Fri, Mar 27th - 2:03PM

her

I go through old letters and cards and see the love that I had for so long. I see the feeling and thought that I put in each and every one. I read through the ones given to me and feel like such a fool. The love and deep feelings portrayed in the pages and cards, they seem like just wishful thinking on my part now.

She is gone.

I cared for her day and night for so many years. I cleaned up after her. Ensured all appointments and needs were met. For her piece of mind I kept the peace, even if others wished nothing but turmoil. I endured the callousness of her family.

Did she ever love me? The things that she did, the things that hurt and continue to ache to this very minute. The burden that she left on her mother. The complete exclusion of me from all that was her.

Now that she is gone I am left with nothing but memories, as it all went to her parents by decree of her last will.

The letters and cards are gone now, all I have are the memories. I just wish they were not tainted as they now have become.

Years of love and complete trust, wasted in a futile effort to be apart of someone's life. I gave one hundred and ten percent of me to the her. She took it, ran with it, now I have nothing.

I was completely faithful to her, through the good and the bad, even through the worst. I was there in each hospital room no matter how long the stay, I even helped push her into the intensive care unit when the nurses could not find anyone else. I was there as the illness took what was left of her, as her mind started to leave and all she could do was scream for help. I was there when others would not come around. When no one would even give her a phone call, not even her own brother, I was there. I held her hand, dried her tears, comforted her, reassured her even though I needed the reassurance myself.

She is gone.

I am still here, me and a little white dog, homeless just a truck and a motorcycle to my name. What is in store for me and this little white dog? There maybe a heavenly plan for the two of us but to me it remains a mystery.

What was once is no more. Things being divided among those that cherish 'things' above people. I will have nothing but memories, if only they were not tainted by what has come to pass.

I turn my face to heaven and ask why. The answer eludes me.

After she had gone I did tell the Heavenly Father that my life was his. He is to take it were he wills, put in my path who he chooses. I have to remain patient and let His plan unfold before me. Please Lord, let me be paying attention.

She is gone and I am still here.

Wed, Mar 25th - 3:27PM

Betrayed