Fri, Jun 30th - 10:14PM

Finding my way

Wow!

A few years ago I received a vision while in prayer. I can not say if I saw it literaly or in my minds eye but it had an inpact on me and still does.

I saw Jesus beconing me to follow him. The robe he had on was dirty soiled with the dirt from all his traveling as a man while on earth. His message to me was follow me I will get you through what ever because I have been thru it before.

I am not a lone in this life Jesus knows all my fears and today he sent two people in to my life who have gone thru what I am going thru. One man I heard on the radio he wrote a book and in it His wife left him and he tells how he delt with it.

Also I found out today someone I work with has gone thru a divorce and feels more anger towards the Church than I do.

So pray that Jesus will use these two to point me in the direction he needs me to go.

Thu, Jun 29th - 5:00PM

Sorry Lee

On my last post I stated that Lee's comment made me angry. I want to clarify It was not Lee on the words that she posted it was my own pride and anger that boiled. The words she spoke I do believe was from the Spirit and it pricked my concience. (spelling?) I thank Lee for speeking the truth in love.

Wed, Jun 28th - 8:28PM

Thanks

This is an part of the comment posted by Lee(Thanks Lee) to my last posting.

"Will you ever be truly happy with any answer you may get to these questions? And even if you do get a satisfactory answer, what will the next question be? No one in your situation is to blame. Ultimately, satan asked for you to be sifted, God said yes. Why did God say yes? Because God knows everything before it even happens. God knew before things went bad that you were strong enough to get through this. He knew you would have ups and downs, He knew you would be angry with Him, yourself, and everyone else, but most importantly, He knew that He would get you through. It is easy for Him to say yes to satan if He already knows the outcome."

When I first read this I was angry. I thought that you are right. God is using me as a pawn in a game I call life. And he finds amusing. I only read the first paragraph. For several days I stewed about it. Then God moved and Sunday in worship he began to minister to me. Then in my small group the lesson was for me.

Then I came back to the posting and read the last part and cried. I do have a date with God and I am not going to be late.

Got to go for now thanks for the prayers.

Wed, Jun 21st - 9:44AM

Tired

Im tired of all the things in my life(not talking suicide) Im just tired of trying to figure things out to making it work. I knew I had trouble brewing in my marriage so did my wife all she could say is we need to do somthing( because she was scared of my reaction of just blowing it off or bekittleing her about it). For most men we are not going to say to another man i nthe church hey I need help. Here is wher I do not get what God was doing a this time a few years ago.

I tried to make freinds in my church whith other men so I could open up and talk. But they were to busy with their life. I understand a mans family is his first priority. But read this

 ⁴²They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. ⁴⁴All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. ⁴⁶Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

In the first year we attended I invited five families to our house two came. In the first four years two familes asked us over. We never saw anyone other than Sunday where most of our churches energy was focused. In my opinion not much ministry gets done on sunday morning. It is inportant but true growth (spiritual) in personal and one on one or in small group. No one wants to get to know others in the church.

Why did God not step in and help me connect to get help. Is it my faut? Was It my responability to make it right. Then what is God for? Aparently I was not srong enough to do it Where was God?

As for my wife she talked to our pastors wife for two years about our problems. Why did they not step in and help? The pastors wife seemed to have all the answers when all our problems came to a boil. But for two years silence from my pastor and his wife. Where was God? Last I new the pastor was on his pay role.

Mon, Jun 19th - 10:24PM

Things I wonder

I want to start out by saying God and I are okay. The last few months I have not had the desire to go to Church to talk to God to study the word, to even think about spiritual things. That came to an end two weeks ago in worship at church. God moved in me to rekindle a fire that is begining to burn stronger. I became confused thru the prosess of geting a divorce. I know my problems with my wife was due in part by my behavior. I ask God to help me for the last two years. Where was he he is the strong God he works in us. This was the question i asked myself.

Then the church I served in left me in the cold. I was in ministry going to college to enter into the full time ministry. Then this came up and I left town moved 20 miles away. I continued to talk to my paststor the only contact we had I called him. The men who I served with did not bother to call or see if I needed help or just someone to talk to. I got more support from co-workers (sinners who spend their sundays in bed because they were out drinking all night) they felt for me they wanted me to come allong for fun(I know the canned answer "they just want to drag you down") At least I would have been with someone.

My question is where is this "Church" I read about in he new Testement. I know I talked to one if my old Church buddys and he said they had all been busy painting and putting new carpet in the "Church". Funny I thought the "Church" was people not a building.

I know some of the answers to the questions I have raised tonight but I would like feed back on these issues.

In Christ Tim

Tue, Jun 6th - 9:11PM

I'M OKAY

For my friends on this blog site I wanted to let you know I am all right. I have not posted in a while because I log on and start to post and I don't want to type. I can't put in to words my thoughts. So i t is hard for me to post. I hope in the i can start I want to connect wilth you all. Thanks and keep praying for me.