home church we chose to join.   After some prayer and heavy conversations, we decided we would stay where

we are.   I love the pastor and I get a lot out of the sermons.   The Sunday School Classes and Bible Study 

Class Wednesday nights are the times I grow really weary of going there.   I have to drive over 40 minutes to

get to the church, so I have to leave extra early to ensure I get there on time due to traffic and other time constraints.

I am still wrestling with our decision, but I have had to learn subjection to my husband in all things.  Bless his

heart, he is being dealt with by God and I am doing all I can to ensure that the Lord still has a chance at my

husband.   He is a trucker, so he is gone quite a lot.   He will home next month for about 6 days straight.  The

distance and time away puts such a strain on my marriage, but by the grace of God we have managed to stay

married.

Just last year we separated and then I came back here and I realized that we did not have God as our center.  I started

to pray for that and it has became a reality slowly but surely.   I am so thankful that we all have the Lord.  Our lives

are so blessed because of Him.

I began to see a change in my life.  I attended a revival at my neighbor's church.  The night before, I called out to the Lord and begged Him to send me a sign or send an angel to me so that I would know that He heard me.  During the church service, the evangelist had a lot to say, it was like the Lord lead him to speak straight to me.  I cannot explain what happened next!  The service had finished and there was an altar call.  We could feel the Lord's Holy Ghost upon us in the sanctuary, it was so heavy, I cannot describe it.  Tears fell from my eyes I could not stop them.   The ENTIRE church went up front in a crowd and bowed down wherever they could and cried out in prayer.   I felt as if I were going insane because I could not stop the tears.  A few women gave me some tissues and I just shrugged and told them I was going nuts.   A woman behind me wrapped her arms around me and told me that God heard my prayers and that He loved me and that I was not alone.  That He was there amidst my tears and fears.   At this point I was merely staring at her in utter shock.   The Lord answered the night's prayer before!  I was dumbfounded by her prophecy or work of knowledge; whatever it is called.   I am a Baptist and this was an Assembly of God church I attended.   

On the way home, I heard a small still voice say to me that I had to hand over all my fears to the Lord and that He would take care of me, all would turn out fine.   He also said to turn over my husband to Him that He would work through whatever problems was in his life.  I have fought so hard against the Lord, I've wrestled with Him.  I've been fearful of many things in my life, at times they drove my life and overcame me.  I've been afraid that if I were to turn over my life wholly to Jesus Christ that I would lose all things that I clanged to the most.  

I can honestly report that since February, I've noticed a change in my heart, thoughts and emotions.  I've had a hunger for the Lord like I've never seen before.   I want and hunger the Lord so much that I leave many churches because I feel as if they are not equal to my hunger for the Lord.   My husband is as desperate for fellowship.  He is a trucker and is out on the road all the time.   I want so much for us to find a church that we both feel equally edified in.  I leave many services frustrated.   What is the most miraculous thing of all, the Lord has saved my marriage!   My husband and I both have a renewed love for the other, the type of agape love the Lord God Jesus Christ has for us all.   

I cannot thank God enough for all that He's done in my life.  I've got the courage and confidence in Him that all my fears will come to nothing before Him, not to worry or let stress get the best of me.   I use Him as my anchor in this life to get me through each day.   I pray daily for my husband that He shall work a good work in him.  The my husband will find the Lord as peaceful and loving as I have.   God will be faithful even when you aren't.  Knowing this, I make it a mission to remember Him, His blessings, His goodness, and His mercies in my life.