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Comment List
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Yes, you could expound upon that, but is there a need to? If this is personal expression, you can only be the judge of that. If it is to make a point, is the point made? I think it is. If yu have more to say, say it. If you do not, piling endless words is useless. DO not take the criticism too harshly. Examine it in honesty, enlightened by the ideas that others have put forth. Their advice may be crap. It may be pearls of wisdom. Your task is to take what advisors give you and make sense of it.
Personally, I like it. Even the imagery and the flow of the sentences is soothing. It might be that taking that soothing patern of words, if you can continue to make them flow that way, could heighten the effect. Does it increase the value of it? Only for one willing to spend the time to read it...
Just my thoughts,
Mel
2006-09-07 01:10:32 Posted by Mel ()
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Strange thought: Wasn't Cain the gardener?
Mel
2006-09-07 01:13:23 Posted by Mel ()
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Not bad, but I would have liked to see more of "you" come through. Knowing how much you enjoy gardening, I failed to see the passion in it. Writings often come alive with passion. If you were writing about something like computers, I would think it is fantastic, but you enjoy gardening....... make me see just how much you enjoy it.
Just my thoughts
God Bless
2006-09-07 04:25:02 Posted by Lee ()
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