Tue, Jan 31st - 5:02PM
It has been years...
Folks, I am back.
Some of you may groan. Others may clap for joy. Me, I just see that it is time. For those of you who have prayed for me or thought of me in my absence, I think I should thank you. God may have given me a little more grace for your sake in answering your thoughts and prayers.
I have a feeling, like a goose at the head of the flock for a while, that I will need many more honks of encouragement to do what I think I must do. I am unable to do this by my power. Previously, I thought it might be within my paltry abilities, but a couple of years ago I suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury, and my mind, insufficient as I am convinced now that it was, is even more diminished than it was then. What I needed to realize is, (in my heart, and not just my head) that this something that will be done by God's Power, or not at all! So, this terrible thing that has happened to me was evidently for my greater good. Give glory to God for that!
I will not claim to be a prophet, yet the last few years I have spent eating food cooked over excrement, that excrement being the refuse of my own life -- those sins I have wallowed in and fought way too weakly against in despair, not forsaking my hope, but certainly not grasping it as dearly as I should. It has been a long, on again, off again, pity party, though I would not admit it at the time, and would fight to keep a happy seeming composure for those around me, despite my struggles. I say this figuratively, but with this passage in mind:
12 “Eat the food as you would a loaf of barley bread; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel.” 13 The LORD said, “In this way the people of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations where I will drive them.”
14 Then I said, “Not so, Sovereign LORD! I have never defiled myself. From my youth until now I have never eaten anything found dead or torn by wild animals. No impure meat has ever entered my mouth.”
15 “Very well,” he said, “I will let you bake your bread over cow dung instead of human excrement.”
16 He then said to me: “Son of man, I am about to cut off the food supply in Jerusalem. The people will eat rationed food in anxiety and drink rationed water in despair, 17 for food and water will be scarce. They will be appalled at the sight of each other and will waste away because of their sin.
Ezekiel 4:12-17 (NIV)
Rough Times are coming.