Sat, Dec 24th - 8:36PM

Well, today was a pretty interesting day. It's Christmas Eve, but it was also a very special day for a whole other reason...Today was Stacies birthday and we threw her a surprise party because it was the first birthday party that she's ever had. We had Jolene take her out of the house EARLY this morning and Carrie and I decorated the house and had everything set up for when they came home. The theme of her party was chicken little so of course we went out and bought the plates cups and napkins and little party favors that went along with it. Carrie and I took some pictures but the funniest part was when we had her to bust a couple of baloons by sitting on them. the last one we did didnt want to burst and stacie had to keep slamming herself down on it until it finally popped. what really made us laugh tho was the facial expressions that she used each and every time she plopped down...hehe

after all that, everyone decided they were going to lay down and i stayed up so that i could be up with Carrie's kids. they were really well behaved and about two pm i went into get carrie up and she asked me to let her sleep just a little longer. intending to just cuddle with little bit, one of the puppies, i came back into the office and sat down and took him into my arms and ended up falling asleep...it wasnt intentional but we had a pretty late night last night and then carrie woke me up early this morning so that we could decorate for Stacie's party.

Stacie, Jolene, and Carrie left about 6 pm and went to Walmart and i stayed here s o that i could watch the kids and the puppies. it does tend to get lonely but i made the most of it and cleaned the house.

it gave me time to think about past Christmas's and i realize as i look back that i am truly blessed to be where i am today. there is only two things missing tho, my husband, who is fighting in the war in iraq and my children who live with their dad. those are the two things that would truly make this Christmas complete. i have pretty much all i could ever want or need, a roof over my head, clothes, shoes and a loving family. there isnt much more that a woman could ask for. The main reason tho for celebration is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is truly what makes Christmas special, if it werent for his birth and death, then Christmas would just be another day.

Praise be to God for his goodness and mercy!!!!!

Fri, Dec 23rd - 6:06PM

Today has been fairly good. i woke up about 8 but layed in bed for a few minutes and then got up and got ready for work. when i went to work i intended on getting things done and coming home early but it turned out that God had other plans.  i ended up helping Richard's wife with trying to get some type of help with their utility bills.  the situation there isnt a very good one. please keep them in prayer.

i talked to my dad just a little while ago and i could tell by the sound of his voice that he had been drinking.  i sat and talked to him for a while and was very outgoing with how i felt about how he is living. i didnt get harsh but said it all in a loving way. i just so badly want to hear him being the daddy i once knew who Praised God all the time and didnt live the worldly way he is living now. i also told him that once i did finally go up to visit that i wanted no women there. its bad enough that when i talk to him that i have to make sure that he doesnt start talking about the women he's cheating on mom with.  im looking forward though to getting to talk to my mom on Christmas. i dont get to talk to her very often.

im praying that i will be able to talk to the kids sometime soon. i talked to them two weeks ago and i dont like not being able to talk to them as often as i used to. someday tho i know that things will be different and i'll be able to hold them again.

im looking forward tho to my vacation that is coming up soon. i have almost two weeks off work and im looking forward to the rest and relaxation that are to come in the days ahead.

Christmas looks like its going to be a really good one. im looking forward to time spent with my family here. everyone here has become more than just friends, this is my new family filled with all the love that i could ever want.

Fri, Dec 23rd - 1:12AM

things here are going pretty welll...the last couple of days ive been pretty moody because ive been really tired and hurting in my lower abdomen..ive been trying to push through it but today it got to be too much and i ended up going into my room and crying..i also didnt talk to anyone for a while which made things worse...

we went out to Pancho's tonight for supper and then went shopping..i finished mine except for Carrie's dad...i figure that i'll be able to get his later...

i havent heard from my dad in a week so i am thinking about calling him tomorrow...ive really been doing alot of praying and so far God hasnt opened the doors for me to be able to go and visit...i know there has to be a reason but i also know that its not up to me to try and understand its up to me to just let God work the way He wants...in the end i know that ALL things work together for God's will in our lives...

Work has been pretty interesting..im not going into details but i will ask you all to be praying for a very sensitive situation and for God to step in..Richard's wife Phyllis has asked to go to church with us and even Richard is now saying that he would like to go...

im so grateful for the love of God in my life..and i just remembered that it was two years ago today that i met my best friend for the first time online...Happy anniversary sissypooh, i love you!!!!

Sat, Dec 17th - 3:19AM

Well the weekend is finally here and i am soo looking forward to a few days off!!!! Work has been really interesting this week and today the man that i am taking care of and his wife surprised me when i went in bc they decided they wanted to give me something for christmas and she gave me a bunch of brand new clothes that she had never worn. she also fixed breakfast so it was a good surprise

we have been doing alot of christmas shopping and getting somethings to surprise stacie for her birthday...i wanted to do something special for her since she's never had a real birthday party...

we went out tonight and i got a few little things for Christmas here...not too much but a little..im actually looking forward to the holidays and spending time with those i love

Wed, Dec 14th - 9:48PM

I guess you could say the last few days have been pretty well. I've been working and trying to save up to get a place of my own. i can't help but feeling that Carrie is being over pressured with everyone here. i dont want to put no more pressure on her than she already has. she not only has her family here but four other people not to mention the animals....

i got a call from my dad tonight. he doesnt hardly call unless something is wrong so when my sister in law put him on the phone, he was sobbing. i asked him what was wrong and he kept saying that he missed me and that he didnt want to spend another christmas without me. its hard for me to hear him like that but i know also that God is trying to work in his life so i really dont know what to do. i do not want to tie God's hands if he is trying to open dad's eyes.

i did try to talk to carrie about it but that didnt go over so well so ive decided to just pray about it and see what God leads me to do. i know that God is wanting me to make decisions on my own but it hurt that she didnt even seem to care. so ive been back in the office ever since praying and just keeping to myself.

Wed, Dec 14th - 9:48PM

I guess you could say the last few days have been pretty well. I've been working and trying to save up to get a place of my own. i can't help but feeling that Carrie is being over pressured with everyone here. i dont want to put no more pressure on her than she already has. she not only has her family here but four other people not to mention the animals....

i got a call from my dad tonight. he doesnt hardly call unless something is wrong so when my sister in law put him on the phone, he was sobbing. i asked him what was wrong and he kept saying that he missed me and that he didnt want to spend another christmas without me. its hard for me to hear him like that but i know also that God is trying to work in his life so i really dont know what to do. i do not want to tie God's hands if he is trying to open dad's eyes.

i did try to talk to carrie about it but that didnt go over so well so ive decided to just pray about it and see what God leads me to do. i know that God is wanting me to make decisions on my own but it hurt that she didnt even seem to care. so ive been back in the office ever since praying and just keeping to myself.

Sun, Dec 11th - 11:27PM

Today was a pretty awesome day. we actually got to church without being too very late. Trish, jolene and stacie were all baptized this morning and then the service afterward was really great.

we came home and decided to do some cross stitching for the christmas party gifts at church tonight. it ended up being alot more fun that i expected. we played a game called white elephant where you draw a number and walk up to the table for the men or women depending on which one you are and choose a gift. once you choose your gift you walk back to your seat and open it and show everyone what you got. when its the next person's turn, they can either choose a gift off the table or take yours. it was hilarious. Luckily tho i only had one of mine stolen, which was a purse. when my gift was taken i was allowed to go back to the table or take someone elses gift. i opted to go to the table and got a cute lil dip bowl with dish towels. im so glad i got to keep that one!!!!

we came home and have been just having a good time

im looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow. this weekend was fun and relaxing but i still cant get my mind off of work.  i guess that's what happens when you really like the job you are doing....

Sat, Dec 10th - 7:22PM

today has been sort of a down day for me. i woke up about 9 with the puppies but couldnt stay awake so i went back to bed for a while. it didnt take too long once i laid back down to fall asleep. the next thing i knew is i was getting something very cold thrown in my face and carrie telling me to get up. i found out later it was the remainder of trish's grape juice with ice, yuck!!!!

i cleaned my room, steamed cleaned the carpet, did my laundry and washed dishes for carrie while she was out with Dwayne and the kids. I checked email earlier but decided that i would again. i was kind of hoping to hear something from my hubby. but there still wasnt anything and there hasnt been any phone calls so i dont know what's going on.

now that im working, on my days off its kind of hard to keep from getting bored. im only off two days a week but those two days seem to drag by now. it seems so funny but i actually look forward to going to work everyday. its the same as when i worked in that group home in ohio.

things here at the house are pretty much the same. we all have our days when we are in our down modes and i guess today is mine. it doesnt feel like its almost Christmas to me. it might be because my husband is so far away or it could just be that im not in much of a christmas spirit this year. I know that it is partly because i dont have a place of my own and all of my christmas decorations are sitting in storage because all i really have is a tree and its decorations. this time last year i was preparing for danny to come home from afganistan and planning on getting married and all. this year just doesnt seem to have that excitement.

ive been praying alot more and staying in the word more, trying to find encouragement through the worrying over danny. i pray that he is safe and unharmed wherever he is.

Fri, Dec 9th - 7:21PM

today has been another awesome day. work was good. i missed yesterday because of the ice on the roads. school was cancelled, so we had the kids here at the house all day.

i went into work today and Richard was in a really good and talkative mood. he sat and watched tv, which isnt something thats unusual. i helped his wife work around on their computer and then we pitched in together and cleaned and then i fixed a big breakfast for both of them. i left work about 12:50 and made it home by one.

we all watched tv and then jolene sat and played the new sims game. i layed down and took a nap and now im just messing around on the computer for a while getting ready to take a shower.

friday nights are usually girls nite and im wondering what we are going to do. im looking forward to getting my own place so we can have our sissy nites there.

Wed, Dec 7th - 5:26PM

Tue, Dec 6th - 10:25PM

Mon, Dec 5th - 10:04PM

Today has been a really good day. it started off kind of bad because i overslept and so did carrie. but i got to work on time. work was a little more like work, i spent most of the day cleaning and getting laundry done there. i even got to cook today hehehehe

i went to colortyme with carrie today to get a big screen tv, they are letting me use the little tv that was in the living room for my room so that i can maybe have some quiet time once in a while...

i had an answered prayer today..after the offline i recieved from my ex yesterday i was once again questioning whether or not this was truly where God wanted me to be, and i spent over an hour last night praying for Him to show me. this morning when i went to work my boss Phyllis told me that she wanted to start going to church because of how i talked about God and the church i was going to and i told her that i had been wanting to ask her to go. They seem so lonely that i just hate leaving there sometimes. but i truly know in my heart that God placed me there. i pray every night for him to lead me and where ever he leads that i will follow no matter the cost.

Lead me Lord, I will follow

Lead me Lord, I will go

You have called me

I will answer

Lead me Lord, I will go

Sun, Dec 4th - 9:49PM

The last few days have gone pretty well.  Friday wasn't so slow at work. A home health care nurse came in and it turns out that she too is a Christian. She was telling me that they are going to be training me to check Richard's pulse, and simple nursing tasks.

The weekend has been pretty good. Trish bought all of us new Bibles, the ones that Carrie picked out, and I've been marking my favorite verses. We've all just more or less relaxed this weekend. i've been in a pretty good mood, except for being kind of moody last night because i was pretty tired.

i logged on earlier today and recieved an offline from my ex-husband. it left me upset, more than i would have liked to have been but its all in God's hands. i know that God is in control and that He will not let anything happen to me.

i went to walmart earlier and bought my youngest daughter a birthday card and a pretty little cross necklace for her. its something i have been promising i would get her but i wanted to wait until her birthday. im not sure right now if i am even going to get to talk to my kids soon but im praying that i do. i miss them and its hard not to be able to talk to them.

its been pretty cold here. i had to go out this morning and i felt like i was freezing.....lol

i dont know what we have planned tonight but i do know that if i dont have to i wont be going outside..its just too cold!!!!

Fri, Dec 2nd - 11:42PM

The last two days have been going pretty well. Yesterday at work there wasnt really much to do so my boss was gonna let me go home early but then she said that i could stay there for a while and chat if i wanted to. the way she said it she sounded so lonely so i stayed almost an hour and then came home.

Carrie and I went and had our nails redone and had the french tips done this time. We also went and bought some yarn and i bought dinner.

This morning I didnt go into work until 10 and was planning on staying until 2 but he had a dr appointment so i came home at 1. we had planned on getting new bibles, but no one really wanted to stay home with the puppies so we decided to wait until later.

in the meantime, jolene, stacie and I went in town so that I could pay my colortyme payment and take some money out of the bank. we stopped by to see trish and she gave us the money to get our bibles with and then we came home and I stayed home with the kids and the puppies. i kept falling asleep though waiting for them to come home and and i did fall asleep on the phone with trish ... hahahahahaha.

carrie bought the bibles and i'd say she did a mighty fine job. she bought me a new king james schoffields study bible with the thumb index tabs. its the very same bible that i kept being drawn to.

im looking forward to a quiet weekend. since im not used to working, im pretty worn out tonight. not to mention the fact that my glasses broke and walmart has to send them off to be fixed.

hahahaha God is awesome!!!!!