Fri, Dec 23rd - 3:43PM

Hey everyone! I never write much when I'm home for holidays. I'm busy baking with my mom around Christmas time anyway. So since I will probably not be blogging for awhile...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Tue, Dec 13th - 11:34PM

It's finals week here at APU so the verses for the day are 2 Peter 1:5-8

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knoweldge, self-control; and to self control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in you knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."

At the moment, I'm working on perseverance.

Mon, Dec 12th - 1:10AM

These are some awesome verses!

Mon, Dec 12th - 1:09AM

C. S. Lewis

Here is my favorite passage from my favorite book by my favorite author. See if you recognize it.

I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about [Jesus]: "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God." That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said [that he could forgive sins against other people] would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on the level of a man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any of this patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.

What I love about C. S. Lewis is his great insights into the world and Christianity. What makes it even better is his total lack of shame in his own genius or apology for stating the truth. He says what I would like to be able to say with a great skill with words beyond what I could ever develop. He is a Christian and a genius. C. S. Lewis is the sole evidence necessary to disprove the common belief in some circles that all "scientific" or "logical" people reject that foolishness called Christianity. With amazing simplicity and brevity he dismisses the whole controversy over evolution and moves on to what he considers to be the entirely logical reasoning behind a belief in a higher power. He is my hero, and I can't wait to meet him in heaven some day.

Wed, Dec 7th - 6:34PM

Denominations

I our attempt to recreate a sense of unity among all Christian denominations, people have been increasingly turning to non-denominational churches and positions. To some extent this solves the problem. It does prevent controversy over differing theological opinions. However, I think there is a better solution. Getting rid of denominations altogether has negative effects as well. It prevents arguements by ignoring controversial issues. Not wanting to offend anyone is all fine and good until it leads to an atmosphere of ambivalence and ambiguity. Non-demoninational churchs can lead to whole congregations whose faith is based on simplified theology that ignores all the tough questions. People who do not really know their own God because no one mentions issues like predestination or theodicy. Non-denominational churches are limited by their efforts to create unity instead of freed.

There is a better answer that does not involve ignoring controversial issues. Instead, it involves communication and cooperation between denominations. As Christians, we are united by our central beliefs in God and Jesus Christ. We can disagree on nonessentials without destroying that unity as long as all Christians are committed to preserving open communication between different groups. Obviously, we have found that cutting someone off because their beliefs differ from the rest of the congregation does not often lead to that someone changing their mind. Even when they do choose to conform so that they will not be alienated, it is usually an outward conformity. The person's heart has not really changed, only their outward behavior. If Christians could actually discuss and explore our different viewpoints instead of ignoring them, then all Christians would have a richer, deeper understanding of God. It would open up every Christian to so many more viewpoints and aspects of our God. In my practical theology class, we considered the importance of context when talking about God. Different life experiences reveal to people different things about God. A person who is oppressed learns of God's peace and provision. A person who is wealthy and prosperous is not going to understand God in the same way. So opening doors between denominations would allow Christians to be exposed to more people from different backgrounds who have different experiences of God.

I agree that we have a huge problem with division in the Christian church. There can be ten churches in one town of all different denominations and only a few will talk to each other. Even if the pastors get together at times, the congregations never mingle. We have to remember that we are all part of the larger Body of Christ and that separate churches do not have to be separate entities. We could organize events for the Christians of the town instead of only the Christians of one particular church. We could have Church sports leagues. We could open Bible studies and minstries to any Christian who cares to come. Bulletins could report all the churches' activities that are coming soon regardless of which church is putting on the event. We could be so much more efficient if we worked together, but that does not mean we have to ignore the difficult questions or the individual differences of opinion. Instead, we should encourage open communication between individuals about these difficult questions and individual differences.

Mon, Dec 5th - 2:16PM

My Passion

I found this in my other blog archieves. That's right I have another blog (it's trumpetwaiterapu.blogspot.com in case you wanted to look), but that's not the point. The point is that when Mel asked me my major., he mentioned that I might not have any clue. Well, I know exactly why I am here and what I want to do with my life. I realized that knowing this information is pretty important in knowing me, so here is what I wrote on my other blog about it.

A child grows up torn in half by two squabbling divorced parents. The child never lacks possessions. Instead the child lacks loves and self-esteem. He feels like a pawn being courted by rival lords. The child becomes a man vowing not to become his parents. He works hard and gets a high paying job. He marries, and his wife has a child. At first it is simple. Feed her. Bath her. Hold her. Play with her. Give her to Mom. Suddenly she’s a beautiful young lady, a most bewildering creature. She’s moody. She’s rebellious. He doesn’t know how to reach her. He doesn’t know what to say. His parents had never talked to him. He resorts to what her knows. He buys her clothes. He indulges her whims. It’s not helping, but he doesn’t know what else to do. He buys her more.

Then she’s gone. She moves out to live with her boyfriend. She gets pregnant. She runs to tell her boyfriend. He freaks and disappears. Her life becomes a nightmare. She never had much of a father. Her child would have none. She can’t do it alone. A childhood friend offers marriage. He says he has always loved her. He will be the father of her child. The child grows. At first it is simple. Feed him. Bath him. Hold him. Love him. Suddenly he’s a young boy. He fights in class and screams at home. They argue about rules, discipline, schools, and gifts. Neither knows what to do. Neither wants to admit it. She thinks about running away from it all. Her little boy throws a tantrum. She thinks harder. One day the husband comes home. "I heard about a family counselor today." She looks at him. Anything is better than this.

Twenty years later her son has a loving wife and two happy children. If we want our children to end the cycle, we have to teach them how to raise them right.

I wrote this story for a scholarship application. They weren't impressed, but then they were democrats and it does discourage divorce and living together. Oh well, I thought someone should read it who might care. This is what I see in our world, and I see very little happing to change it. Our society is disintegrating. Every generation is more lost then the last. Something has to be done, and I want to help do it. This is why I want to be a marriage/family therapist. This is what makes college tuition worth it. This is what makes six more years of school worth it. What are you passionate about?

Mon, Dec 5th - 12:42AM

P.S.

Mon, Dec 5th - 12:37AM

A Dilemma

I just wrote a seven page paper about Aileen Wuornos, the first woman serial killer. This was a woman who had just about every bad thing imaginable happen to her. She was physically and emotionally abused, possibly even sexually abused. She was abandoned by almost every person she ever loved. She was hurt or used by most everyone she met. She was lied to by people close to her. In response, she did just about every bad imaginable. She attacked people. She robbed stores and stole cars. She drank and did drugs. She became a prostitute. She was bisexual. She forged checks. She lied. She threatened. Finally, she murdered seven strangers.

It is likely that Aileen had borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder or both. She meets enough criteria to meet either diagnosis.

My questions are: How much of her behavior is the result of Aileen's childhood and mental disorder(s)? Can she be held responsibly for actions that are results of circumstances outside her control? In other circumstances would Aileen have been a "good" person?

I was reading an excerpt from Sue Russell's book Lethal Intent about Aileen and one line struck me. Russell writes that "[Aileen] knew in her heart that she was a good girl" right after she murdered her first victim. How is that possible? How could Aileen do all these horrible things, lie, steal, kill, and still believe that she is good?

This leads me to the larger issue of people with antisocial personality disorders. These people show no remorse for their wrongdoings. They show no signs of ever having a conscience. Even as children, they ofter maim and torture animals. They seem to be people without souls. How are these types of people created? Did God make people without an awareness of morality? If these people have no concept of sin, can they be held accountable for their sins?

I am afraid this post has been rather disjointed, but I have so many questions right now and precious few answers. I do know, however, that however this works, my God is just. He knows people's hearts, and he is in control. Aileen Wuornos was beloved of God just as much as I am. That is enough.

Maybe this will be clearer in the morning. I'll let you know.

Fri, Dec 2nd - 9:33PM

Talk About Determined!

Jeremiah 25:3 "For twenty-three years - from the thirteenth year of Josiah son of Amon king of Judah until this very day - the word of the Lorde has come to me and I have spoken to you again and again, but you have not listened."

Wow! Twenty-three years and no response. Well, I guess he got a response, after all a bunch of people try to kill him, but that doesn't really make you feel like you're accomplishing something. I've heard of a lot of people who get discouraged because they spend so much time helping other people and no one has ever commented or changed as a result. They will get really involved in a ministry for a year or two and get discouraged because there are no obvious signs of success. Here is Jeremiah, proclaiming the word of the Lord for twenty-three years with very little success. Instead, he almost gets killed. His own people hate him. There are times when he despares. In fact in one passage, Jeremiah wishes that he had never been born. Yet he keeps telling them. He remains obedient to God. Not because he believes that there is something magical about the twenty-sixth year that will make everyone suddenly believe him instead of try to kill him, but because he cannot stop. He cannot hold in God's word. It says in Jeremiah 20:9 "his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot." What would happen to this world if all Christians were so driven?

Fri, Dec 2nd - 2:01AM

Two Comments

I have two things I would like to mention today. First, I learned today that one of the APU students committed suicide a few days ago. We talked about it in my Romans and Galatians class today. If someone hadn't mentioned it, I never would have known. In fact, I don't think that Amy or Megan, my roommates heard about it at all. Isn't that sad? Something so horriblely tragic happens and we just keep on living our lives not even knowing it happened. I don't even know who this guy was. I could have seen him every day on campus and not known it. I will be praying for his family and friends. I hope you will all pray with me. In a way I want him to not have been a Christian. I don't want to think that a person who knew God could be so hopeless. By no means do I think that suicide is some kind of unforgivable sin. All sins are equal in God's eyes. If he was a Christian, then I believe he is in heaven now. I just think it is horrible that someone could know about God and not know that God brings hope to every situation. How could someone spend their entire lives with God and know Him so little? I am not saying this is what happened. I believe that is probably happened at some point with someone. What does that say about the rest of us as Christians? About the church? How could we let someone go to church every Sunday and never really know God? What are we as Christians supposed to do about that?

Second, I found another "nugget of gold" today while I was reading Jeremiah. It said "Does it make you a king to have more and more cedar?" This sounds funny to us since cedars are everywhere, but you have to remember that Israel is a desert and this happened thousands of years ago before trains and airplanes. The cedars had to be transported to Israel from somewhere else and they were very expensive. Cedar palaces were a sign of great wealth. This passage is talking to the king of Israel and it just struck me how insecure we are that we place so much faith in possessions. It sounds so funny to think cedars could make someone a king, but it is not any less ridiculous to think that some green paper or shiny yellow rocks could make someone a better person. Or even worse, that some numbers on a computer screen could make someone more important. I asked myself why God would love people last night. We aren't worth much. We are obsessed with pieces of green paper. We think success means having a big house and a nice car(s). We only care about ourselves. We twist everything God tells us to our own advantage. We always that the easy way out. We have to be pressured and guilted into helping other people. We betray Him in so many ways everyday. We took his beautiful, perfect world and trashed it. So why does He still love us? The answer: He loves us because He created us. My value comes from the worth of my creator. I am important because the most powerful being in the universe and beyond thinks I'm important. I am worth loving because Love Himself chooses to love me. How can a cedar palace compare to that?