Sun, Nov 2nd - 6:33AM
so much to be thankful for today
as i look at my choices in this life i have so much to thank the spirit of jesus christ for,i espically thank him for the way my life has turned out at this point ive met a wonderful man in england,who iam with right now he has asked me to marry him and i have said yes.i will have to get a visa back in the states go through the process and come back,i have no doubt that this is genuinely gods will for my life and i will get a marriage visa come back and get married,my mother is in south carolina with people who are more able to take care of her. my daughter who still ignores me and has unfornatly chosen to not let me be a part of her life is still in texas at school.my boyfriends family loves and accepts me totally,i have met and made new friends here.i met jim in april and came here in july i will get my visa by going back and apply in jan showing the evidence and when it is granted i will come back and get married and live her.i love this country it is so brillent,jesus said that he came to give us life now i feel like he has done excatly that he has given me life not merly existence relying on the self but life relying on him it is bueatiful and brillent im healthy and have never had this much happiness since ive been alive and the best part is we have the same belief in god the same goals in life and the same desires he is 8 yrs older then me. his partner died and he has been alone for quite a while i also was alone for quite a while thank you holy spirit of jesus christ for making this a reality and truely answering the prayer of a very lonely woman who has suffered thank you for new life
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Sun, May 11th - 6:54PM
new lesson?
it wasnt poision oak i thought it was the symtoms looked similer,i had an ordeal at work went to hospital i was dianoised with shingles,it is a virus from chicken pox but stress related illness,and a mild heart attack, i think the good lord is trying to tell me im not going to be around if i dont start taking care of myself,i was also dehydrated,ive been looking for remedies and answers all day.im on a drug called valtrex it makes me sleep big time i dont know yet if this is a perment condition or something that will eventually go away.but unfornatly the hard way i will have to learn to trust,somehow,worry anxiety depression im finding can bring on some serious physical ailments,maybe this is gods way of getting me to repent and change the direction ive been going in,or punishment for past sin,i dont know,but i know this is not good. happy mothers day anyway take care of your self dont learn like iam its to hard this way!
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Fri, Apr 18th - 1:48PM
make your weekend fruitful change things
this weekend i am going to try to do everything possible to heal,i have suffered major depression,posion oak with a sunburn on top,stress which is causing sore throats sleepless nights and emotion problems all the worry and stress and truma of the past has caught up with me and is taking a major toll,so i plan on doing a major bible study,prayer,medicine,relaxation tecniques, and writing in a note book to clarify what my problem is what the root cuase is and how to go about making positive change,i will cook and clean and find something enjoyable if i hav no one to talk to ill talk to god and my cat,but i believe i will be able to find a way to end the isolation from people and alienation form people that i have been put through and when i do ill help keep my sainity.im finding as hard as it is to admit it people need other people and isolation and alienation can cause severe damage emotionally,feelings of dis trust pain over what as happened in the past,unforgiveness of others mistakes has cuased me a great deal of harm so im going to find a way starting now to deal with all of it,somethings cant be changed ok fine but my attitude towards it can be changed,so ill change what i can and leave the rest to god ,it will be an interesting weekend
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Mon, Apr 14th - 2:49PM
cat lessons
im learning alot from my cat,it never worries,never strress out,just always relaxed,and sleeps alot, it dosnt suffer from bleeding ulcers from worry,it dosnt suffer form endless hours of no sleep,it dosnt suffer chonic pain from stress,it takes life as it comes and seems pretty happy.it dosnt require a whole lot just petterd once in a while a roof and food to eat.as i observe and watch him i think i can learn how to let go and let god , i definately wanty what that cat has, no stress no worries and a little joy for a change,sometimes things will work themselves out sometimes it takes a little more work to get past the obstacles but a friend from scotland once told me what wont kill you will make you stronger and i agree with that.how much do we depend on god and how much we depend on the brain god gave us to use is still yet to be determined i have learned that if i dont care and provide for myself no one will,i learned that the hard way.i have learned theres good and very bad people and we are both good and bad to some degree,if oyu cant trust what you can see how do you trust a living spirit like god whom you cant see?one thing is to pick friends a little more wisely some people will calim to be your best friend when they have a motive and arnt honest to start with it sometimes takes a wihile to learn who is trust worthy and who isnt trust worthy friends and people can and have had a very big influence on my life,so has the places that i have traveled to and been in,choices i think is what it is all about today i have chosen to be happy make life worthwhile and enjoy no matter what the obstacles
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Wed, Apr 2nd - 3:09PM
thoughts today
the sun is shining it is another fantastic day the leaves on the trees are just about full,it is spring yay!it means new life maybe for some of us another chance to just start over,spring flowers will soon be out and i can barely wait fo rsummer bbqs picnics camping canoeing and hiking plan on taking a lot of photos this year,my poor kitty samson is almost healed by the grace of god, it is good to bealive today,been watching the preittest birds that come to my tree just out side the window in the room where i keep my computer,the simmple pleasures of my life like bird watching certainly help me to rejoice and be glad in it ,i ve gne over photos of last summer and the years before old memories of good times,family and where it is i want to go in life.there are so many roads to choose from and im finding it a bit diffucult to get on the right path,sometimes things arnt as clear as id like them to be,i only know that when i have needed help the most christ was there,and in different ways helping me just as he is now,god has and is showing me a way but im having alot of trouble seeing it,i know the way to death,spirit death,porn lies booze weird people these are the things that have to be avoided at all costs i finally learned that the enemy of christ has his servants to and they cannot become a part of my life theres no room here for them,it is christ who died rose agin and who has full authority to help me cruicify these longings for spirit death,the longings that everyone has to overcome,i have found that there are terrible influences some on a sub concsience level that im not fully aware of at the time,music,telivision,and people all ave had some kind of infulence on my descisions and life,i dont want humans to shape me i want god himself to shape me by his influence,i have a hard time know ing the truth for lies i have been told and i need gods help with what i believe and dont believe, we all make mistakes in this life that is why i need my reedemer in the first place,i only hope that the spirit of god dosnt make me wait to long it will take a mighty act of god to get me through the thoughts in my spirit which causes all this,esp the thoughts that are leading me away from jesus instead of to him my prayer for the day is that god will do a mighty work in my life that jesus himself will intervene and stop the things that are leading me away from him that he will set me free to love and serve jesus christ only and i ask it in the name of almighty god jesus christ himself by the power of his word amen
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| Nov. 2008 |
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Name: cindy dublin
