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  • You are here: Blogs Directory / Personal / Thoughts on Life Welcome Guest
    Thoughts on Life
          What are we if we cannot think? What have we become if we refuse to think?

    Mon, Nov 24th - 2:25PM

    More thoughts on marriage by a Single guy

    Marriage has scared me in many ways. As a single guy, I want to marry the woman God has in mind for me. I fervently believe that God orders our steps. That being said, I do believe He has someone in mind for me and I for her. It is my prayer that I will seek His guidance and direction and eventually find her. Marriage is scary in that I believe it's a lifetime commitment to her. I've heard it said that marriage is a covenant with her before God. Awesome weight of responsibility there.

    Marriage is scary in that divorce appears to be a readily used option as a way out. I've partaken of Christian singles online dating sites. I've read through profiles that people have put up. It shocks me how many people get divorced because they grew apart or didn't have the same interests. ??? What ??? Growing apart is not a good reason for divorce. Get a grip, do something. It was interesting to note, people divorced but remained friends. I know it's not a scientific study, but it does indicate we don't try hard to make things work.

    I know a Christian blogger who made the following post on his blog site. I want to share it because it was poignant and relevant to this post of mine.

    What do you do for date night?

    In the Martineau house, every Thursday night is date night. We started this a while back and we do our best to faithfully keep it. It is important for the health of our relationship. We usually don't go out anywhere because of finances but it is OUR night together. We do things like play games, watch TV/movies or just hang out. This week we are having two date nights! Tomorrow night we are actually going OUT for a date. Wahooo! Some of our friends from the church are coming over to watch the kids (David and Roselyn - you ROCK!:) I am very excited about this since it doesn't happen that often. We are going out for dinner and then we are having a movie night at the church (we are watching "The Ultimate Gift.")

    Do you have a "date night"? If so, what kinds of things do you do on it? Please share! :)

    Shooting the Breeze by Kevin Martineau

    Here's a comment to his blog:

    We don't always get a 'date night' as such but I try to be extra romantic/creative one day a week. Last week I did a choose your own adventure treasure hunt where my wife had to choose between multiple options at every stage and each stage added something extra to do that night. For instance, at one stage she had to choose between a massage and me writing and then reading to her a love letter.

    This week I have wrapped presents for her and am giving them to her throughout the day. We don't have money to buy gifts but I did things like pick my favorite outfit of hers and I wrapped it up and asked her to wear it for me. It may sound corny but when she knows I am trying to be romantic, it becomes an affirmation of how much I love her and how I like the clothes she wears. It makes her feel noticed and special without having to go buy new things all the time.

    I was impressed by the candor and openness of these to guys.   Somebody tell me there are more guys doing stuff like this.  Somebody tell me there are more ladies who likewise try to add to their marriage.  I know I'm single, but I do watch and listen to those around me.  I know I'm single and don't have a clue about real life.  At least that's what was intimated to me when I mentioned this to a friend over dinner one night.  Marriage is hard... LIFE is hard.  God didn't promise a cake walk, but He did place a high value on marriage and keeping it holy.  My previous post, I mentioned that 3 of the Ten Commandments relate to or talk about marriage in some fashion... a fourth could apply as well depending on one's definition of adultery.  That tells me a lot... 40% of God's Ten Commandments says He places a really high value on marriage.  As I write this, the thought of killing comes to mind.  Divorce kills a marriage... it destroys a family... it wounds each of the participants... maybe a fifth commandment could be applied.

    Be bold guys.  Love your wives like there was no tomorrow.  Wives do the same.  Not only are your kids watching and learning how to treat their future spouses, but singles in the church are affected as well.

    Comment (1)

    Thu, Oct 23rd - 10:42PM

    Straight Talk About Marriage (Part 1)

    Marriage is a hot button topic these days.

    "Marriage… is the civil status of one man and one woman united in law for life, for the discharge to each other and the community of the duties legally incumbent on those who association is founded on the distinction of sex." 

    Black's Law Dictionary, dating back to 1891

    “Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman.”

    President George W. Bush

    One does not have to be a lawyer or a politician to know that the "institution" of marriage has been around since the dawn of time itself.  I'm sure Adam would have filed for a marriage license if he could have.  We will have to suffice ourselves with a "Whoa man" when bewildered, he woke from his slumber to see God's creation for him.

    As can be seen, this article was written from a Biblical perspective.  My international relations professor urged us to quit looking at the world with ethnocentric glasses.  Because I am a Christian, I look at life through Bible-centric optics.  I firmly uphold that there has been a sense of right and wrong / good and evil instilled in us by our Creator.  Unfortunately, sin entered the world through Adam, and man was fully corrupted, as were his views on right and wrong.

    Things got despicable, so much so that God destroyed all life (outside of Noah's Ark) on this planet with a Flood.  Afterwards, God used the descendants of Noah to begin again with regards to the human race.  In the days just prior to the Flood most of mankind lived their lives as they saw fit, God was in absentia so far as they were concerned.  One could argue that in society today, we are doing our level best to do the same again, and our lifestyles are becoming more and more corrupt.  After the Flood, God established a relationship with Abram, and through him, the nation of Israel was born.

    I will not go into further history of the Jews, but truth be told, God's relationship with Abram extended down through to them.  As they left Egypt and the birthing of a Judaic government was formed, God gave them a set of laws to live by.  They were called the Ten Commandments, and I believe they firmly illustrate the importance of marriage to God.  There on Mount Sinai,  Moses received three commandments that dealt directly with marriage:

    The 5th:  Honor your father and mother.  God could not have more clearly identified marriage as the basic family unit of one man and one woman.

    The 7th:  You shall not commit adultery.  This one reinforces the fifth, implicitly demanding or requiring the respect of marriage.

    The 10th:  You shall not covet your neighbor's wife.  With an air of finality, the tenth cannot be more emphatic in its stating the importance of marriage and that it involves the two sexes.

    Three out of ten indicates that God took marriage seriously and wanted the Jews to as well.  To be honest, in light of the seventh command, one could argue that a fourth commandment could be applied as well.  According to Dictionary.com, adultery is "voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse."  Using their definition, it can be inferred that having marital relations with another man's wife is in fact stealing from him.  The 8th Commandment would therefore be violated.

    Today, people argue that the 10 Commandments are religiously fundamental to Judaism alone.  They believe that we are not bound to them.  It seems that if they believe in the 10 Commandments, then they would have admit to believing in the God who gave them to Moses and the Nation of Israel.  I would argue that for quite a measureable amount of time we have conformed ourselves to them.  Like it or not, it is my ardent opinion that we have "adopted" them in fashioning our legal structure.  They are fundamental to defining the basic principles of law.  The 10 Commandments have given us a plenary point of reference to maintain and govern society.

    Comment (1)

    About Me

    Name: Chris Kostedt
    ChristiansUnite ID: mangoman
    Member Since: 2008-08-27
    Location: San Diego suburb, California, United States
    About Me: I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God. I believe that he was born of a virgin through an act of the Holy Spirit. He lived a sinless life. Took the sins of the whole world upon himself, died an agonizingly painful de... more

    Nov. 2008
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