Fri, Jun 19th - 10:37AM

Strange, I thought I had posted yesterday. I guess I was wrong. I can not seem to get this blog set in my mind to do daily. I am keeping up with my bible study, but I can not seem to remember to do this part.

Well, next on my bible studyis Matthew 3:1-12 where John goes to prepare the way. It took me awhile to get through that bible study, and truth be told I am still not quite done with it. At the moment I am waiting for Mike's grandma to call with some scripture that will explain the end of the studt. I understand what it means to be baptized with the Holy Spirit, but I don't know what it means to be baptized by fire. So until I can get the asnder to that the rest of my study is put on hold.

Other then that, we are just kinda running around here today trying to get ready for the kid's vation. they are leaving tomorrow to go visit family for most of the summer. They will be spending 2 weeks with my mom and dad and then going on to my sister's house. from there they may go to my in-law's or they may just spend a few days with them. But then I think the end of July they will go back to my mom and dad's and then back home in the begining of August.

Time to go get them all ready to go.

Wed, Jun 17th - 7:46AM

I have not posted for a few days because I seem to have forgotten to put it into my new routine. I finished the first bible study that I started in Mark, but now I have started my own with Matthew. So far it is coming along. I have copied the passages into a word program, and then I am taking my study one section at a time. After each story/section I am writting a short devotional and a few questions to try to help cement parts of the story in my mind. This is going to take me a long time to just get through the book of Matthew. I want  to go faster and get more done so that I can possably share it with others, but I don't want to rush it either. I don't want to get burned out like I seem to do on everything that I start. So I am going to take it steady and pray every day that God keeps giving me the hunger for him and his word.

Sun, Jun 14th - 10:05AM

Well...I am tired of searching the web for a site that will give me a bible study, devotional and Juornal/Blog all in one. So I am going to work on starting my own. I am starting with the Book of Matthew. I have Copied the whole book of Matthew into a word program on my computer and I am breaking it up into daily studies. Each day will be a different story, i.e Day 1 Geneaology of Jesus, Day 2 The Birth of Jesus the messiah, etc. My study will have the Bible in the NIV already there, questions to help make me and others think and remeber what the reading was about, then a short devotional to maybe help people understand a message that is there in the scriptures..and to make people think about what is going on in the reading. It looks like this is going to take me a long long time even just to work my way through Matthew. Once I have a decent amount of studies done, I will see if I can find someone to colaborate with and then see about starting a web site. I know absolutly nothing about setting up a website, so I am going to have to get help with that also.

Well time to get everyone rounded up and off to church. Looks like my husband is going with us again this morning without even being asked. God does answer prayers!

Sat, Jun 13th - 7:51AM

Well this morning was the end of Mark Chapter 1. Jesus healed a leper. This stidy and devotional has pointed out that in not doing as instructed by God can hinder his work. When Jesus healed the leper he was told to tell ONLY the priest of the healing, but the leper told everyone and Jesus was mobbed by people and could no longer enter cities to preach. No matter how hard things might seem..we need to trust that the Lord knows best and do as He says. We can not possably know His reasons for what he tells us to do, but we need to trust that His plans are more important then our own thoughts and desires.

I am so proud that I finished this bible lesson. I have never been able to stick with something like this. I guess this is the right time and way for me. Now I have to see where the next bible study is going to take me.

Fri, Jun 12th - 7:57AM

Good morning!

Today's lesson is March 1:35-39

I am truly glad that I am not only doing this bible study, but that I am reading the devotionals that are going with the verses that I am studying. While the study is teaching me about what is happening in the scriptures, the devotional is explaining and giving me things to think about. Mark 1:35 Jesus gets up early and goes out to pray and spend time alone with God. this is what I have been trying to accomplish daily with my bible study and devotional time. Sometimes it does not quiet work out that way since my computer is in the living room and the family is starting to move at the same time that I get up. Maybe I just need to start getting up an hour earlier. I had been considering this, but I was feeling like getting up early before anyone else did to do my devotional and study was like I was trying to hide what I was doing. But now I realize that it is not that I want to HIDe..it is that I want to be alone with God. I want to listen to my music, read my bible, read my devotional, and write my blog without being interupted with the never ending questions and needs of my family. I think tomorrow I will start getting up an hour earlier.

The next part of my study that made me think was from Mark 1:37-38. The versus didn't make me think They found Jesus and said, "All the people are looking for you!" Jesus answered, "We should go to another place. We can go to other towns around here. Then I can tell people {God's message} in those places also. That is why I came." I was the devotional yet again..."Knowing our mission in life helps us clarify our daily commitments and center our efforts on the things God has called us to do." I have not found my exact mission in life yet...and I am praying that God will open my heart and mind and show me what he wants for my life. What I fear however, is that he will do this before I am ready. I would feel really akward being called to do something that I don't have the knowledge to even DO! Is He going to call me to preach and reach out to others when I have no clue what I am talking about? Well...above all else..His will be done in my life..that is all I ask..is that the Lord gives me the wisdom and strength to let go of my life and let Him take control. God knows better then I do..even if something seems so very hard and painful..He knows what is best.

Thu, Jun 11th - 8:06AM

Today's lesson was Mark 1:29-34 where Jesus and his deciples go to Peter's house and find his mother-in-law sick and in bed. Jesus heals her so comletly that she is able to get up and serve them. This made me think...not that Jesus healed her, but that Peter had a mother-in-law. It makes me wonder who his wife was, and how or if she ever had fit into this picture. Where was she that she was not there to wait on them instead of her mother? How did she feel being left alone with no husband and no income while he followed Jesus? Did they have children?

Looking back on my past lessons, where the four desiples he has so far have all left their jobs and families..it is said that they left fathers..it is said in a rounded way that one had a wife that he left..why does it not mention the women and even children that were left behind? What became of themwithout their husband's and fathers? I am sure that God took care of them. If there had been big problems there would be some passage int he Bible that would be some sort of testment..like..Lord..I followed after you and look what has happened...since there is nothing that I know of like that about the desiple's families, I can only assume that they did not overly suffer from the loss of the man of the house.

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Wed, Jun 10th - 1:59PM

And welcome to another day! LOL

Well today has been really busy..I was able to do my bible study this morning, but had to wait until now to finish with my devotional and my blog. NOW I hope I can get some relax time in and meditate over my lesson.

Today's lesson was Mark 1: 21-28 when Jesus goes to the temple and teaches and he also cast a demon out of a man. I am sure if I had lived at this time..I would have been shocked, amazed, and probably very afraid to hear and see such things. I would like to say that I would have put down everything and left my family just as Simon(Peter), Andrew, James, and John did, but I honestly think I would have been to afraid. Even now I don't think that I could just walk away from my family..I would have asked him to let me raise my kids first..THEN I can leave them to follow. I don't think I could have left my family...a job yes, but my family..I really don't think I could. 

In my devotional todat it says that "we should obey him(Jesus) and follow his example of sacrafice." I am not sure that I can agree with all of that..Yes we need to obey him, and even sacrafice if he asks it of us..but That statement that it made sounded as though that person belives we should strive to sacrafice. I can't agree with that..it reminds me of cults that abuse and mutilate themselves to prove their devotion. We should not be striving to sacrafice..but we should be willing to sacrafice if it is asked of us. I am just happy that God does not ask us to sacrafice as in the old testment...or when he told..(I dont remeber who) to build an alter and sacrafice the man's own son. I would not have been able to do such a thing....I don't think I know of anyone that would have been able to do something like that.

Well...I guess I must conclude that I really didn't care to much for how this lesson and devotional played out. It has shown me that maybe I am not all that I should be in my walk with Christ. Does my family really mean more to me that He does? Or could I really turn my back and walk away from them if he asked it of me. I just know that my heart would be broken to leave my family..AND it would be broken if I didn't do as the Lord asked. BUT,...now that I think about it..I would follow him....I would be to afraid not to follow the Lord.

Tue, Jun 9th - 4:49AM

Well it is another restless night for me, so I decided I might as well use my time well and work on today's bible study. Today's bible study really made me think..it was Mark 1:16-20. It teaches us that we need to put following the Lord FIRST above job and family. And then my devotional really struck me about following despite family..here is part of what is said.."There is a cost to following Jesus. Some people won't understand. Some of those who won't understand may even be in our own families......Some we love will not follow with us. However, our hope and prayer is that their reluctance will only be temporary and that through us they will come to know the Jesus we follow. The first step, however, is to follow ... no matter the cost!" This is so true for me, and I need to take these words to heart.

If ever I had any doubts about God hearing prayers, those doubts would have been shattered today. My family had been really struggling with money problems...we have been waiting for a pretty large tax return that was not due to come in until the middle of July, and we are even still waiting on a return fromt he state. With every day that went by we were going deeper and deeper into debt..we have been a hair's breath from our utilties being shut off and possable loosing our home. I have been praying all weekend for some relife..some way to ease this burden. Lo and Behold....I got a LOT of good news today(well yesterday now)...2 of the bills we have been paying monthly are finished and we won't have that payment any longer..AND the income tax that should not have been here for a month showed up in the bank...If I had not been sitting down when I called the bank to check our balance..I would have hit my knees for sure..I could not help but start thanking God loud and clear...I think my kids thought I had gone insane.

 Such a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I called and paid all of our bills up to date and will take care of rent later today and even pay for July rent. I was even able to help a needy freind..I called a friend to share my good news only to find she was starting to sink like we were..so I picked up the phone and paid her electric and gas bill. I thought it was the least I could do to help someone in the same situation I was in with the gift that the Lord has given my family. God's answer to my prayers not only saved my family, but helped my friend too...God is so great!

Well even before all of this good news, I had a very nice talk with my sister-in-law today. She and I have never been really close, but I am hoping to try to fix that. I think we talked on the phone for over and hour..and I shared my new walk with her. I am thinking that maybe I will invite her to do my bible study with me..and we can talk about it and share our thoughts on it. MAYBE I can even get my mother-in-law to do it with us, and the three of us can share in it..even though my mother-in-law lives out of state. Maybe we can have our talks online or something..maybe open up our yahoo messenger and have a bible study together.

LOL..I can hear the birds are all waking up outside..and I still have not been to sleep. I guess I should shut this computer off and try again.

Mon, Jun 8th - 10:34AM

The start of something wonderful.

Since this is my first blog, I am sure that it is going to be long...so if anyone reads this..bare with me...lol. AND sorry about spelling and grammar. I am dyslexic and have a hard time with those things....but whish is worse, to blog badly, or not to blog at all? OH..and I also might jump from one thing to another and seem really random in my thoughts..hahaha..let's just face it, I am a mess.

I started my walk with Jesus again yesterday. I am trying really hard to walk carefuly and not run headlong into a tree along the path...lol. I always seem to do that. I reafirm my faith and end up triping and falling, and every time I fall it seams harder and harder to get back up. I pray for strength and patience to walk this path and let noone hold me back. I seem to always cave under presure. My husband is not a christian....or rather he has taken a very very big fall. He was saved before we were married, but since has decided that he no longer belives. I have kept to the same belifes I had before we got married. Even then I told him that it was a decision that he had to make on his own. It is not something I can force him to do, beg, him to do, or even do for him...this is something he has to do on his own. All I can ever hope is to be strong in my own walk and lead by example. BUT I have a very hard time doing that, because when I start on my path...he tears me down. He says that these are just "phases" that I go through. But he does not realize that I am always trying to pray and trust in God...I just hide my light under the perverbial basket.

We have moved a lot in our married life and I don't like going into strange places..like churches that I don't know and be alone with people I don't know and no freinds around. I also have a hard time finding a church where I feel like I belong. I can't just go to any church and sit down and listen...there has to be something more there for me. I need to be moved..I need the message to mean something to me. I finally took the step this time though. We moved to this area almost a year ago now, and I just yesterday tried a church. I am glad to say I really liked it, AND I even got my husband to go! I sort of begged him to go with me...my birthday was friday, and we could not afford to do anything to celebrate, so I told him that it would be his gift to me. I know I probably should not have done that, but I was afraid and wanted him with me. Shocking of all..I think he might have actually gotten something out of it. He actually sang along some, and listened to the message, he even was supportive at the end. The pastor called everyone to the front to reaffirm their walk and even though he didn't go up he told me to go..and that he would not hold me back. That meant a LOT to me. I wish he would have come up with me, but his knee and leg were hurting badly I think and he didn't want to walk...(he is dissabled and has a very hard time getting around). I could see in his eyes though..that he could feel the Lord reaching out to him. Maybe he said his own prayers right there in that pew. All I know is that I am praying that he will KEEP thinking..until he finally decided to walk beside me on this path.

 Well after church I came home and decided to start a bible study...I found one online and even searched and found a devotional that is going along with the study. It took me awhile to find everything that I wanted, and I guess since I was putting so much work into it and it was taking a lot of my time yesterday..I think it sort of freaked him out. He asked me if I was going to become a "Bible Thumper." I hate to say that I got defensive and said yeah...and that I was tired of him tearing me down every time I tried to reaffirm my faith. I hope that I didn't put out any spark that may have been lit in services yesterday. He told me once, that he is afraid that I will reaffirm my faith and then leave him because he does not share God with me. I can see his reasoning to a point, but if he really thought about it, we said our vows in chirch before God and our family. Divorce is not something that the Bible condones...so unless my life or my kid's lives were in danger, there would be no reason that I would leave him.   SO.....now it is monday, and he is back at work..and I can do all of my searches and set up anything I feel I need for my walk wth Jesus, without him worrying about it. And by the time this weekend rolls around I wont be spending hours and hours researching and trying to find the things I want. Instead I can spend an hour or so in my prayer, studies, and meditations. Call my mother-in-law if I have any questions about my studies (I had to do that yesterday..lol), and write my thoughts and such here.

ANYWAY...I started my bible study yesterday. I found my bible study at http://www.biblestudylessons.com/mark/index.php . I am starting at the begining....which would be the book of Mark. The lessons even have questions after each section..the site has a test that once you finish the whole lesson you can go put your answers in. I have not tried that part yet, because, well, I have not finished the lesson..lol. this lesson is broken down that it will take me 7 days to do the book of Mark.

My divotional I found at http://www.heartlight.org/wjd/mark_archive.html . I like it because it is all with the book of Mark. I do have just a little hard time with it, because the devotional is broken up in smaller parts than the bible study, so I have had to read 12 devotionals in the last 2 days. I don't know if that would seem like a lot to anyone else, but is a lot of information for me to absorb and think about at one time. I would break it all up and do my study in the morning and devotional in the evening, but I don't think that I would remember to do my evening stuff, and sometimes the devotionals make me think and answer some of the questions I may have had about the lesson. Maybe once I get used to doing it, it won't seem like so much. What would be really nice..is if I could find something that gave me the bible study and devotional all in one. What would be even better would be a site that would give me that AND the blog...I wonder if there is anything like that out there.

OK..well I guess that is enoguh for now....to be continued...LOL

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Mon, Jun 8th - 9:14AM

Welcome to your Blog!