Thu, Aug 24th - 10:35AM
Seeing progress
Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."
When the youngest child, Libby, came to us she was unable to walk very well, knew very few words and was very lethargic. Libby was taken to the hospital on the day that we were having our oldest foster son Jon's birthday party. She looked very jaundiced and had bruises on her back. That is the reason that Children and Youth decided to pull the children from the home and placed them with us. At the time, she was diagnosed with failure to thrive and she was only 17 months old at that time. Because of the diagnosis, Children and Youth sent her case to an early intervention group for possible help. Early intervention is a group that helps children ages 1 - 3 years old with developmental deficiencies get services to help them grow and with all of the issues that she had, Libby sure seemed that she was going to need them.
None of our children had really been exposed to church or the Christian community very much before they came to us. They would attend on special occasions, baptisms and dedications, or on the major holidays, Christmas and Easter. While Missy and I were in Africa, the trip had been planned long before the younger kids came to live with us, my mother-in-law sent the kids to a local vacation bible school to give them something to do. The kids loved it and continue to sing the songs that they learned and now are having alot of fun going to the kids program at our home church.
Missy and I both knew that we would have to give these kids all of the love and instruction that we could and that they so desperately needed. I got to see some of the fruit of that work both yesterday and today. Last night, the Early intervention group came and assesed Libby and said that she will not require any services because she is doing so well and that there are some areas that need work, but that she is right on track for a 22 month old. This morning, Auggie and Cheyenne were playing house. When it came time for bed, I heard Auggie praying the prayer that Missy and I pray for them every night. He has also made it a point to let everyone know that we can't eat until someone prays for the meal. Again, I don't know what the future hold and whether these kids will be returned, but I pray that the lessons that they learn here will go with them all of their days. I pray peace and love for all in this world. Have a blessed day.
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Tue, Aug 22nd - 5:51PM
Conundrum
Today has been a fairly trying day and I am having a problem dealing with things. As any of you parents know, summer is a very trying time as the kids are off and are having trouble finding things to occupy their time. Unfortunately, I am oncall at work and can't take them outside so they are all together in close quarters. This, inevitably, has led to some arguements. I must admit that I have lost my temper a few times and raised my voice at the offending parties. We all require some extra grace at times and I guess today was my day. I know that it is just the way that the kids are and that they don't know any better but it still upset me. That got me thinking about the fine line that we have to walk between disciplining our kids and being too harsh.
In Proverbs 13:24 it states "He who spares the rod hates his son" but in Ephesians 6:4 it states "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord". I came to the realization some time ago that I can't expect my kids to live the way that God wants them to if they don't know His commands. I tried to get my oldest son to learn more by researching the Word when he misbehaved and showing him what the Lord said about his behavior but that didn't work too well because he would just shut down his mind. I need to get back to it, though, because hopefully some of it will sink in through osmosis or something else. Finally, I have learned that everything has to be tempered with love. I remember being spanked as a child and now know that what I recieved was to teach me that what I was doing was wrong and to try and keep me from going down the wrong path. Those were different times and I now try other methods such as rewarding the kids for doing the right thing and only giving time outs when they doi the wrong thing.
I am reminded daily when I look at the news of people who may have been too lenient or harsh with their children and now society is having to deal with the results. Just check out all of the robberies, gang violence and other crimes occuring today. Kids are screaming for some kind of structure and love in their lives. The best thing that we can do as Christians is to raise our kids according to the Lord's ways and let our kids be examples to other kids and hopefully that will show them how much they need Jesus in their lives. I pray that we all would step up to the plate and be the parents that He wants us to be. Without that, there is no hope for our society and our kids. Thanks for listening and have a blessed day!!
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Mon, Aug 21st - 10:41AM
Good news and Good times
Good morning and greetings in His name. God is so good. Over the weekend, we got the news that our current house had sold and that our offer on the new house had been accepted. The house had only been shown 3 times and we recieved 2 offers. The Lord sent the right people to us and we are grateful. Now the work really begins. For the past couple of weekends, we have taken the kids camping.
The kids enjoy going to the campsite because there is a pool and they get to be out in the woods. Missy and I really enjoy watching the kids play and goof around in the pool. It's also alot of fun watching the younger kids grow as they learn how to swim. I can't imagine not having these kids around. I know that there is always a possibility that they could be sent back to either of their birth parents. The hardest part about being a foster parent is that you have to deal with the kids when they come back from visits with their birth parents.
I understand that the kids need to keep their relationships with their birth parents but sometimes the visits seem to be counterproductive. We are asked to prepare to have these kids permanently, and that is something that we would love, but at the same time prepare for them to go back to either mom or dad. That paradox is sometimes hard to deal with and causes frustration and sadness at times. I am relying on the Lord, so whatever happens is OK because I know that He already has everything worked out. I have vowed to love these kids as much as I can while I have them.
Knowing the situation that the kids come from, I want to shower them with all of the love and affection that I can muster. I am so glad that the Lord has brought these kids into our lives and can't wait to see how they turn out. It is so great to hear them singing along to the worship songs on the CD they got at VBS. They are all very affectionate and want attention whenever they can get it. Even when the baby soils herself, she is so cute because she just enjoys interacting with Missy and me. Have a great and blessed day and may the Lord grant you peace, mercy, grace and love today! I will talk to you later if the Lord is willing and grants me some more time here on Earth!!
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Fri, Aug 18th - 10:34AM
Good morning and let's be thankful that the Lord has given us a new day. As I've mentioned earlier, I am a foster parent to 6 children and an adult with MR issues. Each day is filled with new challenges and experiences. If anyone had told me before that I would be a parent of a 2 year old at 39, I would have said that they were crazy. Now that I'm doing it, I can't believe how much fun it is.
It is so funny that the things that we don't like in others are the things that we hate the most about ourselves. I see alot of myself in my 15 year old son, Jon. He's cocky and arrogant and a smart alek as well. When I was his age, I had alot of the same traits. Because of this, I know where he is headed and am trying to keep him from making the same mistakes that I did. Because he is 15 and thinks that he knows it all, he can't see this. I'm sure that at sometime in the future that the fog will lift and he will realize what I am trying to do. My 8 year old, Zach, has started copying Jon's behavior, much to my dismay. He is constantly rolling his eyes when I try to correct him that I wonder how he can see where he is going :). Jon has started complaining to Missy and I that Zach's behavior is annoying. We always redirect him to look at his own behavior and he always is astonished that is what he looks like.
Having these children in my care has made me look at things the way that the Father does, in some ways. When one of my children does something wrong, I ask the Father if that is what he sees and the answer is always a loving Yes. I also get to have those moments that makes my heart melt because they want to hug me or spend time with me and, thankfully, the Father's answer to the same question is always a loving Yes as well. It is just amazing the amount of love that He has for us. I pray that we all would be given all of the love that He has for us and patience, mercy and grace for those trying times. Hoping that you have a blessed day.
Chip
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Thu, Aug 17th - 9:46AM
Fixer Uppers
My wife and I are in the process of buying a new home. We have to do this because our current home does not have enough space for the whole family. We have found a house that will fit our needs, but there are problems. The house is an old farm house that was built in 1910 and it shows. The house has old paneling that was popular in the 1970's and doesn't appear to have been updated since then. Consequently, alot of work will need to be done to make the house look better.
I am no stranger to living in older homes. The house that I lived in when Missy and I first started dating was an older house as well. I have learned the hard way that when there is paneling on a wall, it is usually there for a reason. It was usually put there to cover up a flaw in the wall underneath. Drop ceilings are usually there to cover up problems as well. One of the funniest stories that I have from that house is when Missy discovered that there was wainscoting underneath the drop ceiling in the kitchen. She was so excited and asked that I remove the drop ceiling so that we could scrape and paint the wood underneath and restore it to its original glory. After doing this, we discovered exposed wiring and holes in the ceiling, which needed to be fixed before we could sell the house. I am going into this new house with my eyes wide open knowing that the work that needs to be done will be hard but that the finished product will be worth the effort.
I have to say that I am not looking forward to doing this work, but if it is taken one room at a time, it is something that is managable and doable. That brings me to the point of this entry. I am so happy that God is willing to take on fixer uppers. As the bible tells us, He takes up residence in our hearts. The conditions of our hearts are not the most desirable when we come to know Him but He is willing to roll up His sleeves and do the work to make our hearts a place that is suitable for His presence. The work may take years but He is patient and gracious and more than able to finish what He starts.
Missy loves watching those shows on HGTV where the crew will look at houses that someone has renovated and showcase them. I think that the Lord also loves to watch the transfomation of our hearts and is looking forward to seeing the finished product of His work. Just like I could have walked away from this house that needs TLC, the Lord has every right to do the same with our hearts. I am so grateful that He looks at me for what I can be and not what I am. Because of our sinful natures we are all just like old farm houses in need of touch ups, but because of His love we can be transformed into shining showplaces and truly be a place that He relishes and loves to reside in. Let's allow this to live for him and make us willing to be transformed into what He would have us be.
I pray that we all can live in peace and that He would shower all of us with His blessings of peace, wisdom and love. Until next time, have a blessed day and always remember that Jesus loves you!!!
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Wed, Aug 16th - 11:42AM
Welcome to my BLOG
Welcome to my blog. I am a happily married man with 6 foster kids, 2 of which should be adopted soon, and an adult with MR issues living with me. I hope to update this on a regular basis with my thoughts on being married, raising kids and just life in general. Raising foster kids has its own unique challanges and someof those are set up by the rules that need to be adhered to. Follow meand my wife on this journey and hopefully our stories and experinces can help someone else. I truly believe that we need to strengthen each other and rely upon others in the body of Christ for support and love. Have a blessed day and I hope to hear from you soon.
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Name: Chip Gaumer
