Mon, Sep 30th - 8:39AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch.
The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives. Marcy confided that there really wasn't anyone special in her life. Heather, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found.
"He's perfect. He's handsome, and last night when we went out to dinner, he said the four little words I've been waiting to hear a man say to me!"
"He said 'will you marry me'?" Marcy asked.
Heather replied, "No, he said 'put your money away'."
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Mon, Sep 30th - 8:32AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "Our patience will achieve more than our force."* -- Edmund Burke
*"My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4 (NRSV)
"And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5 (NRSV)
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Sun, Sep 29th - 8:39AM
A GOD GIVEN DOMINION
In human research, discovery and invention, in biology, chemistry, physics and other spheres, and in all the triumphs of technology, human beings have been obeying God and exercising their God-given dominion. There is no question (at least in principle) of their having behaved like Prometheus, who stole fire from the gods. In their progressive control of the earth, they have not been invading God's private sphere and wresting power from him, still less imagining that they have stopped up the gaps in which God used to lurk, so that they can now dispense with him. It is foolish to draw these deductions. Human beings may not have known it, or humbly acknowledged it, but in all their research and resourcefulness, far from usurping God's prerogatives or power, they have been exercising the dominion God gave them. Developing tools and technology, farming the land, digging for minerals, extracting fuels, damming rivers for hydroelectric power, harnessing atomic energy - all are fulfilments of God's primeval command. God has provided in the earth all the resources of food, water, clothing, shelter, energy and warmth which we need, and he has given us dominion over the earth in which these resources have been stored. JOHN STOTT
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Sun, Sep 29th - 8:32AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
General Amalgamated Industries, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO said, "Wait right here."
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back." Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
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Sun, Sep 29th - 8:21AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: The believer's faith is as valid as its object, which is the living (Christ) and written (Bible) Word of God. With the infinite God of the universe as the object of Christian faith, there is virtually no limit to the spiritual heights that positive believing can take you.* (Neil Anderson 6/4/03)
*"Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;" Hebrews 6:19 (KJV)
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Sat, Sep 28th - 8:45AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes", came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No".
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.
"Is there anyone there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "Why are they there?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle, "They're looking for me."
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Sat, Sep 28th - 8:30AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Because He has Risen, He is closer to you than the breath you breathe. Because He has Risen, He can give you His undivided attention without neglecting anyone else.*
*22When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. John 20:22 (NRSV)
11Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers; Romans 13:11 (NRSV)
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Fri, Sep 27th - 8:04AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther.
He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours he hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he got to going too fast to honk the horn on his bike and he would slow down.
Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes--both going well over 120 mph--blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had 2 Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph.
He then relayed, "And you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10-speed bike honking to pass."
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Fri, Sep 27th - 7:57AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Until you are convinced that prayer is the most effective use of your time, you will not find time to pray!* Provided by Jerry Turner
*17pray without ceasing, 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (NRSV)
James 5:16 (NRSV) 16Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.
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Fri, Sep 27th - 12:20AM
From Victory Unto Victory
When Joshua led the people into Canaan, he did not lead them to victory, but from victory: God said to Joshua, “Every place upon which the sole of your foot shall tread, that I have given to you, as I promised Moses.” So, a Christian does not strive to be victorious, but strives from the victory. The Cross of Christ is the victory from which we work.
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Thu, Sep 26th - 8:58AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! SUBWAY DEOP
The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most necks were craned. One elderly gentleman, however, bent down and picked something up. He then asked, "Did anyone drop a half dollar?"
"I did," answered three men at once.
"Well," said the elderly gent with a smile, "here's a dime of it."
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Thu, Sep 26th - 8:51AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."* -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
*"and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20 (NRSV)
"To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." Colossians 1:27 (NRSV
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Wed, Sep 25th - 6:49AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! CHURCH FEUD
There was a feud between the Preacher and the Choir
Director of The Hicksville Southern Baptist Church .
It seems the first hint of trouble came when the
Preacher preached on "dedicating yourselves to service"
And the Choir Director chose to sing: "I Shall Not Be
Moved."
Trying to believe it was a coincidence, the Preacher
Put the incident behind him. The next Sunday he
Preached on "giving." Afterwards, the choir squirmed
As the director led them in the hymn: "Jesus Paid It All."
By this time, the Preacher was losing his temper.
Sunday Morning attendance swelled as the tension
Between the two built.
A large crowd showed up the next week to hear his
Sermon on "The sins of Gossiping." Would you
Believe the Choir Director selected: "I Love To
Tell The Story?"
There was no turning back. The following Sunday the
Preacher told the congregation that unless something
Changed, he was considering resignation. The entire
Church gasped when the Choir Director led them in:
"Why Not Tonight?"
Truthfully, no one was surprised when the Preacher
Resigned a week later, explaining that Jesus had led
Him there and Jesus was leading him away. The
Choir Director could not resist: "What A Friend We
Have In Jesus."
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Wed, Sep 25th - 6:39AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: When praying, don't give God instructions just report for duty.*
*"And this is the boldness we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14 (NRSV)
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Tue, Sep 24th - 9:10AM
IN OUR ELEMENT
In our element
If fish were made for water, what are human beings made for? I think we have to answer that, if water is the element in which fish find their fishiness, then the element in which humans find their humanness is love, the relationships of love. JOHN STOTT
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Tue, Sep 24th - 9:05AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Life is Big Business because it is God's Business.*
*Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money.” Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13-15 (NRSV)
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Tue, Sep 24th - 8:59AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! UNDERSTANDING SIGNS
Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants' restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), but every so often we get stumped.
Recently my husband Dave wandered off in search of the men's room and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One was labeled "Bronco," and the other was designated "Cactus." Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee passing by. "Excuse me; I need to use the restroom," Dave said. Gesturing toward the doors, he asked, "Which one should I use?"
"Actually, we would prefer you to go there," the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked "Men."
"Bronco and Cactus are private dining rooms."
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Mon, Sep 23rd - 9:41AM
WHO AM I?
Our likeness to God
Those who regard a human being as nothing but a programmed machine (behaviourists) or an absurdity (existentialists) or a naked ape (humanistic evolutionists) are all denigrating our creation in God's image. True, we are also rebels against God and deserve nothing at his hand except judgment, but our fallenness has not entirely destroyed our God-likeness. More important still, in spite of our revolt against him, God has loved, redeemed, adopted, and recreated us in Christ.
JOHN STOTT
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Mon, Sep 23rd - 9:11AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.*
*"And this is the boldness we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have obtained the requests made of him." 1 John 5:14-15 (NRSV)
"who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of letter but of spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." 2 Corinthians 3:6 (NRSV)
"I can do anything God wants me to through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 (Paraphrase by Doyle Purifoy)
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Mon, Sep 23rd - 9:03AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! SIGNS OF S LOMG SERMON
Top Ten Signs You Are In For A Long Sermon
10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.
9. The pews have camper hookups.
8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.
7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.
6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.
5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.
4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.
3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.
2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.
And The Number One Sign You Are In For A Long Sermon
1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only September!
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Sun, Sep 22nd - 8:25AM
A PHILOSOPHY OF MEANINGLESSNESS!
Our generation is busy developing a philosophy of meaninglessness. It is fashionable nowadays to believe (or to say you believe) that life has no meaning, no purpose. There are many who admit that they have nothing to live for. They do not feel that they belong anywhere, or, if they belong, it is to the group known as 'the unattached'. They class themselves as 'outsiders', 'misfits'. They are without anchor, security or home. In biblical language, they are 'lost'. To such people comes the promise that in Christ we find ourselves. The unattached become attached. They find their place in eternity (related first and foremost to God as his sons and daughters), in society (related to each other as brothers and sisters in the same fancily) and in history (related also to the succession of God's people down the ages). JOHN STOTT
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Sun, Sep 22nd - 8:14AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: “One Person who's on your side always, no matter what you do or what the world does to you“... is Jesus Christ.* (Jim Denison, Park Cities Baptist Church)
*What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? Romans 8:31 (NRSV)
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Sun, Sep 22nd - 7:58AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
Jack says: "I can save you a day's work!"
Joe replies: "How's that?"
Jack answers, “Put it off until tomorrow.”
Joe replies, “Then I would have procrastination!”
Jack answers, “I have the cure for procrastination.!
Joe says, :Yeh, what's that?”
Jack says, “Do It Now!”
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Sat, Sep 21st - 4:49PM
ARE YOU LIVING LIKE THERE IS NO PURPOSE IN LIFE?
"Are you living as if you were the product of blind mechanical laws, and as if there were no object worthy of your life and of all the force you can throw into your life? Consider the Incarnation of the Creator, and ask yourself if sufficient object is not given to you in His call that you be conformed to His image and become the intelligent executor of His purposes? Is life not worth having even on those terms? The man that can still sit down and bemoan himself as if there were no meaning in existence, or lounge languidly through life as if there were not zest or urgency in living, or try to satisfy himself with fleshly comforts, has surely need to turn to the opening page of Revelation and learn that God saw sufficient object in the life of man, enough to compensate for millions of ages of preparation. If it is possible that you should share in the character and destiny of Christ, can a healthy, ambition crave anything more or higher? If the future is to be as momentous in results as the past has certainly been filled with preparation, have you no caring to share in these results? Believe that there is a purpose in things; that in Christ, the revelation of God, you can see what that purpose is, and that by wholly uniting yourself to Him and allowing yourself to be penetrated by His Spirit you can participate with Him in the working out of that purpose." EXPOSITOR'S BIBLE, Vol 1, "Genesis", p. 8
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Sat, Sep 21st - 3:46PM
BLESSED WITH EVERY SPIRITUAL BLESSING
Romans 8:28-30 (KJV)
28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. 29For whom he did (First) foreknow, he also did (Second) predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also (Third) called: and whom he called, them he also (Fourth) justified: and whom he justified, them he also (Fifth) glorified.
God is faithful and just to predestinate to be like Jesus those He foreknew, to call those He foreknew and predestinated; to justify those He foreknew, predestinated, called; to sanctify those he foreknew, predestinated, called, and justified, and to glorify those He foreknew, predestinated, called, justified and sanctified. I am the happiest man on earth because of what God has done and is doing and will do for eternity. It's all mine.
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Sat, Sep 21st - 9:40AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
A butcher saw a Lawyer passing by his shop one day, and asked him: Atty., what would you do if a dog came in and stole your meat? Lawyer replied: why? of course, I l make the owner pay for it! The butcher said: If that is so, now you owe me $15 because it is your dog. The Lawyer replied: very well, just deduct the $15 from the $25 you owe me for the advice, I will collect the remaining $10 the next time I pass by here.
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Sat, Sep 21st - 9:26AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: In solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared.* -- Henri H. M. Nouwen
*4Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 (NRSV)
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Fri, Sep 20th - 9:15AM
THE PARADOX OF HUMANNESS
It is part, I think, of the paradoxical nature of our humanness that we are both breath of God and dust of earth, godlike and bestial, created and fallen, noble and ignoble. That seems to be why we both seek God and run away from him, both practise righteousness and suppress the truth in our unrighteousness, both recognize the claims of the moral law upon us and refuse to submit to it, both erect altars in God's honour and need to repent of our ignorance and sin. JOHN STOTT
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Fri, Sep 20th - 9:10AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
A woman was driving her old beat up car on the Highway with her 7 yr. old son, Little Johnny.
She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her. After getting caught in a large group of car's flying down the road she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit.
Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind. She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car.
As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"
Little Johnny piped up from the back seat, "I do! Because you couldn't catch the other cars!"
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Fri, Sep 20th - 9:03AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY! We tend to say that because a person has natural ability, he will make a good Christian. It is not a matter of our equipment, but a matter of our poverty; not of what we bring with us, but of what God puts into us; not a matter of natural virtues, of strength of character, of knowledge, or of experience—all of that is of no avail in this concern.* (Oswald Chambers August 4)
*Zechariah 4:6 (NRSV) "....Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, says the LORD of hosts."
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Thu, Sep 19th - 9:07AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! MONKEYS IN A BAG
A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack.
The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?"
The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack."
The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in the sack, can I keep one?"
The old man replies, "Son, if you guess how many monkeys I got in this sack, I'll give you both of 'em!"
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Thu, Sep 19th - 8:55AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: The central point of the kingdom of Jesus Christ is a personal relationship with Him, not public usefulness to others.* Oswald Chambers - My Utmost For His Hightest - October 19th.
*Matthew 7:21 - 27 (NRSV) 21“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. 22On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many deeds of power in your name?’ 23Then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers.’ 24“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.
25The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock. 26And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell—and great was its fall!”
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Wed, Sep 18th - 6:52AM
Jekyll and Hyde
Who am I? What is my 'self'? The answer is that I am a Jekyll and Hyde, a mixed-up kid, having both dignity, because I was created and have been re-created in the image of God, and depravity, because I still have a fallen and rebellious nature. I am both noble and ignoble, beautiful and ugly, good and bad, upright and twisted, image and child of God, and yet sometimes yielding obsequious homage to the devil from whose clutches Christ has rescued me. My true self is what I am by creation, which Christ came to redeem, and by calling. My false self is what I am by the fall, which Christ came to destroy. JOHN STOTT
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Wed, Sep 18th - 6:46AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! TAXI GRADUATE
A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited just thinking about his future.
He gets into a taxi and the driver says, "How are you on this lovely day?"
"I'm the Class of 2001, just graduated from Harvard and I just can't wait to go out there and see what the world has in store for me."
The driver looks back to shake the young man's hand and says, "Congratulations, I'm Mitch Class of 1969."
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Wed, Sep 18th - 6:40AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY! The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest men of past centuries.* -Rene Descartes, philosopher and mathematician (1596-1650)
*2 Timothy 2:15 (NRSV) "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved by him, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly explaining the word of truth."
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Tue, Sep 17th - 9:12AM
THE BASIC QUESTION
The nature of man (i.e. what it means to be human) is arguably the basic political issue of the twentieth century. It is certainly one of the chief points of conflict between Marx and Jesus, and therefore between the East and the West, namely whether human beings have any absolute value because of which they must be respected, or whether their value is only relative to the community, for the sake of which they may be exploited. More simply, are the people the servants of the institution, or is the institution the servant of the people? JOHN STOTT
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Tue, Sep 17th - 8:55AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! LEROY
Uncle Leroy got a job down at the Broom Factory.
On his first day the straw boss (Floor supervisor)calls ol' Leroy into his little office and says, "You the new man huh? What is yer name?"
Leroy replied "Leroy"
The straw boss says "I don't call anyone by first names. It breeds familiarity and that leads to breakdown in my Authority. I refer to all employees by last names; Now what is Your Last Name!"
Leroy sort of smiles and says, "Its Darling - Leroy Darling!
The Straw Boss said "Now Leroy the next thing........"
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Tue, Sep 17th - 8:47AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY! "The lure of power can separate the most resolute of Christians from the true nature of Christian leadership, which is service to others. It is difficult to stand on a pedestal and wash the feet of those below."* Chuck Colson
*25But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. 26It will not be so among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, 27and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; 28just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.” Matt. 20:25-28
12After he had washed their feet, had put on his robe, and had returned to the table, he said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? 13You call me Teacher and Lord—and you are right, for that is what I am. 14So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you. 16Very truly, I tell you, servants are not greater than their master, nor are messengers greater than the one who sent them. John 13:12 - 16 (NRSV)
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Mon, Sep 16th - 8:56AM
SUBMISSION TO CHRIST
Our primary authority is Jesus Christ our Teacher and our Lord, and our submission to Scripture is only the logical outcome and necessary expression of our submission to him. It is to Christ that we come; but Christ sends us to a book. Not that the book to which he sends us is a dead and wooden letter, or an authoritarian ogre. He bids us listen rather to his own voice as he speaks to our particular situation by his Spirit and through his written Word. JOHN STOTT
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Mon, Sep 16th - 8:49AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
Two Goober hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.
They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk.
But the pilot objected he said, "The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind."
One of the hunters pushed forward, "Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, same weather conditions, and everything. What's with this? We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.
Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. They crashed in the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one Goober said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"
"I think so," replied the other Goober.
"Yep! I think this is about 100 yards further along than where we crashed last year!"
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Mon, Sep 16th - 8:42AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: It is easy to do right when you consider the alternative.*
*"The LORD watches over the strangers; he upholds the orphan and the widow, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin." Psalm 146:9 (NRSV)
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Sun, Sep 15th - 8:00AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
A family of skunks was trapped in a thicket, surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves that were edging even closer. The Mother skunk calmly instructed her young: "Quickly children, let's put our heads together!" After they obeyed, forming a circle, she continued, "Now lets us spray!"
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Sun, Sep 15th - 7:47AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.*
*"And this is the boldness we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have obtained the requests made of him." 1 John 5:14-15 (NRSV)
"who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of letter but of spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." 2 Corinthians 3:6 (NRSV)
"I can do anything God wants me to through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 (Paraphrase by Doyle Purifoy)
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Sat, Sep 14th - 9:20AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! SHAKY HANDS
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
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Sat, Sep 14th - 9:06AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: The hardest person to awaken is the one already awake.* -Tagalog saying
*"Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers;" Romans 13:11 (NRSV)
"for everything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Sleeper, awake! Rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Ephesians 5:14 (NRSV)
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Fri, Sep 13th - 8:49AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Although gold dust is precious, when it gets in your eyes, it obstructs your vision.* -Hsi-Tang
"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and in their eagerness to be rich some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains." 1 Timothy 6:10 (NRSV)
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Fri, Sep 13th - 8:33AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! KNOW THE STATES
The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week.
He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name.
They came up with about 40 names.
He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.
One lad raised his hand and said, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13."
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Thu, Sep 12th - 9:23PM
From Doyle Purifoy's Meditations
Paul's love for Christ in response to the Amazing enabling Grace of God I pray to become a part of my character. Paul, who wrote convincingly that we are saved through faith without works, worked like his life depended on it. The only explanation is that it was Paul's love for Christ that drove him to serve Him.
God is Holy, Righteous, Just and Wise enough to save by amazing enabling grace through faith without violating His Holiness, Righteousness, or Justice.
Intelligence has always amazed me. God is Intelligent. He knows all there is to know. This Attribute of God we call Omniscience.
God has immersed us in His Presence. We call this attribute of God Omnipresence. God can do anything consistent with His Holiness, Righteousness, and Justice. We call this Attribute Omnipotence. God hears and answers our prayers. God is able to give us His undivided attention wwithout neglecting anyone else. (From Doyle Purifoy's Meditations)
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Thu, Sep 12th - 8:28AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! POLITE HORSE
One friend to another, “My new horse is very well-mannered.”
“That’s nice.”
“Yes, isn’t it? Every time we come to a jump he stops and lets me go first!”
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Thu, Sep 12th - 8:20AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "If I had listened to the critics I'd have died drunk in the gutter"* -- Chekov
*"33Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies." Romans 8:33 (NRSV)
"The way of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD, but he loves the one who pursues righteousness." Proverbs 15:9 (NRSV)
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Wed, Sep 11th - 6:49AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE PRETZEL CHARITY
A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each.
Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time and, as he passed her pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but would never take a pretzel.
This went on for more than five years. The two of them never spoke.
One day as the man passed the old ladies pretzel stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel woman spoke to him,
"Sir, I appreciate your business. You are a good customer, but I have to tell you that the pretzel price has increased to 35 cents."
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Wed, Sep 11th - 6:41AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward."* -- Charlotte Bronte
*Colossians 3:1 - 2 (NRSV) 1So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth,
"Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,"
"looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2 (NRSV)
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Tue, Sep 10th - 8:28AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man is without conflict of interest. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man is unselfish.*
*Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Matthew 6:10 (NRSV)
....The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16 (KJV)
Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 (NRSV)
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Mon, Sep 9th - 8:55AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!!
Confucius say: Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient.
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Mon, Sep 9th - 8:45AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: If you want to be like Jesus, do what Jesus does.* Rick Warren
*12Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. John 14:12 (NRSV)
6whoever says, “I abide in him,” ought to walk just as he walked. 1 John 2:6 (NRSV)
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Sun, Sep 8th - 8:25AM
GOD'S PEOPLE AND GOD'S WORD
God's people and God's Word
We can recognize God's Word because God's people listen to it, just as we can recognize God's people because they listen to God's Word. JOHN STOTT
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Sun, Sep 8th - 8:13AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
Her minister told an eighty-year-old woman that, at her age, she should be giving some thought to what he called “the hereafter.” She said to him, “I think about it many times a day.”
“Oh, really?” said the minister. “That is very wise.”
“It’s not a matter of wisdom,” she replied. “It’s when I open a drawer or a closet, I ask myself, ‘What am I here after?’”
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Sun, Sep 8th - 8:04AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "It is not God’s job to make us comfortable, but to make us better."* Tony W. Cartledge
*"So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 (NRSV)
"And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5 (NRSV)
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Sat, Sep 7th - 7:49AM
More than a museum
Scripture is far more than a collection of ancient documents in which the words of God are preserved. It is not a kind of museum in which God's Word is exhibited behind glass like a relic or fossil. On the contrary, it is a living word to living people from the living God, a contemporary message for the contemporary world. JOHN STOTT
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Sat, Sep 7th - 7:44AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
Little Johnny sat playing in the garden.
When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm.
She turned pale. "No, Johnny! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat worms!"
Trying to convince him further she noted, "The mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby worm."
"No, she isn't," said Johnny.
"How do you know she's not?" said the mother.
"Because I ate her first!" answered Little Johnny.
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Sat, Sep 7th - 7:36AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "You can no more separate yourself from your influence than you can separate yourself from your shadow as you walk in the noonday sun."* (George Truett)
*A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold. Proverbs 22:1 (NRSV)
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Fri, Sep 6th - 8:46AM
JOY! FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT!
William Barclay was right: "A gloomy Christian is a contradiction in terms." He added: "There is no virtue in the Christian life which is not made radiant with joy; there is no circumstance and no occasion which is not illuminated with joy. A joyless life is not a Christian life, for joy is one constant recipe for Christian living." (Quoted in Denison' Forum 9/6/13)
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Fri, Sep 6th - 8:36AM
A WORD FOR OUR DAY!
In response to the common feeling that Christianity is hopelessly out of date, we need to re-state our fundamental Christian conviction that God continues to speak through what he has spoken. His Word is not a prehistoric fossil, to be exhibited under glass, but a living message for the contemporary world. It belongs to the market place, not the museum. Through his ancient Word God addresses the modern world, for, as Dr J. I. Packer has said, 'the Bible is God preaching'. Even granted the historical particularities of the Bible, and the immense complexities of the modern world, there is still a fundamental correspondence between them, and God's Word remains a lamp to our feet and a light for our path. JOHN STOTT
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Fri, Sep 6th - 8:29AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! NEW SURVIVOR SHOW
*Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?*
* 6 Married men will be dropped on an island with 1 car and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks
* Each kid plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes.
* There is no access to fast food.
* Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.
* The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them and there is no remote.
* The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves, either while driving or while making four lunches.
* They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.
* The kids vote them off the island, based on performance.
* The last man wins only if he has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.
* If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over again for the next 18-25 years - eventually earning the right to be called "Mother".
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Fri, Sep 6th - 8:17AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: I would rather please Jesus than myself!*
*Matthew 6:10 KJV (10) Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven!
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Thu, Sep 5th - 8:37AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang.
In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook. As it fell, it hit the family dog, who leaped up, howling and barking. The woman's three-year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams. The woman mumbled some colorful words.
She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband's voice on the other end say, "Nobody's said hello yet, but I'm positive I have the right number."
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Thu, Sep 5th - 8:27AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY! God created us for His pleasure not to make us happy!* (Doyle Purifoy)
*Rev 4:11 (KJV) Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: For Thou hast Created all things, and for Thy pleasure they are and were created.
Col 1:16 (KJV) For by Him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in the earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones or dominions, or principalities or powers: all things were created by Him and for Him.
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Wed, Sep 4th - 6:50AM
RISKS
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To place our ideas, our dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
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Wed, Sep 4th - 6:47AM
DOING THE TRUTH
Everywhere in the New Testament God's truth is something to be *done*, not something only to be believed. It carries with it demands, duties, obligations. The evangelical faith radically transforms those who believe and embrace it.
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Wed, Sep 4th - 6:39AM
LAUGHTER\ DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! BANKING ADVICE
The girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.
"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.
"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."
"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake."
"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
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Wed, Sep 4th - 6:34AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY! The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.* -Edwin Schlossberg, designer (1945- )
*"Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV)
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Tue, Sep 3rd - 9:01AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! DOILY BOX
As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it.
For fifty years Uncle Jack left the box alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important.
Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained.
"She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."
Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice.
"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.
"Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies."
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Tue, Sep 3rd - 8:55AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Life is Big Business because it is God's Business.*
*Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money.” Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13-15 (NRSV)
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Mon, Sep 2nd - 9:43AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
A young bride tells her friend, “Paul keeps telling everyone he’s going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world.”
“ What a shame! And after all the time you’ve been engaged!”
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Mon, Sep 2nd - 9:32AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Just as self-confession can be particularly difficult, self-forgiveness can feel almost impossible. But we must. Lewis concludes: “If God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.”* C. S. Lewis quoted in eEpistle.
*9If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (NRSV)
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Sun, Sep 1st - 8:28AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
A golfer is playing a round of golf with his buddies. On the sixth hole, a hole over water, he proceeds to flub nine balls into the water. Frustrated over his poor golfing ability, and about ready to hit somebody, he heaves his golf clubs into the water, and begins to walk off the course.
Then all of a sudden he turns around and jumps back in the lake, his buddies apparently thinking he is going to retrieve his clubs. When he comes out of the water he doesn't have his clubs and begins to walk off the course.
Then one of his buddies asks, "Why did you jump into the lake?"
And he said, "I left my car keys in the bag."
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Sun, Sep 1st - 8:21AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY! We cannot plead ignorance of the law before God. God gave His law to us through Moses, mediated by angels. It our responsibility to learn the law of God!* (Jim Denison, Park Cities Baptist Church Dallas)
*Psalm 1:2 "But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night."
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Name: Doyle Purifoy
