DEALING WITH THE PAST

UNDERSTANDING THE NORM Continued (part six )

 Dear saints, children and certain others are highly vulnerable to deviant behavior and conduct, and also need protection from this, and other dangers, because they do not yet understand what it is, therefore have poorly developed defenses or boundaries against inappropriateness of a deviant nature. It may take many years along the developmental continuum for them to gain an understanding and to look back to recognize such issues.

Those who reach adulthood with limited ability or who have little understanding of the norm, are at risk of being inappropriately intruded upon in some ways, and have some difficulty in functioning, due to this lack of knowledge, which may have been deliberately or inadvertently denied to them.

The study will be continued, dear children,  and the good Lord willing, I hope to meet you here again next time.

love, serola

DEALING WITH THE PAST (part five)

UNDERSTANDING THE NORM:

Dear, Dear children of light in summary, we noted that the past is a persons developmental ( physical, mental, and emotional) history and experiences overtime. It is the school of learning through which we arrive at adulthood with the necessary skills( of maturation) to function as adults or not. We are speaking of all these things for now in a natural sense only, not spiritual. Furthermore we noted that these memories are used to form a scale of opinion which rates ourselves and others, favorably or unfavorably, and to what degree we find ourselves as well as others acceptable or unacceptable. I mentioned that all societies have scales, even deviant ones.

 It must be understood that this scale of opinion that most of us hold, is based on measures of the median, or how the average person is supposed to function (mentally, physically, emotionally) at each stage of development. For instance when a  child of two has  temper tantrums at two years old, this is called “the terrible twos”, and is recognized as a phase that parents can help the child amend. But a twenty-two year old having these same hyper-emotional episodes would not be rated favorably or acceptable, because he does not meet the median of expected behavior for someone in this age or developmental range.

Dear saints, this scale sets the standard then, for what is acceptable or not, controls, regulates, permits, restrains, promotes order and guides conduct within society as a whole and interpersonally, naturally and not spiritually speaking..

Now here is where judging comes in, when the majority believes that conduct is dangerous, harmful, or offensive, it will use police and judicial powers to control it, for the safety and/or protection of all. The level of police and judicial powers involved depends on how far behavior, or conduct deviates from the median or norm. For instance if one picks his or her nose in public it is frowned upon by most, put pick a pocket and it would most likely land one in jail. It goes without saying, my beloveds of Christ, that the further behavior deviates from the norm the less acceptable it is. Certainly this is why much deviant behavior is done in secret to evade detection and the consequences of police/judicial involvement. So some people can mimic the norm publicly and be deviant in private. The study will be continued.

love, serola

DEALING WITH THE PAST

SHOULD OR CAN WE FORGET THE PAST? (part four)

Beloveds in Jesus, the question of whether we should or can forget the past can be answered in this way. No one can totally forget the past, but certain parts or aspects of the past can be forgotten, better let go of. Of course, we can also pose this question to those who know of our past as well,.

Motive comes into play here for instance a person may have very pleasant memories of the past, and enjoy the pleasurable recall of the past, but when a person dwells, wallows, and obsesses about the past so that living in the present is neglected, there is a problem. It would be the same if the memories recalled were unpleasant. In other words we must have a balance and understand the difference between useful recall and morbid obsession whether it is good or bad. Nevertheless society both secular, and Christian, expects adults to take responsibility for their actions and any consequences regardless of their past good or bad.

**Some adults might see themselves as not much influenced by the past, making their own decisions and way in life by their own efforts. They would be partly right in the sense that each person has his or her own inherent or inborn qualities and character that is present no matter how they were raised. Some think this as why some people overcome adverse pasts, while others seem to fail despite having advantageous pasts.

DEALING WITH THE PAST:

WHERE IS THE PAST? (part three )

Bless the name of the Lord always, for He is the keeper of His children. He is a Strong Defense, and Deliverer, who alone is worthy of our worship, adoration and praise.

Where is the past? This question might seem odd, saints, but it is very important to understand that your past is known by you; by others who knew or know you; and what people have told others about you. So we can see that others, besides ourselves can and do have varying degrees of knowledge about our past. *The information from all these sources may be good, bad, accurate or inaccurate, or a varying mix. *The implications of this is not always helpful or beneficial. So we can see ,dear children, others can and do have some memories of our pasts.** These memories constitute the places where our past resides, which also has consequences for the present.

The fact that memories of our past do not only reside in ourselves, but in some aspects in others as well, denotes that we cannot control the nature of , or how this information is perceived or used by others.

**This also means our image, concept, and opinion of ourselves may, or may not be in agreement with how others see us.

Saints, in a persons circle of relations, and society as a whole, those memories that others have of us form a scale of opinion, fair or otherwise, about us ranging from varying degrees of good to bad,( better favorable to unfavorable).** Beloveds, it goes without saying that this scale can be weighted more on one side than the other. This scale rates and informs the degree or level in which we are perceived as acceptable or unacceptable; trustworthy or untrustworthy persons. We use this same kind of scale in our dealings with others, as well as ourselves.

Dear ones of the Lord, some might think they just accept people as they are, and that no scales such as aforementioned exist. Or if it possibly does exist, isn’t that judging? Firstly, scales exists all over the place. On a societal scale employers rate employees on quality/quantity of work, punctuality, ability to get along well and co-operate with co-workers. Voters rate candidates on perceived integrity, truthfulness, and the ability or lack of it to determine who is fit to sit in a particular office. On an interpersonal scale people in family and other relationships rate one another on performance, personal traits, and function as well. Needless to say that there are drawbacks, as that some can be judged, and suffer damage unfairly. Nevertheless, we can not call the desire to know one another judging, better would be that we need some ability to assess and know one another.

Little children of light, scales of some type exists in all human societies, even deviant ones. We will continue to speak of these matters in a natural sense, before we go on to the spiritual. Until then, may our Risen Lord, always fill you up with confidence, and assurance in His love.

Love

serola

DEALING WITH THE PAST:

WHAT IS IN THE PAST ?(part two)

(what does the past contain)

Saints, we continue speaking in a natural sense. Let’s go back to the that box I mentioned earlier in part one of this study: this box is the mind in which memories are stored. We have been given the ability to use our minds to recall the memories stored in our minds. Some feel that this ability to recall has automatic qualities, as some memories appear without any conscious attempts to recall them. The box represents the mind. What is in the mind are memories over time. These stored memories constitute what is contained in the past.

However, in the present the only direct access we have to the past is through memory or the powers of recall,* even those memories which are inaccurate, misinterpreted and misunderstood.

These memories of our past while not total, are of our own and others actions, reactions, interactions, experiences, successes, failures, emotions, and our accurate and inaccurate perceptions of them through which we learn and obtain knowledge of what the world and ourselves are like, both good and bad, as derived from situations, conditions, circumstances, and persons who have been helpful, or hurtful, and also of those persons to whom we have been helpful or hurtful, including our mistakes and those of others as well.

*Involved in the past is the mix of our own inherent character and qualities, the impact or influence of life circumstances, favorable or otherwise: accidents, disease, gains, losses of all kinds, injuries ( both emotional and physical) and level of seriousness, duration, whether or not some level of help, remedy, or relief was obtained or provided. This constitutes what the past contains. The past is located in the stored memories of our minds, but not ours alone as you will see next, in 3. Where is the past?

Until then, my, beloveds, keep looking to Jesus the final and only standard of all that is holy, good, righteous and true.

Love

serola

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