Sun, Mar 31st - 6:56AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! MEMORY LOSS
Doc!” the man yells. I’ve lost my memory!”
“Calm down, sir. When did this happen.”
The man looked at him. “When did what happen?”
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Sun, Mar 31st - 6:46AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Persistent love--like the dripping of water on a rock--can wear away a person's resistance. It's nearly impossible to stay angry with or emotionally distant from someone who unconditionally loves and values you.*
*"Love never faileth" 1 Corinthians 13:8 (KJV)
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Sat, Mar 30th - 9:01AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?”
“Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer,” said little Johnny through his tears. “That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?
“I did!” sobbed Johnny.
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Sat, Mar 30th - 8:54AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to MOVE your feet'*
*17Anyone who resolves to do the will of God will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own. John 7:17 (NRSV)
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Fri, Mar 29th - 6:51AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
My sister landed a good job with an accounting firm, and after a while she got a generous raise.
The day she found out about it, her husband picked her up from work, and they stopped for ice cream.
As they continued home, my sister blurted out, "Isn't it hard to believe that I have a job that pays this much money?"
Just then, she went to toss the last of her ice cream cone out the window.
However, the window was closed, and it smacked against the glass.
Her husband replied calmly, "Yes."
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Fri, Mar 29th - 6:43AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Confession really is good for the soul. God can heal our past, redeem our present, and guide our future.* Dr. James C. Denison
*If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgives us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
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Thu, Mar 28th - 8:36AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, gee, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps and be a doctor! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
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Thu, Mar 28th - 8:23AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
The central point of the kingdom of Jesus Christ is a personal relationship with Him, not public usefulness to others.* Oswald Chambers - My Utmost For His Hightest - October 19th.
*Matthew 7:21 - 27 (NRSV) 21“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. 22On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many deeds of power in your name?’ 23Then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers.’ 24“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.
25The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock. 26And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell—and great was its fall!”
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Wed, Mar 27th - 9:01AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Just as self-confession can be particularly difficult, self-forgiveness can feel almost impossible. But we must. Lewis concludes: “If God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.”* C. S. Lewis quoted in eEpistle.
*9If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (NRSV)
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Wed, Mar 27th - 9:00AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! CONFESSIONS
A man lying on his deathbed called to him, his lawyer, his doctor, and his pastor. "I am going to die tonight," and I want to prove that when you go to heaven you can take it all with you. So to my three most trusted friends, you three of course, I am leaving 50,000 dollars in these envelopes. When I die you must come to my funeral and put the envelopes in my coffin with me." The man handed the three men identical envelopes.
A day later they each received news that, that night the old man had died . So each knew they must go to his funeral and fulfill his death wish.
Standing over the coffin one week later the pastor confessed, " I can't hide what I've done. I took 10,000 dollars from the envelope because the church needed to be painted."
Then as he did so the doctor also started to fidget then finally confessed “I took 30,000 dollars from my envelope because the hospital needed a new wing."
Ten the lawyer said plainly “You bunch of crooks! I wrote him a check for the full amount!"
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Tue, Mar 26th - 9:11AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! MY TIME
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift,
liposuction and tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well look even nicer. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, an ambulance killed her. Arriving in front of God, she demanded,
"I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that ambulance?" God replied, "Girl, I didn't recognize you”
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Tue, Mar 26th - 9:02AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
".....we cannot consistently behave in a way that is inconsistent with how we perceive ourselves. Your attitudes, actions, responses and reactions to life's circumstances are often determined by your conscious and subconscious self-perception."* (Neil Anderson, Daily Devotional from Freedom in Christ Ministries February 5)
*"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee." Proverbs 23:7 (KJV)
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Mon, Mar 25th - 6:47AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!
Married couples, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one a wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof -- the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said, "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me." So the fairy picked up her wand and poof -- the husband was 90.
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Mon, Mar 25th - 6:42AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
A grudge is a heavy thing to carry. (or No matter how long you nurse a grudge, it never gets better.)*
*"Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil." Ephesians 4:26-27 (NRSV)
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Sun, Mar 24th - 7:43AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! WHAT FOLLOWS '10'?
A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well
"Yes! Of course! My pop taught me...even more than 10"
"Good. What comes after three?”
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your erm...dad did a good job. Now...so what comes after...lets say ten?"
"A jack"
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Sun, Mar 24th - 7:33AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
A bell is no bell 'til you ring it, A song is no song 'til you sing it, And love in your heart Wasn't put there to stay - Love isn't love 'Til you give it away.* -- Oscar Hammerstein from "The Sound Of Music"
*8Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him. 10In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us. 1 John 4:8-12 (NRSV)
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Sat, Mar 23rd - 8:59AM
THOUGHT FROM JOHN STOTT
The mainstay of assurance
What we have to ask about the resurrection is not only whether it happened, but whether it really matters whether it happened. For if it happened, it happened nearly 2,000 years ago. How can an event of such remote antiquity have any great importance for us today? Why on earth do Christians make such a song and dance about it? Is it not irrelevant? No; my argument now is that the resurrection resonates with our human condition. It speaks to our needs as no other distant event does or could. It is the mainstay of our Christian assurance.
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Sat, Mar 23rd - 8:53AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! DUEL!
Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he’d been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened.
“Well, Dad,” said Pete, “ I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons.”
“Uh-huh,” said the father, “that seems fair.”
“I know, but I never thought he’d choose his sister!”
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Sat, Mar 23rd - 8:48AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.*
*There is a way that seems right to a person, but its end is the way to death. Proverbs 14:12 (NRSV)
I know, O LORD, that the way of human beings is not in their control, that mortals as they walk cannot direct their steps. Jeremiah 10:23 (NRSV)
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10 (NRSV)
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Fri, Mar 22nd - 9:39AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! DON'T WANT HIM BACK!
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! DON'T WANT HIM BACK! A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.
She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
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Fri, Mar 22nd - 9:31AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
"The safest place in all the world to be is the center of the will of God." Are you safe today?*Dr. Baker James Cauthen quoted by Dr. Jim Denison, Pastor Park Cities Baptist Church, Dallas TX.
*14And this is the boldness we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 1 John 5:14 (NRSV)
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Thu, Mar 21st - 7:42AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! LONELY HEARTS
A man looking for love sent his picture to the Lonely Hearts Club.
The reply came back, “We are not that lonely.”
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Thu, Mar 21st - 7:35AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
The believer's faith is as valid as its object, which is the living (Christ) and written (Bible) Word of God. With the infinite God of the universe as the object of Christian faith, there is virtually no limit to the spiritual heights that positive believing can take you.* (Neil Anderson 6/4/03)
*"Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;" Hebrews 6:19 (KJV)
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Wed, Mar 20th - 10:09AM
Find Your Life
Colossians 3:3 For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God
(paraphrase: I have already died and God has hidden my life with Christ in God,) [My challenge is to find my life in Christ and live it. God is in Christ Who is in me who is in Christ Who is in God.)
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Wed, Mar 20th - 7:13AM
FROM DEATH TO LIFE!
We live and die. Christ died and lived! JOHN STOTT
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Wed, Mar 20th - 7:05AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! UNFIT DRINKING WATER
So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen. "Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water?" Gramma asked him. "I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma" exclaimed Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
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Wed, Mar 20th - 6:47AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Those predisposed to do His will understand what it is, and by the grace of God will do it.* Neil Anderson
*17Anyone who resolves to do the will of God will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own. John 7:17 (NRSV)
6I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 (NRSV)
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Tue, Mar 19th - 11:09AM
Figment of the Imagination
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A WORTHLESS PERSON. THEY ARE JUST THE FIGMENT OF SOME PEOPLE'S IMMAGINATION! (Doyle Purifoy)
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Tue, Mar 19th - 9:31AM
LESSONS FROM THE CROSS
The Cross of Jesus
Three lessons There are three final lessons which I learned from the cross. First, that my sin is foul beyond words. If there were no way for our sins to be cleansed and forgiven but that the Son of God should die for them, then our sins must be sinful indeed. Secondly, I learn that God's love is great beyond all understanding. He could have abandoned us to our just fate and left us to perish in our sins. But he didn't. He loved us, and he pursued us even to the desolate agony of the cross. Thirdly, I learn that salvation is a free gift. I do not deserve it. I cannot earn it. I do not need to attempt to procure it by my own merit or effort. Jesus Christ on the cross has done everything that is necessary for us to be forgiven. He has borne our sin and curse. What, then, must we do? Nothing! Nothing but fall on our knees in penitence and faith, and stretch out an open, empty hand to receive salvation as a gift that is entirely free. JOHN STOTT
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Tue, Mar 19th - 9:18AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! MIRACLE DOCTOR
A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town�s grouch So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothing', so what are you going to do?"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43."
Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells.
"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor.
So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!"
Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..."
Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.
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Tue, Mar 19th - 9:08AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
One can never pay in gratitude; one can only pay "in kind" somewhere else in life.* - Anne Morrow Lindbergh, writer (1906-2001)
*"If a brother or sister is naked and lacks daily food, 16and one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and eat your fill,” and yet you do not supply their bodily needs, what is the good of that? So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead." James 2:15-17 (NRSV)
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Mon, Mar 18th - 9:42AM
ENEMIES OF THE CROSS
To be an enemy of the cross is to set ourselves against its purposes. Self-righteousness (instead of looking to the cross for justification), self-indulgence (instead of taking up the cross to follow Christ), self-advertisement (instead of preaching Christ crucified) and self-glorification (instead of glorying in the cross) - these are the distortions which make us 'enemies' of Christ's cross.
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Mon, Mar 18th - 9:34AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! EMPTY SEAT
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
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Mon, Mar 18th - 9:25AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
"Probably the most important thing that negative emotions reveal is our own self-centeredness. We need to admit our level of self-centeredness, because out of such an admission comes the freedom to refocus our expectations away from God's creation and onto God Himself."* - From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley
*"Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others." Philippians 2:4 (NRSV)
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Sun, Mar 17th - 7:29AM
HOW LOVE IS KINDLED
How love is kindled
The cross is the blazing fire at which the flame of our love is kindled, but we have to get near enough to it for its sparks to fall on us.
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Sun, Mar 17th - 7:21AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! SNAIL'S PACE
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" the man shouted "NO why don’t you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
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Sun, Mar 17th - 7:12AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
"Be inspired with the belief that life is a great and noble calling; not a mean and groveling thing that we are to shuffle through as we can, but an elevated and lofty destiny."* -- William E. Gladstone
*"I call heaven and earth to witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live," Deuteronomy 30:19 (NRSV)
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10 (NRSV)
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Sat, Mar 16th - 9:33AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! CHURCH SERVICES IN THE FUTURE
PASTOR: Praise the Lord.
CONGREGATION: Hallelujah PASTOR: Can we please turn our tablet PC, iPad, cellphone, kindle Bibles to 1 Cor. 13:13. And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon.
PASTOR: Let us pray, committing this week into God's hands.
Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook and chat with God.
PASTOR: Please have your credit and debit cards ready as we shall now take tithes and offerings. You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password Lord909887.
Ushers circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers.
Those who prefer to make electronic funds transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church and those who prefer to use iPads are allowed to flip them open. Those who prefer telephone banking are allowed to take out their cellphones to transfer their contributions to the church bank account (The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the cellphones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!)
[Announcement] SECRETARY: This week's cell meetings shall be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place.
Please don't miss out. Thursday's bible teachings will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don't miss out. You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers. God bless you and have a wonderful week!
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Sat, Mar 16th - 9:22AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
"If I had listened to the critics I'd have died drunk in the gutter"* -- Chekov
*"33Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies." Romans 8:33 (NRSV)
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Fri, Mar 15th - 10:51AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! YOUNG MAN'S DISORDER
A young man was visiting a psychiatrist, hoping to cure his eating and sleeping disorder.
"Every thought I have turns to my mother," he told the psychiatrist.
"As soon as I fall asleep and begin to dream, everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up so upset that all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast."
The psychiatrist replied, "What, just one piece of toast for a big boy like you?"
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Fri, Mar 15th - 10:36AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
"Preach the gospel at all times; when necessary, use words."* St. Francis of Assisi
*19Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19 - 20 (NRSV)
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Thu, Mar 14th - 8:44AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: There is no jail which cannot be made a sanctuary of worship, no jailer who cannot be reached by God's love. The will of God never leads where the grace of God cannot sustain. When you're called to Macedonia, go. When you find yourself in jail, pray. Your Father will grant you his peace, all day long. Is he waiting on your next prayer? Jim Denison, GodIssues 3/19/09
6Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6 (NRSV)
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Wed, Mar 13th - 8:34AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! FUTURE CHURCH SERVICES
PASTOR: Praise the Lord.
CONGREGATION: Hallelujah
PASTOR: Can we please turn our tablet PC, iPad, cellphone, kindle Bibles to 1 Cor. 13:13. And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon.
PASTOR: Let us pray, committing this week into God's hands.
Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook and chat with God.
PASTOR: Please have your credit and debit cards ready as we shall now take tithes and offerings. You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password Lord909887.
Ushers circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers.
Those who prefer to make electronic funds transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church and those who prefer to use iPads are allowed to flip them open. Those who prefer telephone banking are allowed to take out their cellphones to transfer their contributions to the church bank account,
(The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the cellphones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!)
[Announcement]
SECRETARY: This week's cell meetings shall be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place.
Please don't miss out. Thursday's bible teachings will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don't miss out. You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers.
God bless you and have a wonderful week !
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Tue, Mar 12th - 8:44AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! PECANS IN THE CEMETERY
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you,
One for me...'
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!'
The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, One for me.'
The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all.. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done....
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.
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Tue, Mar 12th - 8:36AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
"You can no more separate yourself from your influence than you can separate yourself from your shadow as you walk in the noonday sun."* (George Truett)
*A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold. Proverbs 22:1 (NRSV)
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Mon, Mar 11th - 8:31AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! BEAR HUNTING
Ralph and Norris went bear hunting in Montana. While Ralph stayed in the cabin, Norris went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him. His rifle jammed, so he dropped it and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.
Now Norris was pretty fleet of foot, but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as Norris reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
Norris man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"
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Mon, Mar 11th - 8:25AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
God doesn’t just work along side us. He works in us. Christianity in an inside job. Christians are all wrapped up in Christ.*
*27To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27 (NRSV)
20and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 (NRSV)
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Sun, Mar 10th - 7:52AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! STOLEN CAR
While Mark was shopping for pet supplies, one of the salespeople came running up to him. “Mark! Mark! I just saw someone driving off with your BMW!”
“Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” “No,” said the clerk, “but don’t worry. I got the license plate number!”
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Sun, Mar 10th - 7:45AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Whenever we're hit with a trial, if we don't allow ourselves to become angry and bitter, we'll become much more empathetic toward others who are experiencing similar problems and more sensitive to their feelings. All these things make us more loving and a better friend.* - From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley
*James 1:3-4 "Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."
Romans 5:3-4 "And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4And patience, experience; and experience, hope:"
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Sat, Mar 9th - 8:42AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! YELLOW 24
A man goes to the doctors and asks why he's been feeling ill. The doctor examines him and replies "I'm sorry to tell you, you've got the disease known as Yellow 24." "What's that?” the man asks. "It means your internal organs have started turning yellow - you've got 24 hours to live".
The man goes home and tells his wife the bad news. His wife says "Well, will you come to bingo with me tonight then? Otherwise you'll never be able to." The man agrees so he and his wife go to the bingo. He finds that he's won the one-line and $10. He begins to think this isn't such a bad day after all. Twenty minutes later, he's won the full house and $150. He enters the lucky draw, worth $500, and wins that too. The bingo caller calls him up on stage.
He says "I don't believe it, mate. You've won three competitions in a total of $660 in one night. You must be the luckiest man on the earth!"
The man says "Well, no, I'm not. I've got Yellow 24."
The bingo caller looks down at the piece of paper he's holding and starts clapping. "I don't believe it; he's won the raffle as well!"
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Sat, Mar 9th - 8:32AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
The treasure of Love is in our ability to share Love.* Michael G. Maness,
*Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. 1 John 3:18 (NRSV)
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Fri, Mar 8th - 9:25AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!
Nurse: Good morning Mr. Smith, you seem to be coughing much more easily this morning.
Mr. Smith: That’s because I’ve been practicing all night.
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Fri, Mar 8th - 9:14AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Jesus did not worry at all that He was going to help someone that didn’t deserve it. Are His followers today free from that fear?*
*Matthew 8:16 (KJV) 16When the even was come, they brought unto him many that were possessed with devils: and he cast out the spirits with his word, and healed all that were sick:
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Thu, Mar 7th - 9:52AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! I TOLD YOU !
A Texas rancher was driving through Mexico and stopped at the edge of the road to admire the scenery and a white beautiful horse caught his eye. The horse looked healthy well kept and was in a separate corral. Just for tries the Texan asked one of the workers if the horse was for sale. The worker trying to communicate said “No, no, he no look to good.” The Texan was not satisfied with the answered because he saw that the animal looked great and insisted on buying it, after a few arguments the worker arranged for the sale and the Texan took the horse back to his ranch. He rode the horse through his ranch and galloped to the barn when suddenly the horse ran right into the barn wall. Frustrated the Texan takes the horse back to Mexico and talks to the worker that sold him the horse and explains what happened. The worker said, “I told you he no look to good” I understand; I don't smell good myself
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Thu, Mar 7th - 9:43AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
This life, therefore, is not godliness but the process of becoming godly, not health but getting well, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not now what we shall be, but we are on the way. The process is not yet finished, but it is actively going on. This is not the goal but it is the right road. At present, everything does not gleam and sparkle, but everything is being cleansed.*- Martin Luther
* 2Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2
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Wed, Mar 6th - 6:51AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! ONLY CHILD
“How did school go today? a mother asked her little boy.
“Fine”, the little fellow replied. “We had a new teacher and she wanted to know if I had any brothers and I told her I was an only child”.
What did she say?” his mother asked.
“The teacher said, “Thank goodness”
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Wed, Mar 6th - 6:41AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
When we think about laying down a life for another we usually think in terms of a singular event. But it is possible for us to lay down our lives over the course of a lifetime, minute by minute and day by day. And it is the work of the Spirit to empower us as we seek to lose ourselves in acts of lovingkindness and sacrificial living.* - Elaine Puckett, professor at Candler School of Theology in Atlanta, Georgia
*5 Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; our God is merciful. 6 The LORD protects the simple; when I was brought low, he saved me. 7 Return, O my soul, to your rest, for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you. Psalms 116:5 - 7 (NRSV)
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Tue, Mar 5th - 7:37AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! EATS THRU ANY THROUGH ANYTHING
The Army has been experimenting for years to come up with a liquid that will eat through anything and they finally did it. It eats through glass, stainless steel, iron,and all kinds of metal, rock and granite.
Now if they could only find something to put it in.
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Tue, Mar 5th - 7:27AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
"Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."* -- Charles Dickens
*"Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8 (NRSV)
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Mon, Mar 4th - 9:00AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! A LITTLE TIPSY
A man who was a little tipsy walked up to a parking meter and puts in some change. The meter goes up to sixty and he says, "Hey, I lost 100 pounds!"
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Mon, Mar 4th - 8:50AM
Serving Jesus
We serve Jesus because we love Him,not to score brownie points!
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Mon, Mar 4th - 8:49AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
Jesus did not worry at all that He was going to help someone that didn’t deserve it. Are His followers today free from that fear?*
*Matthew 8:16 (KJV) 16When the even was come, they brought unto him many that were possessed with devils: and he cast out the spirits with his word, and healed all that were sick:
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Sun, Mar 3rd - 7:39AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! STAY!
This guy pulls into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure his dog had fresh air. The dog was stretched out in the back seat, and the guy wanted to impress upon him that he must remain there. The guy walked to the curb backward, pointing his finger at the car and saying emphatically, Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! The driver of a nearby car gave the guy a startled look. I don’t know about you, man, he said incredulously. But I usually just put my car in park.
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Sun, Mar 3rd - 7:30AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
In solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared.* -- Henri H. M. Nouwen
*4Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 (NRSV)
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Sat, Mar 2nd - 3:04PM
Doyle's Notes in W T Conners Book-Redemption
When God turned us from sin, He did not leave us with nothing to do-empty, bored,-- to wait out our time. But we are left the privilege and responsibility of being co-laborers with God,-- ambassadors for Christ,-- participants in God's redemptive program, plan, and purpose. Comments by Doyle Purifoy in margin p. 1 of W. T. Conner's book Redemption.
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Sat, Mar 2nd - 8:36AM
REALITY
Contrary to what many Christians believe, eternal life is not something you get when you die. You are spiritually alive in Christ right now. That's how you got to be in union with God, by being born again spiritually. You'll never be more spiritually alive than you are right now. The only thing that will change when you die physically is that you will exchange your old earthbound body for a new one. But your spiritual life in Christ, which began when you personally trusted Him, will merely continue on.
Salvation is not a future addition; it's a present transformation. And that transformation occurs at spiritual birth, not physical death. God's Word promises, "He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life" (1 John 5:12). Eternal life is something you possess right now because you're in Christ. Believe it. Rejoice in it. NEIL ANDERSON
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Sat, Mar 2nd - 8:24AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! EDUCATION JOKE
A student burst into his professor’s office and says; "Professor Stigler, I don't believe I deserve this F you've given me."
To which Stigler replied, "I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award."
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Sat, Mar 2nd - 8:13AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
“One Person who's on your side always, no matter what you do or what the world does to you“... is Jesus Christ.* (Jim Denison, Park Cities Baptist Church)
*What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? Romans 8:31 (NRSV)
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Fri, Mar 1st - 8:29AM
LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE! STRETCH MARKS
A couple was making their first doctors visit prior to the birth of their first child. After the exam, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink. The man and his wife were curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the man took out his magnifying glass to try to see what is was. In very small letters, the stamp said, “When you can read this, come back and see me.”
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Fri, Mar 1st - 8:23AM
THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
What God has done for us in Christ is enough to initiate eternal praise.*
*"I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18 (NRSV)
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Name: Doyle Purifoy
