Tue, Feb 28th - 8:26AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Here's the good news: you cannot be alone, even when you think you are. The One who wept over Jerusalem's rejection (Matthew 23:37) and grieved in Gethsemane found even there that his Father was still faithful.* Jim Denison - God Issues *....remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20 (NRSV) 5Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have; for he has said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 (NRSV)
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Mon, Feb 27th - 7:06AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! LITTLE BENJAMIN!
Little Benjamin came running into the kitchen where is mother was working.
"Mom, can I please change my name right now?" he asked.
"But why would you want to do that?" replied his mom.
"Because Dad said he's going to spank me as sure as my name's Benjamin!"
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Mon, Feb 27th - 6:57AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
The heart which feels gratitude is beyond the need of being schooled and compelled to do justly.* The Expositor’s Bible: Genesis p. 32 *8Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. 9The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet”; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 10Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law. Romans 13:8-10 (NRSV)
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Sun, Feb 26th - 8:26AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! CAPS TRADED
I have a friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost. Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click. "Great," he thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. And this one's even better because it locks..."
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Sun, Feb 26th - 8:18AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Because He has Risen, He is closer to you than the breath you breathe. Because He has Risen, He can give you His undivided attention without neglecting anyone else.* *22When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. John 20:22 (NRSV) 11Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers; Romans 13:11 (NRSV)
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Sat, Feb 25th - 10:41AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
INFORMATION ASSISSTANCE: "Information. Can I help you?" "I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please." "One moment, please." Pause. "I'm sorry sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild." "No, no. It isn't a person. It's an organization. It's Theater Guild." "I told you, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild." "Not *Theodore*! *Theater*! The word is *theater*.
T-H-E-A-T-E-R!" "That, *sir*, is NOT the way you spell Theodore."
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Sat, Feb 25th - 10:30AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
God is holy, righteous, just, and wise enough to save by grace through faith without violating His holiness, righteousness, or justice.* *Deuteronomy 32:3-4 (NRSV) "For I will proclaim the name of the LORD; ascribe greatness to our God! The Rock, his work is perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God, without deceit, just and upright is he;
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Fri, Feb 24th - 9:14AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! TINY COLONEL
A guy walked into a tavern and sat down on a barstool. He ordered a beer and a shot glass of whiskey. The bartender was surprised to see him place the shot glass into the pocket of his overcoat. The man proceeded to drink his beer, then reached into his coat pocket and removed the shot glass, empty.
He ordered another beer and shot glass of whiskey, and again placed the shot glass into his coat pocket. Again he removed the glass empty, then ordered another round.
Overcome by curiosity, the bartender asked the man why he kept putting the shot glass into his pocket.
"Oh," he said, "that's for the Colonel?"
"The Colonel? Who's the Colonel?"
The man reached into his pocket and removed a little man, about 12 inches high, dressed in the uniform of a British army colonel. He placed the little man on the counter.
"Is he real?" asked the bartender.
"Sure he's real. Colonel, would you mind walking up and down the bar a little way?"
The little colonel marched briskly a few feet up the bar and turned around, then marched back to where the man sat. "That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen! Can he talk too?"
"Of course he can talk," said the man.
"Colonel, why don't you tell him about the time that you were stationed in Africa and called that witch doctor a liar?
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Fri, Feb 24th - 8:59AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Some years ago, Mother Teresa was opening a new orphanage in New York City when a news conference broke out. A reporter shouted out the question, "How will you measure the success of this?" The tiny Albanian nun turned, smiled into the glare of the cameras, and said quietly, "I don't believe our Lord ever spoke of success. He spoke only of faithfulness."* (Jim Denison, Resident Theologian for the Baptist General Convention of Texas) *2Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy. 1 Corinthians 4:2 (NRSV)
21His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and trustworthy slave; you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’ Matthew 25:21 (NRSV)
10“Whoever is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much; and whoever is dishonest in a very little is dishonest also in much. Luke 16:10 (NRSV)
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Thu, Feb 23rd - 7:57AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
IN TWO EARS: "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy." "Guess I'm no good at math, either!"
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Thu, Feb 23rd - 7:47AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
God’s Grace is accessed through repentance toward God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.* *21as I testified to both Jews and Greeks about repentance toward God and faith toward our Lord Jesus. Acts 20:21 (NRSV)
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Wed, Feb 22nd - 6:41AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
ROSE PLAGUE: An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to inquire after the priest's much-loved roses. "Not bad," said the priest, "but they suffer from a disease peculiar to this area known as the black death." "What on earth is that?" asked the passerby, anxious to increase his garden knowledge. "Nuns with scissors."
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Wed, Feb 22nd - 6:29AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.* – John Quincy Adams *24The sins of some people are conspicuous and precede them to judgment, while the sins of others follow them there. 25So also good works are conspicuous; and even when they are not, they cannot remain hidden. 1 Timothy 5:24-25 (NRSV)
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Tue, Feb 21st - 9:15AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
BIBLE HUNT One fellow was violently tearing through his Bible in a desperate search when a friend came up and asked, "Is something wrong?" "Yes," he said, "I can't remember if the Thanksgiving story is in the Old Testament or the New Testament!
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Tue, Feb 21st - 9:02AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "If I were asked to give what I consider the single most useful bit of advice for all humanity, it would be this: Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life, and when it comes, hold your head high. Look it squarely in the eye, and say, "I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me."* -- Ann Landers *"I have said this to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you face persecution. But take courage; I have conquered the world!” John 16:33 (NRSV) "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that is taking place among you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you are sharing Christ’s sufferings, so that you may also be glad and shout for joy when his glory is revealed." 1 Peter 4:12-13 (NRSV) "My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy," James 1:2 (NRSV)
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Mon, Feb 20th - 7:26AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! LATE FOR CHURCH!
A young girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could to Sunday school. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be ate!"......at which moment she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again, praying, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! ......But DON'T SHOVE me."
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Mon, Feb 20th - 7:18AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.* – John Quincy Adams *24The sins of some people are conspicuous and precede them to judgment, while the sins of others follow them there. 25So also good works are conspicuous; and even when they are not, they cannot remain hidden. 1 Timothy 5:24-25 (NRSV)
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Sun, Feb 19th - 8:31AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! VACUUM PERSUASION
My sister has the courage--but not always the skills--to tackle any home-repair project. For example, in her garage are pieces of a lawnmower she once tried to fix. So I wasn't surprised the day my other sister, Dianne, and I found our sister attacking her vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver. "I can't get this thing to cooperate," she explained when she saw us. "Why don't you drag it out to the garage and show it the lawnmower?" Dianne suggested.
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Sun, Feb 19th - 8:18AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
"It is funny about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the very best you will very often get it."* -- W. Somerset Maugham *"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matthew 5:48 (NRSV)
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Sat, Feb 18th - 9:28AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps difficult and dangerous. So we attach small lights called chemlites to our jumpsuits to make ourselves visible to the rest of our team. Late one night, lost after a practice jump, we knocked on the door of a small cottage. When a woman answered, she was greeted by the sight of five men festooned in glowing chemlites.
"Excuse me," I said. "Can you tell me where we are?"
In a thick English accent, the woman replied, "Earth!"
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Sat, Feb 18th - 9:18AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.* -Henry Adams, historian and teacher (1838-1918) “If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea." Matthew 18:6 (NRSV) *"But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak." 1 Corinthians 8:9 (NRSV)
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Fri, Feb 17th - 8:31AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave."* -- Mark Twain *" Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD." Psalm 31:24 (NRSV) "I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NRSV)
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Thu, Feb 16th - 9:16AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery room with my wife. It seemed like an eternity before the doctor finally announced, "I've got the head now; just a few more minutes." "Is it a girl or boy?" I asked excitedly. The doctor replied, "I don't know. It's hard to tell by the ears."
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Thu, Feb 16th - 8:58AM
It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business*. -Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948) *"And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?" Matthew 5:47 (NRSV)
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Wed, Feb 15th - 9:31AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! A Touch of Home
Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to add a touch of my home state, Kansas, to the wedding. My fiancee, explaining this to a friend, said that we were planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the ceremony.
Our friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly, "It's a good thing she's not from Idaho."
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Wed, Feb 15th - 9:13AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
God’s Kingdom expands every time a person surrenders his or her life to Christ and every time we take thougts captive to Christ and replace lies with truth.* Gregg Boyd Escaping the Matrix p. 22 *5and every proud obstacle raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NRSV)
1I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2 (NRSV)
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Tue, Feb 14th - 9:10AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! PYGMY HUNTER
A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked: "Did you kill that?" The pigmy said, "Yes." The hunter asked, "How could a little bloke like you kill a huge beast like that?" "I killed it with my club." The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?" The pigmy replied, "There's about 60 of us."
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Tue, Feb 14th - 8:55AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY! "At some thoughts one stands perplexed, above all at the sight of human sin, and wonders whether to combat it by force or by humble love. Always decide ‘I will combat it by humble love.’ If you resolve on that once and for all, you can conquer the whole world. Loving humility is a terrible force: it is the strongest of all things, and there is nothing else like it.”*- Fyodor Dostoyevsky, from The Brothers Karamazov *But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; Matthew 5:39 (NRSV) ... "if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads." Romans 12:20 (NRSV)
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Mon, Feb 13th - 10:09AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! CAREER CHOICE!
A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," replied the boy's father. His friend thought for a moment and responded, "That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career." "Well," said the boy's father, "he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
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Mon, Feb 13th - 9:57AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.* -Charles Evans Hughes, jurist (1862-1948) *"I am grateful to God—whom I worship with a clear conscience, as my ancestors did—when I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day". 2 Timothy 1:3 (NRSV)
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Sun, Feb 12th - 5:43PM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! GOOBER 2x4's
A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of them walked into the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check." After a while, he returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
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Thu, Feb 9th - 9:32AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation frequencies. It was his first time approaching a field during the night time. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?" The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!"
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Thu, Feb 9th - 9:20AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."* -Ralph Waldo Emerson *"Whatever your hand finds to do, do with your might; for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going." Ecclesiastes 9:10 (NRSV)
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Wed, Feb 8th - 10:14AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! SHOE COVERUP
One day a man drove his secretary home after she fell quite ill at work. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily. Later, that night the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat. Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That's when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat. "Honey," she asked, "have you seen my other shoe?"
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Wed, Feb 8th - 9:59AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: God will never command us to do something that He will not empower us to do. It is never a question of whether God can, but if He wills. If He wills, then we can, if we believe. Neil Anderson *13I can do anything God wants me to do through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 (NRSV) (Paraphrase Doyle Purifoy) 23Jesus said to him, “If you are able!—All things can be done for the one who believes.” Mark 9:23 (NRSV)
26“So have no fear of them; for nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, and nothing secret that will not become known. Matthew 10:26 (NRSV)
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Tue, Feb 7th - 9:18AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
FAREWELL SONG! There was a woman who spent some months serving God in Kenya. On her final visit to a remote township she attended a medical clinic. As the Maasai women there began to sing together, she found herself deeply moved by their hauntingly beautiful harmonies. She wanted to always remember so she recorded this moment and would share it with friends when she arrived home. With tears flowing down her cheeks, she turned to her friend and asked, "Can you please tell me the translation of the words to this song?" Her friend looked at her an solemnly replied, "If you boil the water, you won't get dysentery."
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Tue, Feb 7th - 9:06AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks.* -Tennessee Williams, dramatist (1911-1983) *"Therefore, my beloved, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, because you know that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58 (NRSV)
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Mon, Feb 6th - 9:02AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
HEAVY HOUSEWORK! Smith goes to see his supervisor. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith," the boss says. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith. "I knew I could count on you!"
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Mon, Feb 6th - 8:45AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Worship which does not beget mission is hypocrisy. We cannot acclaim the worth of God if we have no desire to proclaim it.* John Stott - Daily Thought
*19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
20 and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20 (NRSV)
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Sun, Feb 5th - 8:55AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a virus. One evening my brother came home exhausted from a long day at work. "Did you read the paper?" he asked. "I'm not going in to work tomorrow. I'm calling in fat."
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Sun, Feb 5th - 8:47AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
| Those predisposed to do His will understand what it is, and by the grace of God will do it.* Neil Anderson *17Anyone who resolves to do the will of God will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own. John 7:17 (NRSV)
6I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 (NRSV)
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Sat, Feb 4th - 9:39AM
CELEBRATE MY WIN-WIN SITUATION!
CELEBRATE MY WIN-WIN SITUATION!
I am entering a win-win experience. How I would love to stay here and take every opportunity to extend God’s Kingdom, yet I know to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord in a far better and fulfilling way.
Now is where God lives. We are present with Him now, but then we will experience His Presence in a fulfilling way we cannot imagine.
May God open our eyes to this win-win experience. Pray for the Doctors that attend to me and pray for one another. This experience is a win-win situation that we will celebrate from now on. (MY WIFE KINDLY SAYS IT IS NOT A WIN-WIN FOR HER!)
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Sat, Feb 4th - 9:32AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters' place. They put up a big bold sign which read:
"WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!" Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign:
"WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS" |
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Sat, Feb 4th - 9:26AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
It’s impossible to lose your footing when you’re on your knees.* (contributed by Michelle Purifoy) *Then Jesus told them a parable about their need to pray always and not to lose heart. Luke 18:1 (NRSV)
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Fri, Feb 3rd - 12:51PM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
Two intrepid explorers met in the heart of the Brazilian jungle. "I'm here," declared one, "to commune with nature in the raw, to contemplate the eternal verities and to widen my horizons. And you, sir?" "I," sighed the second explorer, "came because my young daughter has begun violin lessons."
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Fri, Feb 3rd - 12:27PM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.* -Samuel Johnson, lexicographer (1709-1784) Jesus was not afraid He was going to help somebody who didn't deserve it! *“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matthew 5:43-48 (NRSV)
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Thu, Feb 2nd - 7:11AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained 4 new families." The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained 6 new families." The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!
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Thu, Feb 2nd - 6:50AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them. “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Matt. 4:19 “but if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” 1 John 1:7
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Wed, Feb 1st - 9:01AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
A policeman arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree.
The officer rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, "Are you seriously hurt?"
"How do I know?" the driver responds. "I'm not a lawyer."
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Wed, Feb 1st - 8:49AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
(I)t is vital that we trust both the word of God and the power of God.* Jim Denison Forum on Truth and Culture * Jesus answered them, "You are wrong, because you know neither the scriptures nor the power of God. Matthew 22:29 (NRSV)
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Name: Doyle Purifoy
