Sat, Jul 8th - 6:54AM

Things are definately looking alot better..Me and my best friends sat down last night and talked everything out..it was good to be able to sit down and get out all those hurt feelings and thoughts..even though at first i refused to go to her house..

it makes me wonder why so often there are times when we allow  satan to work in our thoughts against those who God has brought into our lives..I know that satan would rather us all die than for us to bind together in spirit, love and truth..but I will not give Satan the victory..

My bestest friend and I have worked two years together in this ministry bringing people in and helping them to start their lives over..yes there have been some really hurtful times when one of us has said or done something that hurt the other...but what people need to see is not the bickering or fighting but the way we always come back together and work things out and come out in the end loving one another through it all..

God is so awesome and i truly love Him with all my heart and am so very thankful for the loving and wonderful people He has brought into my life...

Tue, Jul 4th - 11:35PM

tonight my mind is reeling..i feel rejected..i feel as if my whole world has come crashing down and im powerless to do anything about it...ive been struggling to keep from giving up on everything..my house, my job..and my life..i just want to curl up in a corner and become so small that no one can see me..

I thought that once I took the kids back to their dad that everything would go back to the way they once were..i thought the distance that i felt between my best friend and i would go away..but instead things have gotten to the point that i dont even feel welcome around her anymore..i feel like im some bad person who no one can trust because i made a mistake and lied once again..what ever happened to forgiveness?

i dont know what to do or how to react to her any longer..her words tonight cut me like a knife..and my heart is broken..i feel as if my christian walk is in vain..and i feel forsaken and lost all over again the way i felt when i lived in west virginia..like im all alone..with absolutely no where to go and no one to turn to..God help me!!!!!!