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  • You are here: Blogs Directory / Family / Dont Be A Stepmom Welcome Guest
    Dont Be A Stepmom
          What God Told me about being a Stepmom.

    Wed, Jul 15th - 12:13AM

    Dont be a Stepmom

    Hello it's me again just thought I would do a little bit of venting, Talk about our life and how we got through it. See my Husband who was the main supporter (Financial Supporter) became disabled in 1990 see he was at work one day and noticed that he could not see out off his left eye all he was seeing was flashes of light, and pure gray, So he drove home after work (at least 15 Miles) when got got home he told me something was wrong with his eye so I called his eye Dr which told me to get him in ASAP when we arrived the Dr took him in quickly, we were told he had a detached retina, caused by thinning of the membranes, and scar tissue from a previous laser surgery, well 5 surgeries later we were told he would never see out of that eye again and in fact we were going to have to drive to UCLA Medical center to have his eyeball removed as it was now dead, I Told my husband that I was going to seek another Dr for a 2ND opinion, this new Dr told us that what should have been done was peeling of the membranes, then the buckle surgery and maybe the gas bubble, he did have the buckle and gas bubble 2 times the the 1st Dr removed his vitreous gel and tore through the pupil, her removed the lens and he was supposed to put silicone in place of the vitreous gel but instead he let the eye shrivel up and die, anyway this new Dr did all that he said needed to be done and to this day my husband still has his eye, He may not have his vision in that eye which was his good eye, He is now legally blind and was put on social security in 1990, he was only 32 yrs old, He had worked since he was 15yrs old, needless to say we went through so much, He felt like a no good bum, and like he was unable to support his family, meanwhile I was a part time worker, I never wanted a full time Job as I had 3 boys to take care of so I only worked 3 , 4hour days a week, So now I was left having to get a full time Job because we needed Insurance for our boys and us, I also became the only driver in the house as he ended up blind and unable to drive, I had so many emotions going on in my life and my family, My kids were not used to me being gone until 5:30 pm, my husband was Legally Blind, Unemployed, unlicensed, with three boys 1 6yr old and 2 10yr old, that were used to me helping them with home work, having snacks ready for them when they came home, etc. with all these things going on in my home how could I add the the pressure of my husband by complaining about what I was going through, All I could do was cry when I was alone, I thought I was going to go crazy, The only thing that helped me was the Lord Jesus Christ, Mathew 28:18 Jesus approached and , breaking the silence, said to them, All authority (all power of rule) in heaven and on earth has been given to me. amplified version. Psalm 11:1 In The Lord I take refuge (and put my trust),psalm 7:1 O' LORD my God , in you I take refuge and put my trust: save me from all those who pursue and persecute me, deliver me. Each time I felt depressed or like giving up I would pray and read gods word, It got to the point where I became dependent of the lord and so did my Husband I found us getting closer to God. and we have learned without God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit we are nothing and can't do anything right. My point is when every thing in your life is going wrong you need to Let Go and Let God.

    Labels: Cast your Cares on the Lord

    Hello, I married a man that had a son from a previous Marriage, his son was 5 months old, mine was 6 months old when we met, We started dating on his son’s first birthday, the roller coaster ride began, when the weekends came we would pick him up, at first he would act like a brat by the end of the night he would stop and be such a loving child to me and my heart would just melt, I would pray before we picked him up because I did not want to be his step mom I wanted to be his mom. In other words I did not want him to ever feel like I have the stepmother from H___ after all it was not his fault who his parents were or what his mother or grandparents thought of me, it went on for around the 1st yr and 1/2 after that time god changed the way I felt he told me to show him (the child) that I loved him for who he was and not to treat him like a stepson and to watch what would happen, I did this and you would not believe the change that took place, I was able to show my husbands son (with another women his former wife) the same love that gave to my own son, it was actually like having twins, I dressed them the same, I took them every place with me, With Jesus Christ all things are possible I have heard that term for years and I can truly say I understand it. After 4 yrs we had a son together and that started another form of jealousy from his ex wife, she thought that he would forget about their son, needless to say he started acting out for a while and of course this was another trial, I had to go to Jesus Christ again, and of course he helped me again, eventually we got through it and now we have been together for 27yrs and all our son’s know that they are our son’s, Actually people that have met us never know that we are a blended family in fact when his son brought his wife over for the first time when they were dating she had no idea that I was not his biological mother and I never felt like his step mom, at his wedding his mother actually thanked me for taking him in and loving him when she could not but I also was offended when she called me the best step mom in the world as I never even thought of him as my stepson or me as his step mom, You see his mother left him and he ended up living with us through his JR High yrs and High School yrs, He did not here from her for a few years, We did not have any idea where she was at, and there were so many nights that he would come to me crying that he was worried about her, so I would get up and we would pray for her, I would stay with him until he fell asleep, and other times he would cry and ask why does his mom not love him like I loved him and his brothers, and of course I had to tell him that she did love him but was having so many problems at this time and just did not realize what she was doing to him. I could have bad mouthed her but that would have only hurt him not her and honestley I never wanted anything bad to happen to her, to this day I still find myself praying for her, and even for my ex husband. And now I get to reap the rewards because I have the honor of being grandma to his three kids and there is no better joy to me than when those 3 beautiful little kids look at me and call me grandma, they hug me, they tell me they love me, I will always remember when his first child, my first Grandchild was born I never new I could love a child that I did not give birth to, I can honestly tell you that I LOVE MY SON AND MY GRANDKIDS with all my HEART. I am Truly Blessed. All of you step mom’s out there if you are having any kind of troublewith your (step kids) or ex wife’s, First of all you need to pray for god to help you and give you the heart of CHRIST, to show you how to not be a step mom to his kids and to help you to be another mother to them, Remember his kids are his kids and he loves them, If he is worth anything at all he will take care of and spend time with them, and if you truly love him then you want him to be happy, Don’t You? also you need to pray for his ex wife, you see if she is happy then she will leave you and your family alone, Think about it if your kids have a step mom wouldn’t you want her to treat them with love, compassion, and, honesty? Remember treat others the way you want yours and yourself to be treated, and do unto others as you want done to yours and yourself because what goes around comes around be it good or bad and I say I would rather have good done to me and mine. well good by for now.

    Labels: Let Go and Let God

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    About Me

    Name: Dolores Marin
    ChristiansUnite ID: dmarin1464
    Member Since: 2009-07-15
    Location: Bakersfield, California, United States
    Denomination: Christian
    About Me: Married, 3 Sons, 6 Grandchildren, Sunday School Teacher, Praise God in all things.

    July 2009
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