques weren't a problem. The encouragement was great. Its that it inadvertantly caused some strife and I CANNOT deal with causing more strife right now. It feels to much like church. I know it wasn't the writing. It just lost a lot of the fun for a while. I'm not offended or angry. It will be Ok. Instead, here's a post from Erica Haub (see links below) I was thinking about this issue as a Christian, and I realized, wow, what a perfect act of service, what a perfect expression of our gospel it is to give blood. It is anonymous: okay, maybe you get a special little sticker to wear after you do it, but for the most part it is certainly not about any glory or recognition! It is good stewardship: it is a sharing of your resources; a new way to live simply, even, by not hoarding more than you need! It is most likely a cross-cultural act: lines of race and ethnicity, gender and economics are crossed! And ultimately, it is an act of mercy, compassion, and generosity that allows for us to enter into an individual’s pain and suffering, and provide care and healing and relief. It is quite simply a way for us to choose the path of the Good Samaritan rather than the avoid/evade option of the Priest and the Levite. So, here is my challenge: wherever you live, please consider taking the time to make a donation of blood, or better yet, consider how you can help mobilize others to do so as well. Churches should be the first place that people are active in giving this gift, should they not? As I prepare to give birth again in a matter of weeks, the issue remains quite present for me in my mind. So please, go and give blood and think of me and my sweet little girl who still has a mommy around, and the many others whose lives are saved by this “missional” act.
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