Mon, May 29th - 9:05PM

Saturday was such a blessing to me..One of my best friends got married and she looked absolutely beautiful...You can really tell the two of them are really in love and it just made my heart melt..

But, lol..while she's been gone i've realized how much i really miss her..she's been here in Texas for two years almost and while she's been here she's lived with either carrie or myself..I guess ive grown a little dependent on her helping me around the house and keeping me company..its funny how while someone is around they tend to get on your nerves or you tend to take them for granted..now the house seems too quiet and too lonely..but i know its not gonna be long and it will be filled with laughter..

This weekend I'm supposed to go to West Virginia to get my kids for the summer and it will be the first time ive seen them in two years..im really looking forward to just holding them close..to spending lots of quality time with them and just being their momma..it seems like forever since ive held them and i miss them so much...

work has been tough but fun...i love working there..its challenging, especially when we have alot of customers and im running around trying to wait on everyone..i get along with everyone..

God is awesome..He's opening alot of doors..closing the ones He doesnt want opened..and its soo awesome to watch Him move..

Tue, May 23rd - 9:06PM

The last couple of days have been really great...Saturday night I took Carrie and the girls to the movies so that we could all spend some much needed time together..We came back for coffee afterward and then I took them home because we had church the next morning..

After church on Sunday, me, Carrie, Stacie and Gabby went to the mall and had lunch and then I took Carrie home so that she could spend time with her family while Stacie and Gabby came to my house..About 5 I went back and picked Carrie up and we all spent some time here at the house...I for one enjoyed the time we all had together..It isnt often anymore that we actually get time since we're all working..

Work has been tough, but I enjoy every  minute of it..Never in my life did I ever dream that I would enjoy working the way i do..I love the quiet times, when things are slow and I can read God's word..On Friday nights it doesnt happen, because Fridays are usually really busy...but during the week, its awesome to be able to sit and just drink in the word...

I'm seriously thinking about taking classes tho to get my CNA training..I love it at Allsups and I love working there, its just that i'm longing for something more...I want a job where I can help others..

God is opening the doors in alot of areas..all I know to do is just sit back and let God handle everything..and enjoy His presence every chance I get..

God is awesome!!

Thu, May 18th - 1:06PM

Last night was a good night at work..I got things done but took my time so i didnt get my work finished until 5 am..I then read my bible until my supervisor came in at 6..Time went by pretty quickly..

God is moving in so many ways here..He's just so mighty in everything He does and its so amazing to see what's happening...My God is going to provide all I'll ever want or even need...and its awesome to just let God handle things instead of me trying to do things on my own..

I'm actually looking forward to being "single" again..I dont think I've really been single actually without a man in my life since i was about 14..I want to see what I can do without someone supporting me..to be independent in every sense of the word..Yes it will be fun to actually go on a date, if it ever happens..I mean, i havent been on an actual date since i was probably 18...lol

I'm just loving life, enjoying every moment I get to spend with God..there is NONE other like Him in all the world!!!!

Mon, May 15th - 11:34PM

Today has been a pretty good day..I actually feel pretty rested, although I fought with a headache almost all day. I finally gave in about 5 and took some excedrin and then laid down a couple of hours until about 8:30 pm...

I quit my second job..i just couldnt handle working like that..and i know that God doesnt want me to tear myself up just to make the mortgage so I'm trusting that He is gonna handle it all..

I'm looking forward to having both saturday and sunday off this week, bout time i get more than one day...lol...I'm also looking forward to seeing what God has in store..things are opening up all around, some of them pretty interesting if i do say so myself..ive been witnessing alot at work..praying that what im saying is heard...I seem to be reaching my supervisor..she seems to be interested in what God is laying on my heart and is asking alot of questions, even having me look up some scriptures..

i really like my job...the atmosphere is awesome..everyone is constantly  joking and laughing..

Things here at  home are going really well too..God has provided all I need..even opening the doors and answering alot of prayers...God is so awesome..I wouldnt want to live my life without serving HIM fully

Sat, May 13th - 11:22PM

Things are going well  here, considering all that is happening..I keep repeating to myself, the Joy of the Lord is my strength..because I know that with him all things are possible

I'm learning slowly to lean on God for all I need..its hard..all my life, my dad has practically taken care of everything..even through my first marriage..when i came out to Texas, I determined that i wasnt going to let Dad hand me the world on a silver platter..and i havent...i dont want others to think of me as someone who cant fend for themselves or take care of myself..i want to be seen as being honest and hard working..

tonight at prayer meeting, I ended up laying in the floor and just crying..the past couple of days have been really hard with working two jobs and tonight i believe i got the release from God to walk away from the other job..With the job at the convenience store, there's room for promotion..and room to grow...its challenging and keeps me on my toes..the home health care job barely covers anything..so im sticking with the convenience store..

I'm looking forward to seeing what doors God is going to open for me..Its so amazing that once you start following God's will, how many doors open up..God is soo amazing!!!!

Fri, May 12th - 9:57AM

what's going on

Today certainly doesnt seem to be as trying as yesterday..I didnt fall asleep until almost 3 pm..and didnt get up until almost nine..almost six hours..not bad...lol

Today I dont have to stay up as long..I go to my second job at 10 and should be done by 11 or so..I love working in the convenience store tho..especially working the night shift..its always busy when i first go in but around 12 or so things start slowing down..i always stock the cooler and the shelves first, then do my cleaning..by the time all that is done, there isnt much to do but sit and wait for the customers to get there..so instead of just sitting there, ive been doing alot of reading in the Word and alot of walking around the store and praying..i feel so much closer to God since I started working this job..and i think its because of all the extra quiet time Im getting..

Even with the divorce going on, I feel such a peace..I know that God's hand is on me..and I know that He is going to take care of all my needs..there is no doubt in that whatsoever..

The situation with my husband is a very touchy one..When you find out someone doesnt love you and never did, it tends to really make you think..I was informed not only by him, but by his CO that he only married me for the marriage pay..which explains alot of things..His CO said that Danny had thought I was vulnerable because when we met, I was going through a divorce and that he thought he could really control me..But when I moved to Texas, there was something he didnt expect, i had some one to stand by me and support me and he wasnt thinking that was going to happen....

He has called me his "high paid prostitute" on many occasions and i kept wondering why he would call me that..now i know..

so, in God's eyes and mine, the marriage should never have happened to begin with..we've lived apart the majority of the marriage except for maybe 2 months..there is no love, no communication..nothing to build on..definately no trust..

Ive given this alot of thought and alot of prayer..and honestly i know in my heart it should have been over a long time ago...

Thu, May 11th - 12:06PM

Life

I thought that since I have to stay awake until 2 pm, that this would be a good way to keep my attention from the bed that is behind me that is looking mighty inviting right now..lol..I work nights in a convenience store and part time during the day as a home health aid..and i havent been to bed yet cos i have to work this afternoon and i also  have to work tonight..lol..so, instead of looking at that soft, comfortable bed, im focusing on the computer LOL

Well, first things first, My husband and I have decided that we are getting a divorce..it's honestly been a long time in the making, we have been having problems for a very long time, and there are some things going on that i dont want to get into a lot of detail with, ive already spoken to a lawyer and the papers have been drawn up and all they need is our signatures..and then hopefully if danny doesnt contest we wont have to even go to court..

other than that, things are really good here..God is truly working, I feel his hand upon me each and every step i have  been taking and feel his mighty blessing on my life..He is so awesome..so wonderful..and I love him more and more every day

Wed, May 10th - 9:27AM

God is Good!!!

Mon, May 8th - 4:17AM

Amazing God

It's so amazing how God opens one door and closes another..I mean..here's this big opportunity and the one that you had checked out before suddenly either is no longer available or you just never hear of it again..almost as if it has disappeared completely..

And its so amazing how time and time again, when its really something that God wants you to do, you get confirmation from all sides..

God is so awesome!!!!

Father In Heaven,

Lord I thank you for all that you are doing..Lord you know each and every situation in my life and I know Lord that you are in control..Father you know what is best and I will follow your will Lord...Thank you Lord for your protection and your guidance..YOu lord are Lord above all, King of all kings..and my savior..

I love you Lord with all my heart and soul..Thank you JEsus for being Lord of my Life..

Amen and Amen