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    Sermons, Essays, Thoughts and Jokes
          ChristiansUnite Blogs. Set up your free Christian Blog. (Owner, rename this description.)

    Mon, Jun 30th - 7:45AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    I will not allow the circumstances of life interrupt my praise! *

    *24This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24 (NRSV)

    18I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18 (NRSV)


    Comment (0)

    Mon, Jun 30th - 7:39AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?"

     "You'll know tonight." he said.

    That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

    Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."


    Comment (0)

    Mon, Jun 30th - 7:38AM

    L





    Comment (0)

    Sun, Jun 29th - 7:49AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    To the natural man, death appears to terminate his hopes, dreams, expectations, and visions, but to the man in Christ, death has been transformed to the fulfillment of all of these things.*

    *55 “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” 56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Cor. 15:55


    Comment (0)

    Sun, Jun 29th - 7:43AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are cute!” The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now “cute.” She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”

    Her husband replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”


    Comment (0)

    Sat, Jun 28th - 9:18PM

    Integrated discipleship



    There is no more integrating Christian principle than the affirmation 'Jesus Christ is Lord'. It is of the essence of integrated discipleship that we both confess his lordship with our lips and enthrone him as Lord in our hearts. We assume the easy yoke of his teaching authority. We seek to 'take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ' (2 Cor. 10:5). And when Jesus is Lord of our beliefs, opinions, ambitions, standards, values and lifestyle, then we are integrated Christians, since then 'integrity' marks our life. Only when *he* is Lord do *we* become whole. JOHN STOTT

    Comment (0)

    Sat, Jun 28th - 7:44AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    It is easy to do right when you consider the alternative.*

    *"The LORD watches over the strangers; he upholds the orphan and the widow, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin." Psalm 146:9 (NRSV)


    Comment (0)

    Sat, Jun 28th - 7:37AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deerskin, one slept on an elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin.

    All three became pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys.

    This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.


    Comment (0)

    Fri, Jun 27th - 7:54AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    "Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."* -- Jeremy Kitson

    *"I call heaven and earth to witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live," Deuteronomy 30:19 (NRSV)


    Comment (0)

    Fri, Jun 27th - 7:47AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver. "Not only have you been driving too fast, you've been passing cars where it is not allowed. Your lights don't work, your tires all completely worn out. This is surely going to cost you a lot.

    What's your name?"

    "Schtrathewisizeski Vocgefastilongchinic."

    "Well, I'll let you go this time but don't do it again."


    Comment (0)

    Thu, Jun 26th - 11:19AM

    A SIMPLE L;IKFESTYLE



    What does it mean for the affluent to develop a simple style of living? ... The truth is that concepts like 'poverty', 'simplicity' and 'generosity' are all relative and are bound to mean different things to different people. For example, running water, let alone constant hot water, is regarded as a wonderful luxury by those who have to queue up for water at the village well, which sometimes dries up. But in other parts of the world it can hardly be regarded as incompatible with 'a simple lifestyle'. Scripture lays down no absolute standards. On the one hand, it give no encouragement to an austere and negative asceticism, for it does not forbid the possession of the good gifts of our Creator. On the other hand, it implies that some measure of equality is more pleasing to God than disparity, and its appeal to believers to be generous is based on the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, because grace means generosity (2 Cor. 8:8-15). JOHN STOTT

    Comment (0)

    Thu, Jun 26th - 8:17AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    THOUGHT FOR TODAY: The Christian is under both instruction and authority. He looks to Jesus as his Teacher to instruct him, and as his Lord to command him. He believes what he believes because Jesus taught it, and he does what he does because Jesus told him to do it.*

    *Looking round at his disciples, Jesus said, 'You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right; that is what I am' (Jn. 13:13).


    Comment (0)

    Thu, Jun 26th - 8:12AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    A little girl and a little boy were at daycare one day. The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey Billy, want to play house?"

    He said, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"

    Sally replied, "I want you to communicate your feelings."

    "Communicate my feelings?" said a bewildered Billy... "I have no idea what that means."

    The little girl nodded and said, "Perfect. You can be the husband."


    Comment (0)

    Wed, Jun 25th - 11:39AM

    JESUS IS LORD



    The two-word affirmation *Kyrios Iesous* [Jesus is Lord] sounded pretty harmless at first hearing. But it has far- reaching ramifications. Not only does it express our conviction that he is God and Saviour, but it also indicates our radical commitment to him. The dimensions of this commitment are intellectual (bringing our minds under Christ's yoke), moral (accepting his standards and obeying his commands), vocational (spending our lives in his liberating service), social (seeking to penetrate society with his values), political(refusing to idolize any human institution) and global (being jealous for the honour and glory of his name). JOHN STOTT

    Comment (0)

    Wed, Jun 25th - 11:32AM

    Called individually



    In the New Testament the Greek verb to 'call' occurs about 150 times, and in most cases God is calling human beings. In the Old Testament God called Moses, Samuel and the prophets; in the New Testament Jesus called the Twelve and later Saul of Tarsus. Today, although we are neither prophets nor apostles, he still calls us into his service. It is a wonderful fact that God cares about us enough to call us personally and individually. In consequence, God is 'he who called you' (e.g. Gal. 5:8; 1 Pet. 1:15); and we are 'called according to his purpose' (e.g. Rom. 8:28; Heb. 9:15). JOHN STOTT

    Comment (0)

    Wed, Jun 25th - 10:08AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    THOUGHT FOR TODAY: If we don't live for heaven we will live for this world, for it is all there is. Jim Denison, Pastor Park Cities Baptist Church Dallas TX

    *15Do not love the world or the things in the world. The love of the Father is not in those who love the world; 1 John 2:15 (NRSV)

    18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation; 2 Corinthians 5:18 (NRSV)

    1So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth, 3for you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-3 (NRSV)

    20But our citizenship is in heaven, and it is from there that we are expecting a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Philippians 3:20 (NRSV)


    Comment (0)

    Wed, Jun 25th - 9:25AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked.

    He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"

    "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

    "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"


    Comment (0)

    Tue, Jun 24th - 10:19PM

    Home



    Got home today from Baylor Jane & Jack Hamilton Heart Hospital. God is executing your prayers. I have been pain-free two days now. I didn't think I would ever feel this good again. I am very weak. I'm not sure how soon I will get back to my full routine. Thanks for your prayers.

    Comment (0)

    Thu, Jun 12th - 10:16AM

    The humility of dependence



    Humility to Bash [the Rev. E. J .H. Nash] was synonymous with dependence. He told me several times of the serious illness he had had when he was a young man. When he was at his lowest ebb, and was not at all sure that he would survive, he remembered being so helpless that he needed to be fed. This utter dependence which in a sense was for him the ultimate in humiliation, seems also to have been the beginning of humility. He learned then the inescapable fact of our human dependence on each other, and even more on God. The humility of a little child, to which Jesus several times alluded, is the humility of dependence. It is right to refer to children as 'dependants', for that is what they are, dependent on their parents for everything they possess. JOHN STOTT

    Comment (1)

    Thu, Jun 12th - 9:09AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "The optimist says we live in the best of all possible worlds and the pessimist fears this is true"* -- Source Unknown"

    *"God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day." Genesis 1:31 (NRSV)

    "He hath made every thing beautiful in his time:...." Ecclesiastes 3:11 (KJV)


    Comment (0)

    Thu, Jun 12th - 9:05AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

    Fingers began to write furiously, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

    Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"


    Comment (0)

    Wed, Jun 11th - 8:38AM

    CHRIST'S EXAMPLE



    *Lowliness* was much despised in the ancient world. The Greeks never used their word for humility (*tapeinotes*) in a context of approval, still less of admiration. Instead they meant by it an abject, servile, subservient attitude, 'the crouching submissiveness of a slave'.(1) Not till Jesus Christ came was a true humility recognized. For he humbled himself. And only he among the world's religious and ethical leaders has set before us as our model a little child.JOHN STOTT

    Comment (0)

    Wed, Jun 11th - 8:23AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.* -Elizabeth Barrett Browning, poet (1806-1861)

    *"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might." Deuteronomy 6:5 (NRSV)


    Comment (0)

    Wed, Jun 11th - 8:18AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    Three men worked in the Empire State Building on the 102nd floor.

    One day the elevator was out of service, so they had to walk up to their office.

    To pass the time, they decided that one would sing a song, one would tell a joke, and the third would tell a sad story - each taking a turn every floor until they reached the top. Finally, as they reached the 100th floor, one man sang his last song. As they reached the 101st floor, the second guy told his last joke. As they ascended the flight to the 102nd floor, the third man told his last sad story, "I forgot the key."


    Comment (0)

    Tue, Jun 10th - 8:44AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    Once “the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit,” we deliberately begin to identify ourselves with Jesus Christ’s interests and purposes in others’ lives (Romans 5:5).* (Oswald Chambers: My Utmost for His Highest Feb 24)

    *"and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us." Romans 5:5 (NRSV)


    Comment (0)

    Tue, Jun 10th - 8:38AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    During training exercises, the Lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.

    "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the Lieutenant as he pulled alongside.

    "Nope," replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."


    Comment (0)

    Mon, Jun 9th - 11:55AM

    SUBMISSIVE HUMILITY



    Submission to the authority of Scripture is *the way of personal Christian humility*. Nothing is more obnoxious in us who claim to follow Jesus Christ than arrogance, and nothing is more appropriate or attractive than humility. And an essential element in Christian humility is the willingness to hear and receive God's Word. Perhaps the greatest of all our needs is to take our place again humbly, quietly and expectantly at the feet of Jesus Christ, in order to listen attentively to his Word, and to believe and obey it. For we have no liberty to disbelieve or disobey him. JOHN STOTT


    Comment (0)

    Mon, Jun 9th - 9:21AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    The believer's faith is as valid as its object, which is the living (Christ) and written (Bible) Word of God. With the infinite God of the universe as the object of Christian faith, there is virtually no limit to the spiritual heights that positive believing can take you.* (Neil Anderson 6/4/03)

    *"Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;" Hebrews 6:19 (KJV)


    Comment (0)

    Mon, Jun 9th - 9:15AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.

    She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"

    Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'"


    Comment (0)

    Sun, Jun 8th - 8:14AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.* -Charles Evans Hughes, jurist (1862-1948)

    *"But the aim of such instruction is love that comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and sincere faith." 1 Timothy 1:5 (NRSV)

    "Pray for us; we are sure that we have a clear conscience, desiring to act honorably in all things." Hebrews 13:18 (NRSV)


    Comment (0)

    Sun, Jun 8th - 8:02AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?

    Joe: I won it in a race.

    Bill: How many people participated in it?

    Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!!


    Comment (0)

    Sat, Jun 7th - 8:16AM

    A paradox of Christian living



    It is one of the great paradoxes of Christian living that the whole church is called (and every member of it) as much to involvement in the world as to separation from it, as much to 'worldliness' as to 'holiness'. Not to a worldliness which is unholy, nor to a holiness which is unworldly, but to 'holy worldliness', a true separation to God which is lived out in the world -- the world which he made and sent his Son to redeem. JOHN STOTT

    Comment (0)

    Sat, Jun 7th - 8:12AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    It is good to be a Christian and know it, but it is better to be a Christian and show it.* Pastor Tim provided this quote.

    *Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. 1 John 3:18 (NRSV)


    Comment (0)

    Sat, Jun 7th - 8:04AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    Two kids were deciding what game to play. One said, “Let’s play doctor.”

    “Good idea,” said the other. “You operate, and I’ll sue.”


    Comment (0)

    Fri, Jun 6th - 8:17AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car, his father asked him three times what was wrong.

    Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you guys."


    Comment (0)

    Thu, Jun 5th - 8:42AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.

    The note read: "Bill Jones having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety."

    Failing to observe the punctuation, he startled his audience by announcing:

    "Bill Jones, having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety."


    Comment (0)

    Wed, Jun 4th - 3:16PM

    Gospel Nugget



    God's mission is to provide a way for all people to live fully in right relationship to Him. The right relationship with God is submission to the King. To be a citizen of the Kingdom of God we must submit to the King, Jesus Christ.

    Comment (0)

    Wed, Jun 4th - 9:12AM

    CALLED TO BE DIFFERENT



    Every Christian is called to be different from the world. Indeed, if you do not like the word 'holy' because it sounds too pious to you, try the word 'different'. It is exactly what the word 'holy' means. Somebody who is holy is somebody who is different. He is set apart from the world unto God; his standards are not worldly but godly. He is different. JOHN STOTT

    Comment (0)

    Wed, Jun 4th - 8:22AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    Because He has Risen, He is closer to you than the breath you breathe. Because He has Risen, He can give you His undivided attention without neglecting anyone else.*

    *22When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. John 20:22 (NRSV)

    11Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers; Romans 13:11 (NRSV)


    Comment (0)

    Wed, Jun 4th - 8:19AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting.

    "How are we faring?" asks the king.

    "Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."

    "What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"

    "Oh, no..." says the knight. "Well, you do now."


    Comment (0)

    Tue, Jun 3rd - 8:51AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    Teacher: Class, you have 30 minutes to write a composition on the subject of Baseball

    Jonah: Here’s my paper

    Teacher: Jonah, you spent only one minute writing your essay Lets hear what you wrote

    Jonah: Game called off on account of rain


    Comment (0)

    Tue, Jun 3rd - 8:42AM

    HOLINESS DEFINED



    Where today is the old evangelical emphasis on holiness? ... I suspect it has been replaced by an emphasis on experience. Now experience is good, but holiness is better. For holiness is Christlikeness, and Christlikeness is God's eternal purpose for his children. JOHN STOTT

    Comment (0)

    Tue, Jun 3rd - 1:49AM

    IN THE REAL WORLD



    Holiness is not a mystical condition experienced in relation to God but in isolation from human beings. You cannot be good in a vacuum but only in the real world of people. JOHN STOTT

    Comment (0)

    Mon, Jun 2nd - 8:30AM

    DEAD TO SIN - JOHN STOTT



    Dead to sin' In every analogy we need to consider at what point the parallel or similarity is being drawn; we must not press a resemblance at every point. For instance, when Jesus told us to become like little children, he did not mean that we were to copy every characteristic of children (including their immaturity, waywardness and selfishness), but only one, namely their humble dependence. In the same way, to say that we have 'died' to sin does not mean that we must exhibit every characteristic of dead people, including their insensibility to stimuli. We have to ask ourselves: at what point is the analogy of death being made? If we answer these questions from Scripture rather than from analogy, from biblical teaching about death rather than from the properties of dead people, we shall find immediate help. Death is represented in Scripture more in legal than in physical terms; not so much as a state of lying motionless but as the grim though just penalty for sin. Whenever sin and death are coupled in the Bible, from it second chapter ('when you eat ... [i.e. sin], you will surely die') to its last two chapters (where the fate of the impenitent is called 'the second death'), the essential nexus between them is that death is sin's penalty. This is plain also in Romans, in which we read that those who sin 'deserve death' (1:32), that death entered into the world through sin (5:12) and that 'the wages of sin is death' (6:23). Take Christ first: 'the death he died, he died to sin once for all' (Rom. 6:10). The natural and obvious meaning of this is that Christ bore sin's condemnation, namely death. He met its claim, he paid its penalty, he accepted its rewards and he did it 'once for all' (*ephapax*), an adverb which is many times applied to his atoning death in the New Testament. In consequence, sin has no more claim or demand on him. So God raised him from the dead, in order to demonstrate the satisfactoriness of his sin-bearing, and he now lives for ever to God. What is true of Christ is equally true of Christians who are united to Christ. We too have 'died to sin', in the sense that through union with Christ we may be said to have borne its penalty. Some may object that we surely cannot speak of our bearing the penalty of our sins, even in Christ, since we cannot die for our own sins; he alone has done that. Is not the suggestion that we could a veiled form of justification by works? But no, it is nothing of the kind. Of course Christ's sin-bearing sacrifice was altogether unique, and we cannot share in its offering. But we can and do share in its benefits by being united to Christ. So the New Testament tells us not only that Christ died instead of us, as our substitute, so that we will never need to die for our sins, but also that he died for us, as our representative so that we may be said to have died in and through him. As Paul wrote elsewhere, for example, 'we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died' (2 Cor. 5:14). That is, by being united to him, his death became their death JOHN STOTT

    Comment (0)

    Mon, Jun 2nd - 8:15AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    THOUGHT FOR TODAY: The purpose of learning is service. 'LEARN' TO WORK!* Doyle Purifoy

    *15Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15(KJV)


    Comment (0)

    Mon, Jun 2nd - 8:04AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture."

    The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," he reassured the man, "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."


    Comment (0)

    Sun, Jun 1st - 7:58AM

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY!



    Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.*

    *"God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? 20Behold, I have received commandment to bless: and he hath blessed; and I cannot reverse it." Numbers 23:19-20


    Comment (0)

    Sun, Jun 1st - 7:54AM

    LAUGHTER DOES GOOD LIKE A MEDICINE!



    A truck driver is driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,

    “Got stuck, huh?”

    The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”


    Comment (0)

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    About Me

    Name: Doyle Purifoy
    ChristiansUnite ID: doylepurifoy
    Member Since: 2010-04-23
    Location: Corsicana, Texas, United States
    Denomination: Baptist
    About Me: I was born Jan 2, 1934 in Stamford Tx. I was born again August 8, 1942 at First Baptist Church, Munday Tx. I was called to preach at 13 years old at First Baptist Church Mineral Wells Tx. I married Jo Ann Stuard of Abilene Tx. I was in the Navy from ... more

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