Wed, Dec 18th - 12:51AM
Barely
Barely..
December 17, 2013 at 11:43pm
I can barely recognize it anymore.
It's so faint
so distant.
It lingers back there,
somewhere.
I don't know why.
What's it hanging on for?
Everything in this life has proven it wrong........
But I can hear it.
Like straining to hear that voice in the distance-
not sure if it even exists, but knowing it does.
Don't you realize that an unbroken promise isn't real?
Don't you see that this isn't working?
AHHHHH!
I just want to scream---
scream at everything.
Scream for all the pain
and
confusion.
Scream for all the loss
and
abandonment.
Scream for the little girl within me
who only wants to be loved for who she is.
Who only wants a soft hand
and a tender word.
Who longs to be held
in the arms of compassion.
Can you hear it?
I know you don't feel it, but can you hear it?
I know everything says it's a lie
life SCREAMS
ITS A LIE!!!!!
but it lingers still....
It refuses to die.
It tells me to wait.....just wait a little longer
it becons me to hang on.
But I can barely hear it.
...and I grow more weary with each passing second...
I don't know why you bother...
but please
don't stop.
Comment (1)
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Tue, Dec 17th - 11:16PM
Heavy
My eyes stay heavy with tears..
a despair so deep,
so controlling....
Promises forgotten-
hope...faint
The only end in sight,
the only option
is an end I've fought for years.
But it's an end that must be ...
Pain
I know it well
I fight with it every second of every minute of every day
Longing and lack
---locked and chained in a place with no escape.
This is not meant to be
None of it ever was-
sin and selfishness made it so
now there's only suffering.
Death is my only hope,
and I so long for it.
I long for His arms around me.
I long to feel the softness of his robe against my cheek
I long for His love
afraid I'll never have it,
afraid I'll miss it
Afraid I've done all of this just to fail at the last
--to trip just before the finish line
Fear
it holds me close
My soul is so heavy
so very heavy
My heart is broken
My mind is worn
My body hurts
My strength is gone
My love wanes....
I will wait for Him,
He is my only chance.
The enemy wispers that it's not true...
that my Father doesn't hear me---
doesn't want me---
won't forgive me---
is sick of me like everyone else is....
doesn't care..
but He is all I have,
and even if all of that's true,
I'll hang on anyway.
Comment (0)
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