The WORD

Commentary

EVERYONE has been hurt by the actions or words of another person and NEARLY everyone is willing to admit it. Perhaps someone you know criticized your parenting skills. Maybe your colleague or coworker sabotaged a project to make themselves look better. Or, maybe you've faced the ultimate betrayal; your partner had an affair.

These wounds leave lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance — but if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays in the end. When you're hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

Everyone faces feelings of unforgiveness at some point in their life. It is said that holding on to unforgiveness is like periodically drinking small doses of poison but expecting the other person to get sick and die. Embracing unforgiveness is literally embracing a cactus.. it hurts you much more than the cactus. However, by embracing forgiveness, you are also embracing peace, hope, gratitude and joy.

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to LET GO! The act that hurt you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive things. Forgiveness may not lead you to forget (no matter how hard you try), but it may lead you to a level of understanding, empathy and even compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness leads to healthier relationships.
Forgiveness leads to greater spiritual and psychological well-being.
Forgiveness leads to less anxiety, stress and hostility.
Forgiveness can lead to lower blood pressure.
Forgiveness can lessen the symptoms of and possibly end decades of depression.
Forgiveness can lower the risk of alcohol and substance abuse.

But more importantly, forgiveness is what God wants you to do. The bible says,

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger... Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you..." Ephesians 4:31-32

And God is so serious about us forgiving each other that the bible says in the book of Mark,

"...When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, SO THAT your Father in heaven may forgive you...” Mark 11:24-25

This verse says that YOUR forgiveness from God is "hinged" on your willingness to forgive. I say "willingness" and not "ability"... because forgiveness goes against our flesh-nature, therefore God has to do a work in us in order for us to forgive... otherwise, we can only pretend. God has to work on our hearts so that forgiveness can be complete.... but He can not begin this work until WE are willing to let forgiveness be our goal.

So... It's OK to reflect on the facts of a situation. It's OK to go over how you've reacted... review your thought process at that time and consider how this combination of events and reactions has affected your life, health and well-being... And now... FORGIVE!

Yes, it's easier said than done.... But you're ready! Actively choose to forgive the person! Walk away from your role as victim and release the control and power the other person and the situation have had in your life!

As you let go of the grudge, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. Embrace FORGIVENESS and move forward!

Thu, Aug 6th - 2:18AM

Mark 11:24-25